Sex and the City

The book is a collection of interconnected essays that chronicle the dating lives, sexual misadventures, and social rituals of single men and women in 1990s Manhattan. Though not a traditional novel, the chapters are linked by recurring characters, and the relationship between Carrie, a journalist in her mid-thirties, and Mr. Big, a wealthy businessman, provides an overarching narrative arc.

The book opens by declaring Manhattan to be in the "Age of Un-Innocence," where self-protection and deal-making have replaced love. An English journalist dates Tim, an investment banker, for two weeks, visits his Hamptons house with his architect, and is baffled when he stops calling. Vignettes reinforce the theme: Capote Duncan, a once-eligible bachelor, declares himself "ungettable"; Skipper Johnson, a twenty-five-year-old entertainment lawyer, embodies cynicism about love; and Carrie warns that self-proclaimed romantics are dangerous because they idealize women.

The narrator tests New York's sexual adventurousness by visiting Le Trapeze, a couples-only sex club, with her date Sam, an investment banker. Inside, they find a buffet with a sign requiring lower-torso covering, listless couples on air mattresses, and men having trouble with arousal. She concludes that when it comes to sex, there is no place like home.

A chapter devoted to Tom Peri, a forty-three-year-old serial dater, uses seven ex-girlfriends' testimony to profile a man who calls women ten times a day, proposes within weeks, and targets women leaving other relationships. The women label him "the emotional Mayflower" for transporting women from one phase of their lives to the next. Once a woman's problems are resolved, Peri turns mean, criticizing her weight and picking fights.

The book examines why many smart, successful Manhattan women remain unmarried. Jerry, a corporate lawyer, identifies a "window of opportunity" for women between twenty-six and thirty-six, after which their romantic histories work against them. He introduces the concept of "toxic bachelors," men who cycle through the same pool of women without commitment. Amalita, an international socialite, offers a South American proverb: "Better alone than badly accompanied" (30).

A profile of "modelizers," men obsessed with dating models, exposes a transactional subculture. Barkley, an artist, explains that to get models, a man must be rich, good-looking, or in the arts. George, a modelizer from New Jersey, describes cold-calling model apartments to invite new girls out and admits the obsession is ruining his life: He got a nineteen-year-old model pregnant after five weeks and, at twenty-nine, feels like an old man.

Carrie's relationship with Mr. Big begins when she decides, inspired by the film The Last Seduction, to give up on love and have sex like a man. Samantha Jones, a movie producer in her forties who always arrives at the Bowery Bar with young men, serves as Carrie's model for the approach. At a cocktail party, Carrie approaches Mr. Big, who responds with cool confidence. He tells her she has never been in love, takes her back to his apartment, and gives her a T-shirt and boxers when she stays. She falls asleep in his bed before he returns from the bathroom.

Amalita Amalfi, an international adventuress, provides a window into female survival in the city. She recounts a disastrous stay with Lord Skanky-Poo in London, who turned out to be a cross-dresser, and reflects on her own financial precariousness: She was once pregnant, broke, and on welfare. She explains how women in her circle survive through gifts, cash, and the pity of rich men, while acknowledging the toll: Others have ended up in Alcoholics Anonymous, working as call girls, or in psychiatric facilities.

When Carrie, her friend Miranda (a thirty-two-year-old cable executive), and others attend a bridal shower at their formerly wild friend Jolie's house in Greenwich, Connecticut, culture clash ensues. Suburban women discuss in-vitro fertilization, dominatrixes, and the Learning Annex, a popular continuing education program. Carrie sneaks upstairs and stares at Jolie's photographs, wondering how a woman gets a husband and a house when she has never come close. Back in the city, the women spiral into reckless behavior. Carrie strips and dances on stage at a topless bar, which someone reports to Mr. Big. He calls the next morning, upset not about the dancing but about her dishonesty.

Profiles of other Manhattan types accumulate. "Bicycle Boys" are literary-minded bachelors who ride bicycles as expressions of boyish independence, with patron saints George Plimpton and Murray Kempton. Stanford Blatch, a gay screenwriter, pays for acting lessons and writes a screenplay for the Bone, a twenty-two-year-old underwear model from Iowa, only to have the friendship end painfully when the Bone rejects Stanford's devotion. Two men confess to secretly sleeping with women they consider too unattractive to date publicly, both admitting they were in love but never said so.

A social shift emerges as women begin ostracizing perennial bachelors whose refusal to commit has made them tiresome. Sam is dropped from friends' dinner lists. Chollie Wentworth, a society figure, declares these men a bore and advises single women to find amusing gay escorts instead.

The relationship between Carrie and Mr. Big oscillates between intimacy and crisis. During a summer heat wave, Carrie becomes dependent on his air-conditioned apartment. After learning he dated another woman during their first month together, she has a breakdown in his bed. He sends flowers with a card: "Everything will be okay." In Aspen, he teaches her to ski and says they are finally close, but on the plane home he confronts her about a flicker of attraction she felt toward Tyler Kydd, a charismatic actor. She insists he pushed her into admitting something she did not feel.

Carrie adopts a Stepford wife persona, growing houseplants and wearing powder blue suits, as she tries to mold herself to Mr. Big's world. On a trip to St. Barts, he admits he fears saying "I love you" because she will expect marriage. Back in New York, he confesses he has "grown to love" her. Carrie calls it "just sufficient."

The breakup unfolds over the following spring and summer. A repeated refrain captures the stalemate: "Is there someone else?" / "This is about us." Mr. Big tells Carrie she is too aggressive and that he wants someone "normal." A private detective reports he has been calling a twenty-eight-year-old golf pro in Palm Springs. Carrie arrives at his apartment after staying out all night and slides into hysteria. In September, they meet at a restaurant. He tells her she was like a cyborg. She touches his finger and thinks, "You ate the pickle."

The epilogue provides updates: Stanford's movie earns $200 million, and he buys a private jet. Samantha moves to Los Angeles and begins living with Tyler Kydd. Amalita starts a consulting firm. Skipper disappears after a night with Ray, another international adventuress, and resurfaces claiming to be "totally in love." The book closes: "Mr. Big is happily married. Carrie is happily single."