The First Bad Man

Cheryl Glickman, a single 43-year-old woman, lives alone in Los Angeles in a house kept in meticulous order: minimal dishes, objects "carpooled" to their destinations, meals eaten directly from pans. She works as a manager at Open Palm, a nonprofit founded as a women's self-defense studio by her bosses, Carl and Suzanne, that now sells fitness DVDs repackaging self-defense as exercise. For decades, Cheryl has had globus hystericus, a psychosomatic condition that creates the sensation of a hard ball lodged in her throat. She harbors an unrequited fixation on Phillip Bettelheim, a 65-year-old board member, believing they have been connected across a hundred thousand lifetimes. She also carries an obsession from childhood: At nine, she held a toddler named Kubelko Bondy and felt he belonged to her. Since then, she has searched for his soul in other babies, believing he keeps being born to the wrong people.

Cheryl visits Dr. Jens Broyard, a chromotherapist who practices color-based alternative healing, using the appointment as a pretext to call Phillip, who referred her. Their phone relationship deepens through intimate late-night conversations in which Phillip hints at a confession but keeps losing his nerve. Meanwhile, Carl and Suzanne arrange for their 20-year-old daughter, Clee, to stay at Cheryl's house. Clee arrives as a large, physically imposing young woman who immediately claims the living room and dismantles Cheryl's carefully ordered domestic life.

Clee's hostility escalates into physical aggression. Cheryl's globus worsens until her throat muscle seizes. She begins emergency therapy with Dr. Ruth-Anne Tibbets, a licensed clinical social worker (LCSW) who shares Dr. Broyard's office. Ruth-Anne also works part-time as Broyard's receptionist. She asks if Cheryl has ever fought back. When Cheryl says no, Ruth-Anne falls silent. That night, Cheryl fights back using moves from an old Open Palm self-defense DVD, and her globus dissolves.

Phillip finally delivers his confession at dinner in his penthouse: He has fallen in love with a 16-year-old named Kirsten from his craniosacral certification class, a bodywork training course. He asks for Cheryl's blessing to consummate the relationship. Cheryl is devastated but tells him she needs more time. Over the following weeks, Phillip texts escalating updates about his physical relationship with Kirsten, always awaiting permission.

After Clee clarifies she has no romantic interest in Cheryl but does not want to stop the physical encounters, they formalize their fighting into scripted scenarios drawn from old Open Palm self-defense videos. They rehearse simulations like "A Day at the Park" and "Domestic Traps," with Clee playing the attacker. When Clee announces she is "the first bad man" during a gang defense scenario, Cheryl sees her as an archetypal troublemaker riding into a sleepy town.

After seeing a photograph of Kirsten, Cheryl gives Phillip her blessing. This triggers a compulsive shift: She begins masturbating obsessively, imagining herself as Phillip having sex with Clee. The fantasies escalate to include every man she encounters and grow increasingly grotesque. During a fight, Clee senses something wrong and accuses Cheryl of mentally degrading her. Ruth-Anne prescribes singing the chorus of David Bowie's "Kooks" as an antidote, and after days of obsessive singing, Cheryl breaks the spell.

After this rupture leaves them barely speaking, Clee breaks the silence one night to tell Cheryl she does not believe in abortion. The next morning, Suzanne calls in a rage to reveal Clee is pregnant, demanding Cheryl kick her out. When Suzanne arrives, Cheryl blocks the door and refuses entry. Clee asks Cheryl for help with prenatal care, and Cheryl transforms into a caretaker, reading fetal development updates aloud to Clee's belly. Clee selects adoptive parents through a Christian organization called Philomena Family Services and writes the father's name in a sealed envelope hidden on Cheryl's bookshelf.

Ruth-Anne and Dr. Broyard propose a rebirthing session, a therapy exercise designed to help Cheryl revisit pre-birth consciousness. Cheryl arrives early and overhears Dr. Broyard cruelly dismissing Ruth-Anne, accusing her of fabricating the session to see him. When Cheryl confesses to eavesdropping, Ruth-Anne terminates their therapeutic relationship.

Clee goes into labor with the midwife stranded in Idaho. Rick, a gardener who arrives for his regular workday, reveals he performed medic work in Vietnam and delivers the baby in Cheryl's bedroom. The baby is pale and blue, covered in meconium, a substance that signals fetal distress. Clee calls 911 with startling composure while Cheryl follows the dispatcher's instructions, and the baby is rushed to the hospital.

In the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU), the baby is intubated and diagnosed with persistent pulmonary hypertension, a serious lung condition in which abnormally high blood pressure prevents the newborn's lungs from functioning properly. Cheryl and Clee grip each other's hands, tightening the fist to mean "live." Alone with the baby, Cheryl recognizes his slow, tired blink as Kubelko Bondy's, the same look of recognition she has known since childhood. That night, in Clee's hospital room, they kiss for the first time.

When a representative from Philomena arrives to facilitate the adoption, Clee tells her the situation has changed. The doctor confirms the baby will live, and Clee names him Jack.

The early weeks at home are grueling. Clee only pumps breast milk and watches TV while Cheryl handles all other care. The sleeplessness reshapes Cheryl into a mother, a process she compares to brainwashing. She and Clee settle into domestic life. Clee makes a purple tally mark on a kitchen chalkboard representing "each time I think: I love you." They have sex, and Clee gets a catering job, but she begins coming home late and often drunk. Carl and Suzanne declare Cheryl persona non grata at Open Palm.

Cheryl senses Clee's growing unhappiness and realizes the fleeting passion has faded. She crafts a bedtime story for Jack about a future airport reunion, then tells Clee she must move out, be free, and learn to take care of herself. Clee cries and agrees, asking Cheryl to keep Jack until she is settled. Through a courthouse proceeding, Cheryl becomes Jack's legal guardian. Clee moves to Studio City with her friend Rachel, who becomes her girlfriend. Clee leaves behind a crystal from Dr. Broyard's office that casts rainbows in the kitchen, enchanting Jack.

Cheryl adjusts to single motherhood and begins speaking to Jack aloud, having realized she had been communicating with him entirely inside her head. Visiting Dr. Broyard's office, she encounters Kirsten, who confirms Phillip did have sex with her. Ruth-Anne hands Cheryl a card bearing the father's name: Phillip. He calls and visits, proposing they have sex to "get it out of the way." During the brief encounter, Cheryl pieces together the chain of events she set in motion: She sent Clee to Dr. Broyard's office, where Clee met Phillip. That night, Cheryl walks Jack through the dark streets for hours. When Phillip wakes at five in the morning, she has his things packed. He tells her he doubts Jack is his because he feels nothing, salutes from the porch, and leaves.

In the epilogue, the bedtime story comes true. Jack returns from China as a grown man with a companion. Clee has come too. Jack runs toward Cheryl, who is already running toward him, and the scene plays out exactly as she narrated it when he was a baby: music, brass instruments, applause like rain.