The Love of My Life

1. General Impressions

Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

• What are your overall impressions of Leo, Emma, and their identity as both a couple and as individuals? 
• Considering the dual perspective, what did you enjoy the most and the least about Leo and Emma’s character arcs?
• Though Leo is Emma’s partner, can his obituary-writing exercise be read as invasive?

2. Personal Reflection and Connection

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

• Did you find that you had greater empathy for Leo or Emma? Did this change as the novel reached its ending?
• In your opinion, is it ever okay to lie or conceal your past from a partner?
• Are there any events in your life that you would wish to keep hidden from a partner at the beginning of a relationship? At what point, if any, would you decide to tell them and why?
• How did the theme of identity and self-reinvention impact you? Have you ever similarly altered yourself to make yourself more comfortable or happy?
• Do you feel that Emma should have been more upfront with Leo once it was clear that he was going to continue researching her past?
• How might feelings of betrayal and deceit be further impacted by the inclusion of a former partner? Would this be a dealbreaker for you?

3. Societal and Cultural Context

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

• In today’s society, identity is something that people are often encouraged to govern for themselves. How does this shift when your new identity requires you to forget your previous identity? What are the ethics of hiding a past self from a partner if you also have let go of this past self?
• Is Emma’s identity shift more permissible in the context of emotional safety? How, if at all, is this complicated by her being a woman?
• What perspectives does the novel offer about the role of adoption in today’s society?
• How does the text explore the role of women in government in the UK?

4. Literary Analysis

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

• How do the dual narratives help to characterize Leo and Emma? 
• How does the setting of North London, a blend of city and town, enhance the tone or mood of the novel? What does it represent about Emma?
• Emma is a marine biologist. What does the ocean symbolize about her character?
• What does the glass greenhouse represent about the life Emma is trying to build? 
• What does Leo’s obituary writing suggest about his outlook on life and devotion to other people?
• Can Emma’s illness be read as a metaphor for secrets in relationships?

5. Creative Engagement

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book.

• Create playlists for Emma’s past life as Emily and her current life. How do the playlists differ?
• Envision a sequel to the novel. Where do you hope to find Emma, Leo, and Ruby in two years’ time?