Kevin Armstrong rapes Eden in her bedroom during a sleepover at her family home.

Eden's mother finds bloodied sheets the next morning and assumes Eden got her period, unknowingly destroying the evidence.

Eden sits at the family breakfast table next to Kevin while her parents and Caelin suspect nothing.

After being bullied in the cafeteria, Eden runs to the school library where Miss Sullivan proposes forming a student book club.

Eden launches the Lunch-Break Book Club with Mara, Stephen, and Cameron to avoid the cafeteria bullies.

Eden reinvents her appearance at the start of sophomore year and begins going by 'Eden' instead of 'Edy.'

Amanda, Kevin's sister, writes 'Eden McCrorey is a whore' on the school bathroom walls.

Eden agrees to go on a first date with Josh Miller, and they share their first kiss at his house.

Josh whispers that he loves Eden for the first time while she pretends to be asleep beside him.

Mara's 'Happy 15th Birthday' banner reveals Eden's true age to Josh, who confronts her furiously in the boys' bathroom.

Kevin returns home from college on break and gropes Eden from behind in her family kitchen.

Eden has casual sex with Troy's older brother at a college party and feels a rush of escapism for the first time.

Kevin is arrested after his ex-girlfriend at college reports him for rape.

Eden writes the word 'RAPED' on an IHOP placemat and slides it across the table to Josh, revealing her secret.

Caelin drives Eden to the police station, where she reports Kevin's assault to Detective Dodgson.

The main plot of The Way I Used to Be begins with Eden being raped by Kevin, her older brother's best friend, in her own bedroom during a family sleepover. The evidence is immediately erased when Eden's mother mistakes the bloodied sheets for menstruation, cementing Eden's silence before it even begins. Over four years of high school, Eden transforms herself—changing her name, appearance, and behavior—as she copes with untreated trauma and growing isolation from her family and friends. Her relationship with Josh Miller offers a rare glimpse of genuine connection before collapsing when he discovers she lied about her age. After Kevin is arrested for assaulting another girl at college, Eden finally breaks her years-long silence, first confiding in Josh and then walking into a police station to report the rape herself.

Eden sits alone on the backyard swing set the morning after the rape and decides against telling Caelin.

Eden considers calling Mara that night to share what happened but instead cries herself to sleep.

Stephen Reiser visits Eden's home for a school history project and is invited to join the new book club.

Mara announces she is quitting band and dyeing her hair red, and she and Eden smoke cigarettes together for the first time.

Eden demands contact lenses, announces she is quitting band, and has her first explosive screaming outburst at her parents.

Eden meets Josh Miller in study hall and is surprised when the boy who once knocked her down flirtatiously saves her a seat.

Josh tracks Eden down in the school library stacks after a week of her avoiding him and directly asks her out.

Eden storms out of Josh's bedroom immediately after their first sexual encounter together, leaving him completely bewildered.

After a fight with her mother, Eden walks to Josh's house in tears and they both open up about their families for the first time.

Caelin beats up Josh at a New Year's Eve party after hearing rumors about Eden's relationship with him.

Eden returns to school after winter break and sees Josh in the hallway with a new girlfriend on his arm.

Eden and Mara buy underage beer from a gas station attendant on one of the final nights of summer.

Eden and Mara celebrate Mara's birthday at a childhood playground at night, meeting Troy and Alex and smoking marijuana for the first time.

Mara gets a nose ring at the body art shop where Cameron works, hugging him joyfully when it is done.

Caelin walks in on Eden attempting to hook up with a stranger in a girl's dormitory room at a Thanksgiving college party.

While Eden's rape defines her inner life, her high school experience is visibly shaped by the people around her and the choices they make together. From the morning after the assault when she walks alone to the backyard swing set, unable to tell Mara or Caelin, Eden's emotional isolation deepens year by year. Her relationship with Josh unfolds through small, tender moments—being found in the library stacks, late-night conversations about their families—before unraveling entirely. Eden and Mara's rebellion expands from shared cigarettes in a bedroom window to underage beer runs and late-night playground meetups with stoner strangers named Troy and Alex. By senior year, Eden's choices reach a breaking point when her own brother walks in on her at a Thanksgiving college party, confronting how far she has fallen.

The friendships, relationships, and rebellions that shaped Eden's high school years.

Caelin dismisses Eden's visible distress the morning after the rape as a silly schoolgirl crush on Kevin.

Walking past Kevin's family house with Mara on the way home from school, Eden is overcome with physical weakness and fear.

Cameron attends the inaugural book club meeting and attempts to take over book selection, immediately clashing with Eden.

Eden accepts Miss Sullivan's offer to volunteer in the school library, using it as a personal sanctuary from school life.

Josh earnestly asks Eden to be his official girlfriend, and she refuses to make their relationship exclusive.

Eden dissociates completely during her first consensual sexual experience with Josh, staring at a crack in the ceiling.

When Josh asks Eden to share a secret, she lies and gives him a false middle name, unable to be truly open.

Caelin accuses Eden of embarrassing the family after hearing rumors, and Eden angrily implies she slept with Josh.

Eden and Mara arrive at Troy's party only to discover it is a college event, and Troy's older brother dismisses them as silly little girls.

Eden admits to Mara over late-night breakfast at a diner that she regularly sleeps with strangers at parties.

Mara forgets Eden's birthday entirely and then accuses Eden of being impossible to be around and dragging everyone down.

Eden physically attacks Amanda's friend in study hall for implying that Eden willingly had sex with Kevin.

Eden lies awake alone at night, looking at her freshman yearbook photo, and contemplates whether she wants to keep living.

A police detective arrives at Eden's family home to interview them about Kevin, and Eden faints during the private questioning.

Eden tells Caelin that Kevin raped her, and Caelin collapses in devastation, overturning his dresser in his bedroom.

Pool 3 traces the quiet but irreversible turning points that shape Eden's inner life across four years of high school. From Caelin's dismissal of her pain the morning after the rape to her physical fear walking past Kevin's house, Eden's silence calcifies into a survival strategy that slowly destroys her. Her relationship with Josh is defined by emotional paralysis—she cannot accept his love, agree to be his girlfriend, or even share a true secret when he asks. As she spirals into casual sex, substance use, and total isolation, small crises accumulate: a forgotten birthday, a violent confrontation in study hall, and dark late-night thoughts about not surviving. The turning point finally arrives when a police detective's visit and a raw, shattering confession to her brother crack open the truth Eden has buried for nearly four years.

The key decisions, revelations, and emotional shifts that defined Eden's transformation.

Amber Smith

Novel

Fiction

Guide