As the scientifically-minded narrator of the urban pastoral, the speaker catalogs the events and sights of an English city during a heavy rain. He acts as a cynical, materialist guide who notes the raw, physical realities of city life. Eventually, he becomes a victim of the weather himself when a mixture of rain and dust stains his only coat.

The careless quean is a working-class woman who continues her chores as the rain begins. She flings dirty mop water onto passersby, ignoring their complaints and curses. She sings and continues her work, unbothered by the disruption she causes.

Dulman is a patron at a local coffeehouse who experiences the physical and psychological effects of the impending rain. Relying on ancient medical theories of humorism, he blames the changing weather for his melancholy and depressed spleen.

Brisk Susan is a maid who reacts quickly to the first signs of the coming shower. Her swift, practical action to save her linen shows the physical reality of the rain disrupting daily chores.

The beau is an impatient lover seeking shelter from the heavy rain inside a hired chair. The poem satirically compares his frantic, boxed-in state to the Greek warriors hiding inside the Trojan Horse. This comparison reveals the absurdity of city dwellers attempting to escape the elements.

The templar is a spruce law student caught in the heavy rain. He tries to wait out the storm under an awning, giving the false impression that he is actively calling for a hired coach to maintain his dignity.

The sempstress is a working woman attempting to navigate the flooded city streets. She carries an oiled umbrella that fails to fully protect her, as streams of water run down its sides during her hasty walk.