Tender at the Bone: Growing Up at the Table

After graduation, Reichl decided to stay in Ann Arbor to attend graduate school for art history. She took over Pat’s apartment when Pat moved out. It was a large place in an otherwise abandoned building, and she was often lonely and frightened to be there on her own. One night, a man named Doug turned up, looking for Pat. Reichl invited him in and made him dinner. He came again the next night, and the two soon developed a romantic relationship.

Doug was an artist, passionate about sculpture, and Reichl felt that they “had nothing in common” and yet “he felt instantly familiar, as if [she] had spent [her] whole life waiting for him” (171). She found herself cooking many foods for Doug that were actually her father’s favorites. In retrospect, Reichl realizes that this is because Doug was very much like Ernst and getting close to him was a way to know her father better by proxy. She includes a recipe for “Sauerbraten for Doug and Dad.”

Doug took her home to meet his family. She noticed that although Doug seemed to like his parents and brother, he was not close to them. His very conventional, middle-class parents were supportive of his career as an artist, but they admitted that they did not understand his art at all. After Reichl finished her master’s degree, she decided that it was finally time to take Doug home to meet her parents, as well. Miriam had recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was taking medication, but Reichl still nervously warned Doug to be careful about what he ate during the visit. The visit went well, but it was disconcerting to Reichl how quickly her father and Doug bonded.

Because of stories Ernst told Doug, Reichl learned about parts of her father’s life she had never heard about before—for instance, that as a child he had ridden in one of the Wright Brothers’ planes. Reichl noticed for the first time that Doug was built like her father. She watched her father come alive in Doug’s presence, noting that he seemed more passionate than she had ever seen him before as he described his work to Doug and showed him the books he had designed. Doug was delighted when Ernst showed the kind of interest in his art that his own family had never showed. Reichl was jealous of their quick bond, realizing that, in Doug, her father saw the son he had always wanted.

After Reichl and Doug married, they returned their wedding gifts for cash and used the money to spend time in Europe. In Greece, they stayed at the home of a former professor, Milton. Reichl suspected that Milton had chosen to retire to Greece because of romantic feelings for a woman he had known in Ann Arbor, Hilly, who had recently moved to Europe. Reichl remarks that “all the best meals of [her] life were with Milton,” and she includes his recipe for liver pate (187).

Milton took them to visit a locally famous cook, Ephrosike. He traded fresh olive oil he had pressed from his own olives in return for their lunch. While they sipped wine and waited, the older woman went fishing to catch the fish she intended to serve them. She picked oregano fresh to use as she grilled the fish. Before they left, Ephrosike gave Reichl some yarn made with wool from her own sheep and mimed that Reichl should use it to knit something.

Because Milton believed that Hilly would visit from Spain soon, Reichl and Doug made up their minds to stay until she arrived. They spent their time touring Crete, and Reichl tried to knit a pair of socks from Ephrosike’s yarn. Reichl learned many new recipes from locals. She grew used to bargaining in the market for fresh, high-quality ingredients and cooked for the men each night. Eventually, Milton learned that Hilly was not coming after all, and he suggested that he, Reichl, and Doug try to meet Hilly in Rome at Christmastime.

Reichl and Doug toured Spain and Portugal, where Reichl continued to collect recipes and try new foods. Finally, they met Milton in Rome. He showed them the sights in a city he knew well and introduced Reichl to Italy’s food culture. Milton seemed sad, however, and they discovered that Hilly had canceled her plan to come to Rome. Hoping to cheer Milton up, Reichl and Doug used the socks she had been knitting to make Milton a Christmas stocking, which they filled with food, wine, and a Saint Christopher medal.

Milton took them to the mountains of Tuscany for a short time. There, they ate a delicious chicken liver pate while they waited for another restaurant proprietor to catch fresh fish for their meal. Afterward, on their way to visit Milton’s friend Gillian, they drove past several works by a local sculptor. Doug insisted that they stop, and they spent time talking with the elderly stone carver. In a beautiful grove of trees filled with the man’s magical creations, Reichl noticed that for the first time in a long time, Milton looked happy, and she felt that the time had come for her and Doug to go home.

Reichl and Doug moved into a lower Manhattan apartment with Pat. The apartment, which they called “Paradise Loft,” was in a run-down neighborhood—but it was surrounded by the things the three residents were most passionate about. Pat was close to Orchard Street’s fabric shops, Doug was close to Canal Street’s artists’ district, and Reichl was surrounded by a vibrant food scene reflecting the area’s diverse ethnic makeup. She spent hours combing the small neighborhoods, learning about ingredients and collecting new recipes. One of these was “Mr. Bergamini’s Sliced Veal Breast,” which she includes.

She met the owner of a tiny quilt shop, Mr. Izzy T., and was amazed at the quality of his work. She decided to order a quilt of her own and thereafter visited frequently to check on his glacial progress. Izzy suggested several local food sellers for Reichl to visit; a customer at the fishmonger Izzy sent her to gave her a recipe for gefilte fish, but it was the one dish that everyone at Paradise Loft found disgusting. Izzy also sent her to Joseph Bergamini’s butcher shop, and Bergamini gradually taught her everything he knew about each cut of meat he sold.

Through friends, Reichl, Doug, and Pat were invited to visit Andy Warhol’s studio, The Factory. There, they met a woman named Jerry, whom they referred to as “The Superstar” (model and actress Jerry Hall, who later became the long-term romantic partner of Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger). Pat insisted that Reichl invite Jerry for dinner, because Jerry had told Pat that Warhol was looking for a costumer for his next film, and Pat wanted the job. Jerry was amazed at Reichl’s cooking ability and decided that this was what caused Doug to marry Reichl. Scheming to get her own boyfriend to propose, she begged Reichl for cooking lessons. She most wanted to learn to make a lemon meringue pie, because it was her boyfriend’s favorite.

Jerry’s skills were rudimentary, and Reichl had to start with simple recipes and gradually work up to the pie. Izzy teased Reichl that if she could teach Jerry to cook, she should write a book. Jerry’s boyfriend enjoyed each new meal Jerry learned to cook, and finally she was able to present him with a lemon meringue pie she made herself. Still, he did not propose—and Jerry never followed through with her promise to bring Warhol by to look at Pat’s designs.