Releasing 10

Six weeks later, Caoimhe goes over to Hugh’s house to babysit. Hugh confronts her, demanding to know when Lizzie is coming home. Caoimhe explains that the doctors are trying to help her sister, insisting that Hugh knows less about Lizzie than he thinks.

Lizzie undergoes a series of tests in the hospital, seeing several different mental health professionals. She is diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Hugh next sees Lizzie at his birthday party. When she is overwhelmed by the party, he invites her to his room to be alone. They talk about her diagnosis, with Lizzie explaining that the voices she hears and the monster she encounters at night are not there now, because of Hugh. She calls him her “brave knight,” as Hugh assures her that she will “always be [his] lady” (156).

When Mark abuses Lizzie, she no longer fights back. The doctors have convinced her that the “monster” she describes coming into her room nightly isn’t real, so she tells herself that it’s only happening in her head.

On New Year’s Eve, Hugh stays with Lizzie all night in her room while everyone else celebrates.

Hugh thinks of how different Lizzie is after coming home from the hospital. He doesn’t care about missing the celebration; all he cares about is spending as much time as he can with her. At midnight, he kisses Lizzie on the cheek.

In the middle of the night, Mark angrily scolds Lizzie for getting her period. He forces her to take a birth control pill each night.

Two weeks later, Hugh rides the bus home from school. Lizzie has not been back since Christmas break. He rides his bike to her home, where he finds her in bed, looking exhausted. She explains that the doctors have changed her medication to try to make her “normal,” but Hugh assures her that normal is just a made-up word.

Lizzie and Hugh walk around her estate for the rest of the day and into the night. It makes Lizzie feel good to be outside with him, almost as if she is awakening from hibernation.

A couple months later, in mid-March, Hugh, Lizzie, and their friends build a treehouse. Hugh notes how much better Lizzie has been lately. She no longer hides her struggles, instead opening up about her diagnosis.

For Lizzie’s birthday in June, her family and Hugh’s go to the fair. As Gibsie and Claire dance in a competition, Mark plays with Lizzie’s braid and touches her neck. Hugh angrily tells him to stop. However, when Caoimhe, Mark, and Lizzie assure him that it’s okay, Hugh backs down. He is convinced that Mark is a bad person, promising himself that he won’t let him hurt Lizzie.

At the end of August, while Hugh and Lizzie play outside, Lizzie sees a scary lady watching them. She repeatedly tells herself that the figure is just in her mind, but Hugh claims to see her, too. They tell Caoimhe about what they saw, but Caoimhe insists that Lizzie is just inventing things.

One day after school, Gibsie and Hugh go to Gibsie’s house. Gibsie’s mother is opening wedding presents. Gibsie is angry to see her moving on from Joe.

One afternoon, Gibsie asks if Mark hurts Lizzie. Lizzie considers, but decides that Mark’s abuse is actually just in her head because that’s what the doctors have told her. She admits to Gibsie that she sometimes sees Mark hurting Caoimhe. The two agree to keep it a secret.

In February of the next year, 1998, Lizzie hides in Hugh’s room during Gibsie’s birthday party across the street. She thinks of how safe she always feels in Hugh’s house, which has begun to feel like a home.

A few months later, Hugh stays over at Lizzie’s house while his parents are out of town. It is Caoimhe’s 17th birthday, but they ignore the party and play games in her room.

For the third time that night, Mark comes into Lizzie’s room without knocking, angering Hugh. When he scolds them for not going down to the party, Hugh shoves Mark out into the hall and locks the door. When Lizzie is impressed by his bravery, Hugh insists that Mark is just a bully.

The night of Lizzie’s 10th birthday, Hugh convinces their parents to let him sleep over. They sit in Lizzie’s room and go through her collection of books.

In July, Hugh, Lizzie, and their friends swim in Hugh’s paddling pool. Hugh thinks of how happy he is to spend the summer with his friends.

