You Go First

Ben practices his speech for his mom, who says it’s perfect. This annoys Ben because he knows it’s not perfect, so he pesters her for honest feedback. She says he could make his hand gestures more natural. She reminds him to hydrate and not eat too big of a breakfast the day of the speech.

Charlotte gets Vans with long laces as well, but at lunch, she trips over them and falls, dropping her food. Tori (the spelling bee girl) and Milo (one of the boys Bridget now thinks is cute) call her a nerd and loser and clap. A girl named Isabelle tells Charlotte that no one likes her. Nobody offers to help her or asks if she’s okay. Charlotte decides if she ever sees someone fall, she’ll ask if they’re okay.

Charlotte leaves her food and walks away from the bullies. She climbs a ladder to the roof, where she’s never been before. On an air conditioner, someone has written “IN THREE WORDS I CAN SUM UP EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT LIFE: _____ _____ _____” (183), but Charlotte doesn’t know who wrote this or what it means.

Magda suddenly appears; she eats lunch on the roof each day. She says she wants to live in a penthouse one day so she can watch things and people from above, which changes her perspective. Charlotte says she also likes the view from the roof. Magda talks about Emily Dickinson, and Charlotte notes that she knows a lot about poetry. Magda uses her app to identify a leaf. Charlotte says her dad would like that app, and Magda reveals that he told her about it. Charlotte feels bad for not talking to her dad about plants more.

Ben’s chin is bleeding because Theo tripped him on the pavement in front of Sherry and Derrick. Nobody offers to help him up or seems to care. Ben goes to the attendance office, where Mrs. Carlile and Wyatt help Ben clean and bandage his cut. Ben asks if he can spend his lunches in the office as Wyatt does, but Mrs. Carlile says Wyatt is a special case. However, she allows Ben to stay there today. Wyatt and Ben discover that they both like to ask questions that expose illogical things, such as “‘Why are you in a movie, but on TV?’” (192). Ben has fun trading questions back and forth with Wyatt and wishes he could stay in the office every day and avoid the cafeteria.

Charlotte asks Magda if she wants to be lab partners for the starfish dissection the following day. The teacher says starfish don’t have brains but still interact with the environment. Tori and Isabelle say Charlotte doesn’t have a brain either. Magda asks if starfish can feel pain, and the teacher says they can, but they’ll be dissecting dead starfish. Isabelle and Tori make fun of Magda, but Charlotte thinks her question is good.

Ben’s dad cooks spaghetti at home, which annoys Ben because he is acting like things are the same even though he’s moving out soon. His dad offers to help him with his speech and opening joke, but Ben rejects the help. Ben tells his parents that his chin is hurt because he fell, but he doesn’t tell them Theo tripped him. Ben is mad at his dad because he assumes the divorce is his “fault.” He retreats into his bedroom.

Ben calls Lottie and says he can’t play basketball. Charlotte can’t, either. Charlotte wants to exchange lives with another person, but she doesn’t tell Ben this. She has created a whole persona for Lottie, whom she imagines is pretty, happy, funny, social, and perfect. She never gets bullied and never eats lunch alone.

Charlotte tells Ben she’s going to skip school the following day. She no longer wants to dissect a starfish and would rather go to the art museum in Philadelphia. She looks up train schedules and has enough money for museum admission, a train ticket, and a cab. She was saving to buy a fossil, but she no longer wants it. Charlotte wishes Ben luck on his speech. She throws her lucky rock, Sphinx, out her window.

Ben doesn’t want his parents entering his room for fear that they’ll mess up the “stasis,” but his dad looks sad, so Ben invites him in to talk. The spaghetti smells good, but Ben is determined not to eat any. His dad asks Ben to speak his mind. Ben imagines the questions he’d like to ask, like why his parents couldn’t make their marriage work if they’re brilliant scientists and whether the divorce is his fault. However, he doesn’t say any of this out loud. His dad says he can ask questions when he’s ready.

Charlotte can’t sleep, so she gets a snack from the kitchen and goes into the backyard. She wants to run away but knows she can’t run away from herself, so it would be pointless. Magda’s older brother, Mateo, comes outside to exercise. Charlotte keeps quiet so he won’t see her. She waits until Mateo goes back inside, then starts moving toward her own door.

Mateo comes back out and asks Charlotte if other kids bully Magda. Charlotte wants to say “no,” but she knows the answer is “yes,” so she admits that lots of kids think Magda is weird and call her “Mad Magda.” Mateo says Magda is weird but in a good way—for example, one time she got bitten by ants, and their mom was going to poison them, but Magda protested because the ants were just scared for their own lives.