The “Nice Girl” overcompensates by giving everything to a man she barely knows without requiring much investment from him. Fashion magazines encourage this behavior with advice like cooking elaborate meals early in a relationship. However, the author argues that anything a person chases will run away. When a woman overcompensates, she appears desperate or overly eager, causing men to lose respect and desire.

The “Dreamgirl” does not overcompensate. She serves simple food like popcorn initially. After the man invests time, he appreciates even basic meals as special, feeling like a king. According to Argov, the women who men pursue most intensely often appear not to care that much. This is not about manipulation but showing that a woman can maintain her independence and hold her own.

Here, “mental challenge” relates to whether you expect respect and are not afraid to be without him, not conversational intelligence. The nice girl is always available, giving the man a “100 percent hold” (5) on her. The “bitch” is selectively available, preventing this dynamic. For example, driving to see a man late at night is like having a neon “WE DELIVER” sign. The chapter argues that a woman who shows she does not need a relationship maintains a sense of challenge and independence in the relationship.

Men sometimes do not call because, according to the author, they want to gauge a woman’s reaction and determine how much control they have in the relationship. Emotional responses make a woman easier to read, whereas staying composed keeps her unpredictable. The nice girl puts herself down or asks where the relationship is going. The “bitch” maintains dignity, does not chase, and shows confidence in herself.

The chapter argues that a woman’s attitude about herself shapes how a man perceives her. Acting like a prize turns him into a believer. When another attractive woman enters, the chapter advises women not to appear threatened, presenting confidence as more attractive than competition or insecurity. Samantha, a friend of the author, remained unbothered by a scantily clad ring girl at a boxing match, making her date more enamored of her.

The chapter concludes by summarizing the traits of this “bitch,” presented as a term of endearment. The chapter describes her as polite but clear, communicative directly, maintaining independence, avoiding pursuing men, remaining mysterious, leaving him wanting more, controlling her time, maintaining a sense of humor, valuing herself highly, pursuing interests beyond the relationship, and taking pride in her appearance and health.

According to the chapter, men enjoy the thrill of the chase and are highly competitive. The author contrasts this with women who, within her framework, are often portrayed as prioritizing commitment. When obtaining a woman becomes too easy, men are portrayed as losing interest, similar to leaving a blackjack table after an immediate big win. A slow, uncertain win keeps them engaged. The hunting analogy applies: A man treasures the moose he hunts but would ignore a dead moose delivered to his doorstep, which the chapter compares to a woman chasing a man.

Four scenarios contrast the nice girl and the “bitch”: when he calls expecting her at home, when his call is late, when he seems withdrawn, and when he keeps her waiting. The “bitch’s” behavior demonstrates that she will not abandon her life to accommodate him.

Men use phrases like “I like to be spontaneous” (31) to pressure accessibility. A comparative chart distinguishes between a man who genuinely adores a woman and one treating her as a backup. The author illustrates this dynamic through a woman named Crystal, who received a late-night booty call from a man named Brett after two weeks of silence. She agreed to come, asked him to wait outside in the rain, then never showed up, leaving him waiting for hours.

The “bitch” establishes conditions: He must book in advance, she will not see him when exhausted, and she will end dates immediately if uncomfortable. Having terms and conditions, according to the chapter, indicates having options.

The “Mama/Ho Complex” explains how men in the chapter’s framework categorize women. The chapter contrasts “safe” and overly accommodating behavior with more unpredictable behavior, which it presents as more exciting and attractive. Four motherly behaviors turn men off: appearing to check up on him, expecting all his free time, asking him to account for his whereabouts, and being overly doting. These behaviors can trigger teenage-like rebellion. If a woman smothers him, the chapter argues that he will seek escape routes to protect his freedom.

The “No Cage Rule” (42) addresses men’s fear of losing freedom. A “bitch” gives space, preventing him from feeling trapped. According to the chapter, this makes him less guarded and more likely to pursue her more seriously. Nancy, a grad student, told a classmate she wanted to keep things professional during their class, which intensified his pursuit. Telling a man you are not interested in something “too serious” is presented as a way to reduce his fear of commitment while maintaining his interest.

Men want women with minds of their own. They fall in love when they feel they have met their match. The author illustrates this through a woman named Anna, alarmed at the prospect of live lobsters being boiled alive, who insisted that her date change the order, and he called her repeatedly afterward. Men watch to see if women will be too emotionally dependent. A “bitch’s” independence makes her more like an equal partner rather than a burden.

The “candy store” theory holds that women should reveal sexuality gradually, “one jujube at a time” (53). When men must wait before sex, the chapter argues that they perceive women as more beautiful and appreciate who they are. According to the author, men often categorize women as either “good time only” or “worthwhile” (55). The “bitch” demands “worthwhile” treatment by revealing sexuality slowly.

Brad, a recent graduate, distinguished between women who try to be sexy and those who naturally are, finding the latter more attractive and serious. A comparative chart contrasts “good time only” and “worthwhile” women (55). The former talks excessively about sex early on and wears overly revealing clothing, while the latter flirts subtly using body language and shows only one physical attribute.

Women should wait at least a month before sex to learn about the man and ensure he develops habits of effort and respect. The chapter emphasizes that sex and the spark are not identical. Men value women they must win over sexually, often judging promiscuity by how quickly sex occurs. Brittany, a pharmacist, slept with a man she liked, and he immediately asked whether she did this with “all the guys” (59).

Before sex, the chapter claims that men think unclearly while women think clearly; after sex, this reverses. Making him wait causes him to care about details of who she is. Nathan, 25, explained that men enjoy the game and feel disappointed when it ends too quickly. The “three-date rule” (61)—abandoning pursuit if sex does not occur by the third date—is presented as the mindset of men interested only in casual sex rather than commitment. Men intuitively sense whether sexuality comes from security or neediness.

Sexual signals must remain clear: red means no, green means go, and yellow means a woman is perceived as a tease. Pulling back at the last minute causes a man to perceive her that way. Guidelines for delaying sex without teasing include avoiding being alone at his place late at night, doing daytime activities, and never inviting him in late at night. The author describes a friend named Pam who invited a man in for hot chocolate while wearing flannel pajamas, believing this would appear conservative and nonsexual, but the chapter argues that bedroom attire signals availability to men.

Competing with other women is presented as a mistake. Women face pressure to perform sexually according to unrealistic standards. The “bitch” is honest about what she wants rather than faking pleasure. According to the chapter, a man’s ego is primarily fed by a woman’s genuine satisfaction. The “bitch” deflects questions about sexual history rather than giving specific numbers. When the topic of other women arises, she conveys that if another woman can steal her man, she would not want him anyway. The chapter concludes that an undeniable spark leads to exclusivity, and a woman should trust him until he gives a reason not to.