“‘I love you, you know.’ 

Adam’s eyes went wide and alert, and his mouth fell open. […] 

Then Adam laughed. ‘Come on,’ he said. ‘We’re not like that.’”

This exchange from a 2007 flashback pinpoints the central trauma that severed Riley and Adam’s relationship. Riley’s profession of love represents his vulnerable attempt to move their connection beyond secrecy and physicality, while Adam’s laughter functions as a brutal and dismissive rejection. Adam’s flippant response is rooted in his own fear and internalized antigay bias, illustrating the theme of The Conflict Between Public Persona and Private Identity; his inability to acknowledge his feelings leads directly to Riley’s devastation and their eventual estrangement.

“There was one of Riley and Adam hugging after a goal Adam had scored, Adam smiling and Riley yelling in his ear, arms wrapped around him tight. They’d been playing together for five seasons when that photo was taken, and they’d been fucking for two of them.”

While alone in Tuck’s Sporting Goods, his family’s store, Riley contemplates a photograph that captures the duality of his relationship with Adam. The image depicts a moment of public, professional triumph, but Riley’s private narration juxtaposes this with the secret reality of their physical intimacy. This contrast between Riley and Adam’s public performance as teammates and the private life they concealed exposes the fundamental conflict between their permissible on-ice connection and their forbidden off-ice one.

“Adam had hurt him deeply and repeatedly. Riley had barely survived the pain, and that wasn't an exaggeration. After Riley went to Dallas, Adam had broken more records, raised his kids, and loved his beautiful wife. During that same time, Riley’s life had been mostly undiagnosed depression, alcohol, sleeping pills, and weighing the pros and cons of ending it all.”

This passage provides a stark summary of the consequences of Adam’s rejection and Riley’s subsequent departure from the NHL, contrasting Adam’s seemingly idyllic married life as a successful athlete with Riley’s emotional distress. The list—“depression, alcohol, sleeping pills, and weighing the pros and cons”—creates a cascading effect that emphasizes the overwhelming nature of Riley’s mental health crisis. The author uses this interior reflection to contrast Riley’s private suffering with his public image as a “wasted talent,” directly addressing the severe personal cost of suppressing his identity and grief.

“‘Maybe,’ Riley said, ‘you thought I’d want to escape my problems by sucking your dick for a bit, hm? […] Nah,’ Riley said. ‘Of course you don’t want that. You’re too sober, right?’”

In a volatile confrontation with Adam, Riley weaponizes their past dynamic, where intimacy was dependent on alcohol and defined by shame. His taunt is a direct accusation, exposing his long-held pain and resentment over being treated as a drunken convenience rather than a partner. By linking their past sexual encounters directly to a lack of sobriety, Riley reveals how illegitimate and conditional Adam made their connection feel, a product of diminished inhibitions rather than genuine desire.

“‘I could have helped you,’ Adam said desperately. ‘Whatever you were going through, I could have helped.’ 

‘You were what I was going through!’”

In this exchange, Riley and Adam’s dialogue reveals the fundamental disconnect that defined their past and continues to fuel their present conflict. Adam’s line demonstrates his obliviousness to the emotional damage he caused, framing Riley’s breakdown as an external event he was excluded from. Riley’s retort serves as a critical confession, identifying Adam’s actions as the central trauma itself, thus reframing his departure from hockey as an act of self-preservation. Here, the characters start Reckoning With the Past to Earn a Second Chance.

“He and Riley had never gone more than one round in one night. They weren’t like that. Maybe tonight could be like that. Maybe tonight could be…different. It was a scary thing to want, but Adam fucking wanted it.”

Adam’s internal monologue during a flashback to the bonfire he and Riley shared on the beach exposes his burgeoning desire for a deeper, more authentic connection with Riley. The repetition of the “they weren’t like that” phrase establishes the restrictive, unspoken rules that governed their secret encounters, while the hesitant shift to “maybe tonight could be…different” marks a pivotal moment of emotional awakening for him. The passage uses the bonfire on the beach as a symbol of freedom, where a more genuine intimacy feels possible.

“Bad things, yeah. But the good things are maybe the worst of it.”

Riley offers this paradoxical statement to his friends Darren and Tom while explaining his history with Adam, revealing the complex nature of his relationship trauma. The line suggests that his pain stems from both Adam’s cruelty and from his memories of a genuine connection with Adam, which made his subsequent betrayals more devastating. By positioning the “good things” as the “worst of it,” Riley conveys how the sweetness of their past love is what makes its loss so painful.

“Despite his damp eyes, Adam’s voice was steady when he said, ‘This was a mistake. And it never happened, okay?’”

