The Ethan I Was Before

Twelve-year-old Ethan Truitt has spent 59 nights sneaking out to stare at the dark bedroom window of his best friend, Kacey, across the street in Boston. One night a light flickers on, and he throws a pebble at the glass, but the face belongs to Kacey's mother. On the stoop, Ethan finds a bill with a return address that confirms his suspicion about Kacey's whereabouts, and he is seized with the urge to run.

Through flashbacks, Ethan reveals that Kacey was gravely injured months earlier, and he blames himself. He tried three times to run away and reach her. On one attempt, he found Kacey's nursing home, but her father, Mr. Reid, told him she would never wake up and threw him out. On his final attempt, Ethan's older brother, Roddie, tackled him and told him he had killed Kacey and needed to get on with his life. Shortly after, Ethan's parents moved the family to Palm Knot, a faded coastal town in Georgia, ostensibly to help Ethan's maternal grandfather, Grandpa Ike. Ethan knows the real reason: They want to separate him from Boston and from Kacey.

Grandpa Ike's house is old and cluttered, and his relationship with Ethan's mother is strained. Roddie resents the move because it cost him his baseball prospects, and he refuses to speak to Ethan. At Palm Knot Middle School, Ethan meets Suzanne Carroway, a popular girl who promises to help him fit in. A small, energetic girl named Coralee Jessup bursts into his science class. When a boy steals Ethan's lunch money, Coralee forces him to return it and invites Ethan to sit with her. Suzanne warns Ethan he has made a mistake and cuts him off.

Coralee introduces Ethan to Mack, a warm woman who runs a hardware store with an unofficial library in the back room, where they spend most afternoons. Coralee shares colorful stories about herself: a pet alligator named Tiny, a copperhead snakebite, a rolling pin that once saved her life. Meanwhile, Grandpa Ike secretly teaches Ethan to drive his truck, though he declares his bedroom off-limits when Ethan tries to peek inside.

Drawn to the derelict Blackwood house on their road, Coralee insists they explore it. Inside, she eerily knows the layout of every room. Ethan notices a fresh raincoat on a coatrack, and as Coralee searches its pockets, they spot the shadowy silhouette of a woman at the top of the stairs. They flee in terror.

Ethan overhears his parents debating whether Coralee is a replacement for Kacey and whether her stories are lies. When Coralee is absent from school, Ethan bikes to her house and discovers a sinking structure where she lives with her aunt Adina and her ailing grandmother. Realizing her home is the secret she has been hiding, Ethan decides she deserves to know his.

At Coralee Cove, a hidden beach near the inlet, Ethan tells her everything. He and Kacey were best friends from birth, constantly daring each other. At a birthday party in January, Ethan dared Kacey to climb a tall tree. A branch broke, and she fell, hitting her head on a rock beneath the snow. Ethan's account leads Coralee to believe Kacey died that day. Coralee listens without judgment, gently suggests that Kacey chose to climb and would never blame him, and promises to keep the secret.

Afterward, Coralee reveals that the mysterious woman has appeared outside her bedroom window twice. She admits she accidentally took a red velvet box full of valuable jewelry from the raincoat during their escape. They bring it to Mack, who promises to handle the situation. Weeks later, Ethan discovers the box in Mack's desk and spots the woman in Mack's upstairs window, confirming Mack has been sheltering her. Feeling betrayed, he and Coralee bury the jewelry at the cove, but when they return, the beach is riddled with holes.

Tensions mount. Coralee is absent on testing day, and Ethan skips school to check on her. His parents are furious, fearing he was running away. Suzanne then reveals that Coralee never attended boarding school and has told Suzanne that Ethan killed a girl in Boston. That afternoon, Ethan's parents reveal the truth: Kacey has been in a coma since the fall, kept alive by machines, and her family is preparing to disconnect life support. When Coralee comes that evening, Ethan explodes at her for lying and betraying his secret, then breaks down crying.

Hurricane Anastasia strikes Palm Knot. A news report reveals that a red wolf from the local preserve has been found dead, her orphaned pups unaccounted for. Coralee calls, asking Ethan to meet her at the cove, but he hangs up. When Adina calls to say Coralee is missing, Ethan connects the clues: The wolf had been denning in the storm drain at the cove, and Coralee has gone into the hurricane to rescue the pups from the flooding tunnel.

Ethan takes Grandpa Ike's truck and drives through flooded roads. He abandons it at a submerged bridge and crosses on foot, gripping the rail as waves crash over him. Nearly overwhelmed, he hears Kacey's voice daring him forward. At the cove, he finds Coralee clinging to rocks, her hoodie pocket full of wolf pups. A massive swell nearly tears her away, but the mysterious woman appears and helps pull Coralee from the water. Together they struggle to Mack's store and wait out the storm.

In Mack's candlelit library, the woman's identity is revealed. Coralee says she knows the woman is her mother. The woman, Nima, confirms it. She once worked as a caretaker for Mrs. Blackwood, the house's former owner, and used to bring baby Coralee along. Mrs. Blackwood gave Nima the jewelry for Coralee. When Nima left Palm Knot, she took the jewelry but could never sell it. She returned to reconnect with her daughter, hiding with Mack until she found the courage to face her family.

After the storm, Roddie embraces Ethan in tears. The next morning, Roddie apologizes for his cruel words, explaining he was trying to force Ethan to face reality. Grandpa Ike invites Ethan into his off-limits room, a shrine covered with photographs of Grandma Betty, who died of cancer when Mom was a child. He takes Ethan to the cemetery, where he has been tending Betty's grave daily for years, and tells Ethan that clinging to guilt prevents a person from remembering and cherishing the one they lost.

At Coralee's house, Ethan reads a journal of stories her grandmother dictated about Nima. The pet alligator, the snakebite, the Slip'N Slide prank: all happened to Nima, not Coralee. Ethan understands that Coralee adopted her mother's stories to keep Nima alive in her memory, just as Grandpa Ike tends his wife's grave.

Mr. Reid calls and apologizes, saying he no longer holds Ethan responsible. He asks Ethan to come so the family can wait for him before disconnecting Kacey's life support. Before leaving, Ethan visits Coralee, who plays a violin piece she composed for Kacey, a melody that captures everything Ethan loved about his best friend. In a final passage, Ethan resolves that when he sees Kacey for the last time, he will hold her hand, tell her it is time for both of them to let go, and dare her one last time.