Mark continues to abuse Lizzie, as she continues to think that it isn’t real. One morning after, she goes over to Hugh’s house. She goes immediately to his room, and he holds her as she cries.

In mid-October, Lizzie plays at recess. She is overwhelmed by the loud sounds, so she goes to Shannon, who is sitting with Joey. Shannon is crying while Joey comforts her. He takes off his jumper, giving it to Shannon because hers was ruined by bullies.

The next day, Lizzie brings in a spare jumper for Joey, feeling both angry and sad that he had to give his up. As she and Joey sit outside the principal’s office after getting in trouble, Lizzie gives him the sweater. He responds that he doesn’t need charity but takes it anyway.

During Hugh’s 11th birthday party, he watches how Feely looks at Lizzie and is overwhelmed by jealousy. He tells Lizzie that Feely likes her. Lizzie already knows, as Feely asked her to be his girlfriend. She told him no, as she only likes Hugh.

For the next few days, Hugh refuses to talk to Feely. When Feely finally confronts him about it, Hugh tells him that he is mad Feely asked Lizzie out. After they argue, Feely admits he was wrong and apologizes. Hugh tells himself that he needs to get the courage to ask Lizzie to be his girlfriend.

Lizzie begins to self-harm. First, she accidentally cuts her finger, which gives her surprising relief. She then cuts her thighs, breasts, and wrists, always being careful to cover the scars.

On New Year’s Eve in 1998, Hugh, Lizzie, Claire, Feely, and Gibsie spend the night together. Hugh’s father comes in to tell them goodbye, but Hugh ignores him, still angry at him for disappearing while he grieved.

At school near the end of January, Lizzie is in overwhelming pain because of Mark’s abuse. She begins to wonder if the sexual assaults aren’t actually only in her mind. The abuse has started to impact her life even more.

At break, she goes off alone and sits against the side of the school, crying. Joey comes out and sits next to her. He asks who made Lizzie cry, but she refuses to answer. He assures her that he can help her if she ever needs it.

February 19 is Gibsie’s birthday. Hugh is concerned when Gibsie doesn’t come to school. When Hugh goes to Gibsie’s house after school, he is stopped at the front door by Mark. Hugh sneaks around to the window and goes into Gibsie’s room.

Gibsie is in bed, sick. Hugh helps him up and insists that he come back to Hugh’s house to celebrate his birthday. They are stopped in the hall by Mark, but Hugh stands his ground until Mark relents.

The next day, Hugh, Lizzie, and their friends go to the cinema for Hugh’s birthday. Hugh is excited to sit with Lizzie, but she becomes anxious partway through the movie. She excuses herself to go to the bathroom. After several minutes, Hugh follows.

Hugh finds Lizzie sitting outside, crying. She is struggling to figure out what is real and what isn’t. In response, Hugh comforts her, reminding her that everyone struggles sometimes but they can still have a good day.

Lizzie can feel her mind slipping. She thinks of Mark’s abuse, harming herself to find relief. Her medication does little for her. She wonders whether, if she fully “loses grip on reality” (251), she will be able to recover, or if she even wants to.

On St. Patrick’s Day, Hugh and his friends play rugby, while Lizzie and Claire watch. When Pierce throws a ball that hits Gibsie in the face, Gibsie faints. One of the other boys, Danny, starts making fun of Gibsie. Lizzie takes Danny’s ball and kicks it over the fence into the river.

Danny confronts Lizzie, demanding that she go get his ball. When he pushes her, Lizzie kicks him in his testicles. She will do much worse if he ever makes fun of Gibsie again.

Back at Hugh’s house, everyone talks about the fight; they are proud of Lizzie. However, when Claire tells Caoimhe about what happened, Lizzie knows that she will be in trouble once her father finds out.

Hugh asks Lizzie what’s wrong. She thinks that she shouldn’t have let herself get so angry. She admits that she is “always so scared” of herself (258).