Following Riley and Adam’s sexual encounter after the Stanley Cup win, Adam delivers this dismissive line, effectively causing his and Riley’s 12-year estrangement. Adam’s directive to erase their shared history—“it never happened”—is an act of psychological violence, invalidating Riley’s love and their entire relationship. At the same time, the contrast between his emotional turmoil (“damp eyes”) and his firm denial (“steady voice”) highlights Adam’s internal conflict, characterizing his fear and internalized antigay bias as forces powerful enough to sever his deepest connection.

“‘I’m gay.’ Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the way grief had fucked up Riley’s brain, or maybe it was the surrealness of hearing Adam say those words after so many years, but Riley started laughing.”

Adam’s long-awaited confession is met with an unexpected and psychologically revealing reaction from Riley. Instead of anger or relief, Riley’s laughter is presented as a complex symptom of his emotional state, triggered by grief, trauma, and overwhelming irony. This response subverts conventional dramatic expectations, using an involuntary physical reaction to demonstrate Riley’s emotional dysregulation and the sheer psychic weight of hearing a truth he once desperately needed.

“The thing with Adam is that I was in love with him for years.”

In a rare moment of vulnerability, Riley makes a direct confession to his sister Lindsay, revealing the long-held secret at the heart of his trauma. The simple, declarative sentence contrasts with the complex emotions he displayed in the wake of cutting Adam out, experiencing depression, and leaving the NHL, underscoring the depth and duration of his pain. At the same time, Riley‘s willingness to speak about his and Adam’s fraught, secret past with Lindsay conveys his desire to reinvent their dynamic. The moment furthers the theme of reckoning with the past to earn a second chance.

“It kills me to think you threw everything away because of a stupid decision I made when I was drunk.”

Adam’s statement reveals his significant, yet incomplete, understanding of his and Riley’s past, framing Riley’s life-altering decision to leave the NHL as a reaction to a single “stupid decision.” The phrase “threw everything away” minimizes the years of emotional turmoil Riley experienced, demonstrating Adam’s limited perspective at this point in the narrative. At the same time, Adam’s misguided attempt at broaching what happened 12 years prior sets the stage for a more honest reckoning with the past to earn a second chance.

“I was stupid, okay? I was awful and selfish, but you have to know I was in love with you too. Of course I was.”

Adam’s confession of love marks a pivotal moment in his and Riley’s evolving, second-chance romance. Here, Adam admits to having loved Riley all along, effectively reframing their shared history from one of unrequited love to one of mutual, unacknowledged fear. The qualifier “of course I was” suggests Adam now sees their love as an obvious truth, a revelation that is both devastating and healing for Riley. This line functions as the climax of their emotional conflict, dismantling years of misunderstanding and creating the possibility for genuine reconciliation.

“Riley, I want to kiss you. I want to do so many things with you, but not like this. […] I want to do this right. I want to earn it, and I won’t take advantage of you.”

Adam’s refusal to repeat past mistakes demonstrates a crucial shift in his character. Although he and Riley have the opportunity for sexual intimacy in this scene, Adam prioritizes Riley’s emotional well-being over his own physical desire. The dialogue distinguishes between want and responsibility (“not like this”), directly contrasting the lovers’ present relationship with their youthful, destructive encounters. By stating his intention to “earn it,” Adam signals a new foundation for their relationship based on respect and patience, embodying the theme of reckoning with the past to earn a second chance.

“‘Wouldn’t have been fun without you, Riles.’ And that was when Riley fell the rest of the way in love with him.”

This passage combines a line of Adam’s dialogue with a direct narrative statement about Riley’s emotional experience, granting the reader access to a formative moment in Riley’s internal landscape. The line “And that was when Riley fell the rest of the way in love with him” marks the transition of his feelings from a crush to a profound, life-altering love for Adam. The moment also conveys the purity and simplicity of Riley’s desires: He falls for Adam when Adam admits he wants to be around him. Riley feels loved when Adam shows appreciation for his company.

“He glanced at Adam to see if he might be having similar thoughts, but Adam was inspecting a cluster of framed photos on the wall over the fireplace. One was of Adam handing Riley the Stanley Cup, both men looking young and jubilant and sweaty. They were both in profile, smiling at each other like nothing bad had ever happened to them, or ever would.”

This moment uses dramatic irony to highlight the theme of reckoning with the past to earn a second chance. The photograph of Adam and Riley captures a moment of pure triumph, yet the narrator’s observation that they look like “nothing bad had ever happened to them, or ever would” underscores the weight of their subsequent 12-year estrangement. The image symbolizes their shared history and the profound professional and personal connection they lost.

