Releasing 10

Lizzie hears Mark’s voice in her head. Tucked into her waistband she finds pictures of herself as a little girl, naked. She throws them away, as she repeatedly tells herself that she is filthy.

Lizzie does not come to school for several days. When she returns, Hugh can tell that something is wrong, as she is tense and constantly on edge. When he finally gets a moment alone with her, she desperately kisses him in a way that seems more frantic than normal.

When Lizzie’s doctor tries to talk to her about how she is feeling, Lizzie dismisses him. She is overwhelmed by a sense of wanting to touch everything while she is full of energy.

A few weeks later, Hugh thinks of how Lizzie’s health has declined despite her doctor’s efforts to help. Hugh struggles to focus on rugby as he worries for her.

Hugh asks Lizzie about her mood, insisting that she needs to talk to her doctor. However, Lizzie assures him that she is fine. She starts touching Hugh, who instead desperately tries to keep the conversation going.

In mid-October, Lizzie gets on the bus with Claire. They are having a sleepover, and Lizzie promises Hugh that she will visit him in the night. When Lizzie sits down, Hugh sees new scars on her thighs.

When they get off the bus, Hugh immediately pulls Lizzie into his room. He demands to see her thighs, then makes her take her prescription bottles out of her bag. She admits that she has been off her medication for several weeks.

Hugh tells Lizzie’s parents that Lizzie hasn’t been taking her medication. She spends two days in the hospital while her doctor tries to regulate her “rapid cycling” (575) before sending her home with a new prescription.

Hugh comes to her bedroom to talk to her, but Lizzie is furious with him for telling her parents. He does not regret it—he is trying to help her return to her old self.

Gibsie plans a party for the Saturday after Hugh’s birthday. Hugh’s parents are going out of town. On Friday, Hugh’s actual birthday, his mother is throwing him a family party.

A few days later, Lizzie and Hugh go to the bridge where Caoimhe died. She shows Hugh the exact spot where Caoimhe went in. Hugh questions how she knows the spot, and Lizzie insists that she sees it in her dreams. When leaving the bridge, Lizzie pauses, contemplating jumping in.

The next day, Hugh convinces Lizzie to come stay with him for a few days, as he can tell that she is still having a mental health crisis.

Lizzie is consumed by her sexual attraction to Hugh. As they lie in bed together, he tries to talk to her, but she repeatedly urges him to touch her.

On Hugh’s birthday, Lizzie takes him up to his room after the small party. She tells Hugh to get naked, and he complies, then she climbs on top of him. However, when she urges him to have penetrative sex with her for the first time, Hugh is overwhelmed by guilt because of her manic state. Lizzie reacts angrily, insisting that Hugh promised they would have sex this night. When Hugh refuses, Lizzie leaves, telling Hugh that she will find someone else.

Lizzie wanders outside, angry at Hugh for what she considers lying to her. Pierce stops her to ask if she is alright. When she tells him that she wants to feel good, Pierce offers to help. She agrees but stops when Hugh tells Pierce to go away. Hugh tries to convince Lizzie to come back inside. When she demands that he have sex with her to “fix” her—using language that Mark used to—Hugh responds that it won’t help.

The next morning, things are awkward between Lizzie and Hugh. He questions what she was planning on doing with Pierce, but she accuses him of not wanting to have sex with her. He can no longer handle the different versions of her and urges her to take her medication. He uninvites her from the Saturday night party with their friends.

Hugh drinks alcohol with Gibsie at his party. Pierce tries to talk to him, but Hugh angrily threatens to fight him, so Pierce leaves.

Lizzie goes to Hugh’s house. She doesn’t remember how she got there but she has a half-empty bottle of whiskey in her hand. She stumbles up to Hugh’s bedroom.

Pierce is on Hugh’s bed when she goes in. He claims to be hiding from an angry Hugh. Pierce then asks if Lizzie is drunk, and she responds that she is. Lizzie sits down on the bed. She tells Pierce that she is upset that Hugh won’t touch her. Pierce responds that, if he were her boyfriend, he would do anything she wanted.

Lizzie closes her eyes and lies back on the bed. She says Hugh’s name, then grabs Pierce’s hand and puts it between her legs. Pierce asks if Lizzie wants him to “fuck” her, and she responds with, “I need it […] I need to feel it” (606). As Pierce has sex with Lizzie, she hears Mark’s voice in her head. She starts to cry, causing Pierce to stop. She calls him Hugh and asks him to stay with her.

As everyone drinks downstairs, Gibsie warns Hugh to lock his room, so no one goes in. When Hugh opens his bedroom door, he sees Pierce and Lizzie having sex.

Hugh pulls Pierce off the bed and beats him. Lizzie looks around and suddenly realizes that she was having sex with Pierce—not Hugh. Gibsie pulls Hugh off Pierce.

Lizzie tries to apologize to Hugh, insisting that she didn’t know what she was doing. Hugh tells her that he is going to sleep at Gibsie’s house. Lizzie follows Hugh outside, begging him to listen. He tells her that he cannot be with her any longer; he loves her and puts her over himself, yet she can’t feel the same way if she would have sex with his teammate.

Gibsie comforts Hugh as he cries. Hugh is angry at both Pierce and Lizzie for betraying him.

The next day, Lizzie goes across the street to talk to Hugh. She apologizes and insists that she doesn’t like Pierce, but then adds that she was just making things easier for Hugh because she wanted to have sex and Hugh didn’t. She thinks to herself, “What the fuck [is] wrong with me?” (618) as she tries to process what she did.

Hugh tells her to take her medication and think about what happened. He calls her mother and has her pick her up.

Hugh spends the rest of the day with Gibsie and Feely. He makes them promise to never bring up what happened and to make sure he never gets back together with Lizzie.