The Vogons are “simple-minded, thick-willed, slug-brained creatures” (4), and their ugly ship bears down on the Heart of Gold, the “most beautiful and revolutionary ship ever built” that was stolen by Zaphod for reasons unknown (5).

The Vogon leader, Captain Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz, is being paid by Gag Halfrunt, one of the Galaxy’s most prominent and successful psychiatrists. Halfrunt is the representative of a consortium of his colleagues, and he has bribed Captain Jeltz to destroy the Earth and all humans. He tells Jeltz to finish the job by killing Arthur and Trillian, even though this means also killing Zaphod, who is one of his most profitable clients.

Aboard the Heart of Gold, Zaphod wrestles with the ship’s Improbability Drive since he wishes to visit the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. Ford rushes to Zaphod to tell him of the approaching Vogon ship. Meanwhile, Arthur argues with the ship’s Nutri-Matic Drink Synthesizer. The machine claims to be able to produce any drink; Arthur would like a cup of tea, but the machine can only produce a plastic cup filled with “a liquid which [i]s almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea” (10). Arthur tries to describe the entire history of tea to the machine in the hope that it will produce the correct drink. The machine consults with the ship; both sink into a “grim silence” as the Vogon ship creeps closer.

Arthur returns to the bridge, where the other characters are struggling with the inert computer. After being told that “all its circuits are occupied” (14), Arthur suspects that his attempts to make tea are responsible.

The Vogons begin firing, and Ford calculates that the forcefields around the Heart of Gold will only hold for four minutes. As time ticks away, Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz is surprised that the Heart of Gold is not responding in any way. Aboard the ship, Zaphod decides to hold an impromptu séance, an idea that emerges “from that dark area of his mind that he had inexplicably locked off prior to becoming President of the Galaxy” (17).

Zaphod and the other characters summon Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth, Zaphod’s great-grandfather, who criticizes Zaphod for “never [thinking] of other people” (20). Zaphod begs his ancestor for help, while his ancestor calls him “a conceited little megapuppy” (23). Eventually, Zaphod the Fourth slows time and talks to his descendant about the “great thing” that he must accomplish. Zaphod the Fourth says that the President is “a cipher,” hiding the true power of the ultimate power that runs everything. Zaphod’s goal is to find this ultimate power.

Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth zaps the ship’s computer with lightning and, as time returns to normal speed, allows the Heart of Gold to leap “an unknown distance through the dimensions of time and space” (27).

Far away, Gag Halfrunt studies footage of the Heart of Gold seemingly being destroyed. He is pleased that the last survivors of Earth are now gone, thus ending the experiment to find the Question to the Ultimate Question of life and safeguarding the profitable profession of psychiatry.

Meanwhile, Ford, Arthur, and Trillian find themselves in the dark aboard an utterly quiet ship. Zaphod and Marvin are missing. The ship plays light music and then shuts down after producing “the best tea” that Arthur has ever tasted (29).

Ursa Minor Beta is made up almost entirely of a subtropical coastline where it’s nearly always Saturday afternoon. The wealthy residents enjoy a life of luxury. The headquarters of Megadodo Publications, the publishers of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, are located on Ursa Minor Beta, much to the disgust of the poor hitchhikers who depend on the guide to travel on a budget.

Zaphod finds himself sitting near the headquarters, “looking very startled and confused” (33). He reaches for his Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses, which obscure any dangers that might alarm the wearer. One of the lenses has been scratched by a “hard, smooth, unidentified lump of very heavy metal” that Zaphod finds in his pocket (34). As he tries to relax, a thought comes into his mind. Knowing that this is emerging from the dark part of his brain, Zaphod decides to “go with the flow” (35).

At the front desk of Megadodo Publications, a pink-winged insect receptionist is irritated by the regular influx of hitchhikers wishing to complain about something.

Zaphod approaches the front desk and asks to speak to Mr. Zarniwoop, the editor of the Guide. The receptionist responds that Zarniwoop is “on an intergalactic cruise” while also being in his office (38). Playing into his celebrity, Zaphod gains access to the building and approaches the elevators.

Marvin then approaches the same reception desk and asks about Zaphod. He’s directed to the elevators, where Zaphod and Marvin try to argue with the elevator, a Happy Vertical People Transporter designed by the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. This particular brand of self-aware “existential” elevators doesn’t like to go up. Marvin must intervene and convince the elevator to go up.

As Zaphod and Marvin exit the elevator, a wave of spaceships attacks the building. An unknown man calls to Zaphod. When Zaphod follows him, the man explains that Frogstar Fighters are attacking the building to capture Zaphod. As the man leads Zaphod to Zarniwoop’s office, Marvin is left behind to stop the attackers.