“‘But, if what you’re really asking is if I’m gay,’ Adam said, then pointed to Jackson’s T-shirt. ‘Yes. I am.’”

In this pivotal scene, Adam publicly claims his identity for the first time, directly addressing the theme of the conflict between public persona and private identity. His gesture toward Riley‘s friend Jackson’s T-shirt is a symbolic device that bridges the gap between who he has been and who he is becoming. By coming out to Riley’s chosen family, Adam demonstrates a new courage and willingness to be vulnerable, a crucial step in earning back Riley’s trust.

“This time, they connected, soft and careful, like they were doing something dangerous. Then Riley’s fingers dug into Adam’s hip as he angled his head and kissed Adam like he meant it. […] No one had ever kissed Adam the way Riley always had, with this fierce desire mixed with wonder.”

This intimate scene between Adam and Riley marks the transition from their former shame-filled encounters to their new, intentional intimacy. The simile “like they were doing something dangerous” evokes the secrecy and risk that once defined their relationship, but the carefulness of their kiss signals a mature, sober departure from that history. The narration contrasts the recklessness of their youth with the deliberate tenderness of their present, establishing this moment as the foundation of their second chance.

“‘I also want you to know that I love your son.’ He glanced up at the sky, then back at the tiny temporary grave marker poking through the flowers. […] ‘I made a lot of mistakes with him, but I’ve been trying to fix them. I want to deserve him.’”

Speaking to Harvey Tuck’s grave, Adam delivers a confession that reveals his profound transformation and his commitment to atonement. This symbolic act validates the theme of Grief as a Catalyst for Connection and Change, as Adam seeks a blessing not just from Riley’s father but from the past itself. Adam’s declaration that he wants to “deserve” Riley explicitly conveys his understanding that their future depends on his accountability for his past actions.

“‘I just think it’s…safer if we don’t make promises right now.’ A small, sad smile twisted his lips. ‘But thank you.’”

Adam’s departure from Avery River forces Adam and Ryan to discuss their undefined future. Riley’s response to Adam’s earnestness to be together without hurting each other demonstrates significant character development; he is prioritizing his mental health and his slow grieving process over immediate romantic gratification. His hesitation introduces a note of realism, showing that his and Adam’s reconciliation cannot erase years of trauma or the immediate pain of his father’s death. This moment underscores the novel’s argument that a true second chance requires patience and a conscious effort to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past.

“‘You do, though,’ Lucy said. ‘You’ve been, like, really depressing since the divorce. […] You were always busy when you played hockey, but now you’re just, like, this bored, lonely guy.’”

In Adam’s dialogue with his children, Adam’s daughter Lucy punctures his carefully maintained public image and challenges him to reexamine his personal life, directly addressing the theme of the conflict between public persona and private identity. Lucy’s blunt assessment serves as an unfiltered mirror, revealing the emotional cost of Adam’s closeted life and the hollowness of his identity without the structure of professional hockey. This conversation catalyzes Adam’s realization that he needs to build a more authentic life to achieve genuine happiness.

“He laid the flowers next to the marker and noticed the moon snail shell that someone had placed there. […] Adam had been here. […] 

‘I still love him,’ he told his dad. ‘And I think we have a chance to be happy together. Like, really fucking happy.’”

This moment at his father’s grave marks a pivotal turning point for Riley, connecting directly to the theme of grief as a catalyst for connection and change. The moon snail shell Adam left functions as a symbol of quiet, sincere care that breaks through Riley’s remaining defenses. Speaking aloud to his deceased father, Riley permits himself to hope, framing his second chance with Adam as a future his father would have blessed.

“‘But I have to warn you,’ Riley said gravely, ‘once you put that on, you are officially super gay.’”

Riley’s gift of a floral silk robe and his playful warning use symbolism to mark a key moment in Adam’s character arc. The robe represents an identity Adam is finally embracing—one that is soft, vibrant, and authentic, contrasting with the drab, uniform-like wardrobe of his past. Adam’s willing acceptance of the robe signifies his liberation from the restrictive masculinity that defined his public persona.

“‘I want to be with you. I want everyone to know I’m with you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.’ He hesitated. ‘Was that too much? Fuck it, I don’t care. I love you, Riley. I’ve always loved you so much, but I’m finally able to love you the way you deserve. I’m sorry it took so long.’”

Adam’s confession culminates the novel’s central argument about reckoning with the past to earn a second chance. The use of anaphora—the  “I want” phrase repeating throughout the passage—emphasizes the depth of Adam’s certainty after years of ambiguity and fear. His declaration is not just a profession of love but an explicit acknowledgment of his past failures and a promise to love Riley openly, with the phrasing “the way you deserve” signaling his profound character growth.