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Plot Summary
Thirteen-year-old Fallon Little has a large scar running diagonally across her face, from above her left eyebrow to the edge of her upper lip. She compares it to a blackwater river her family once visited in South Carolina, where treasures lay hidden beneath dark water. Beneath Fallon's scar lie three secrets ranked by magnitude: her third-biggest, her second-biggest, and her first-biggest.
The novel opens in early January when Fallon comes home from auditions for the school musical, Hello, Dolly! Her mother, Holly, a former dental hygienist debilitated by an undiagnosed chronic illness, is unusually alert on the couch. A phone call from Holly's sister, Claire, whom Fallon calls Aunt Lune, delivers devastating news: Their brother, Geebie, has died in a car accident. Fallon retreats to her bedroom and sits against the door for two hours without noticing, then bikes to visit her best friend, Trent Zimmerman, insisting she is fine.
In a flashback, Fallon reveals her third-biggest secret. At age five, on New Year's Eve morning, she found Uncle Geebie in her backyard, slumped on a swing with a knife in his lap. When he noticed her, he lunged and slashed her face. Fallon told everyone she could not remember what happened, shielding Geebie to protect her mother and fearing no one would believe her.
Fallon learns she has been cast not in the supporting role she wanted but as the lead, Dolly Levi. She had wanted to play Irene, a character who wears enormous hats in every scene, because there is a lot a person can hide underneath a hat brim. She confronts the drama teacher, Mr. Castiglioni, suspecting he cast her out of pity, but he insists she earned the role through talent.
Trent encourages Fallon to speak at Geebie's funeral and reveal the truth. At the podium, however, blinking Christmas lights visible through the window overwhelm her: She is simultaneously at the podium and back in Geebie's house at Christmas as a five-year-old. She vomits and flees to the bathroom, where Trent and her friend Kaia Kelly, whom Fallon met at theater camp, comfort her.
After the funeral, Fallon tears blinking Christmas lights off a neighbor's fence in a surge of panic. Her parents suggest therapy and announce that Aunt Claire will move in for three months while Holly is sick and Fallon's father, a police officer finishing his degree at community college, is stretched thin. Fallon is horrified. Her hostility toward Claire runs deeper than friction, anchored to a phrase that surfaces whenever Claire asserts authority: "You're fine, Fallon. Nothing happened. Go back to sleep" (75).
At her first session at the Cedar Haven Community Therapy Collective, Fallon spots Stella Brymner, a popular eighth grader she has long distrusted. Over the following weeks, Stella approaches Fallon after Fallon disrupts a rehearsal by arguing that Dolly manipulates everyone without their consent. Stella urges Fallon to write an op-ed arguing the play promotes gaslighting, a term for making people doubt their own perceptions. Stella shares her own experience of being pressured by a director on a commercial shoot and fired when she refused. Fallon inadvertently signals that something similar happened to her, and Stella invites her to SHASA (Survival and Healing After Sexual Assault), a group at the Collective.
Fallon writes the letter, but Aunt Claire, who works part-time at the local newspaper, refuses to publish it, dismissing Fallon's concerns. Her friendships fracture when she discovers Trent and Kaia have secretly started dating. Feeling left out, Fallon drifts toward Stella. They protest in the school parking lot instead of attending rehearsals and lose their roles to understudies. A community member obtains Fallon's op-ed and brings it to the school board, which votes to cancel the production, something Fallon never intended. Kaia is furious, and their friendship collapses.
At SHASA, Fallon begins to open up, telling the group that her aunt knew what happened to her and never told anyone. The group leader, Elise, responds: "I'm really, really sorry that happened to you, Fallon. That's awful" (250). Fallon feels a small but real shift, a tiny piece of long-carried weight finally lifted.
Claire publishes a newspaper article dismissing the students' concerns as overreaction. Enraged, Fallon searches Claire's old writing and finds an article under the pseudonym "Sharon Smith," titled "Things I Never Said." It describes a girl whose brother sexually abused her under the guise of secret "night games." The details match Geebie exactly. Fallon realizes "Sharon" is Claire. She confronts Claire, screaming that Geebie did the same thing to both of them and Claire knew. Holly overhears. Fallon locks herself in her room.
Part Three opens with Fallon's first-biggest secret. During two Christmas nights at Geebie's house when she was five, Geebie woke her, took her to his office, and sexually abused her, disguising it as a secret game. Afterward, Fallon crawled back to bed beside Claire and tried to tell her what happened. Claire responded: "You're fine, Fallon. Nothing happened. Go back to sleep" (75). This dismissal is Fallon's second-biggest secret, and the Christmas lights from Geebie's office became her lifelong trigger.
Holly comes to Fallon's room, holds her, and listens. Fallon tells her everything, including that Geebie was the one who gave her the scar. Holly tells Fallon none of it was her fault. In SHASA, Elise validates Fallon's rage at Claire but offers a tentative explanation: Survivors of childhood trauma sometimes deny what is happening to someone else because acknowledging it would mean facing their own abuse.
Claire returns for a conversation arranged by Holly. She apologizes, reveals she has started therapy, and discloses that after Fallon told her what happened that Christmas, Claire confronted Geebie and demanded he stop. She believes this confrontation is why he was in Fallon's backyard with the knife on New Year's Eve, that he attacked Fallon in retaliation. Fallon hugs her aunt and asks to call her "Aunt Claire" instead of "Lune," because Lune was Geebie's nickname for Claire, and Fallon no longer wants to use it.
Fallon rebuilds her friendships. She apologizes to Trent, admitting she felt left out and was not ready to share everything yet. Her father tells her the lesson is not to stay silent but to consider where the fire goes once she strikes the match. She apologizes to Kaia, and they reconcile when Fallon quotes Dolly's line: "It's no use arguing! I've made up your mind!" (355). Together they propose a replacement revue show.
During her weeks of isolation, Fallon discovers makeup artistry through online tutorials. She conceals her scar but finds it erases something essential about who she is. She shifts to creative work instead, eventually highlighting her scar in neon blue with gold flecks for a field trip, embracing it as part of her identity.
The Cedar Haven Middle School All-New Revue! opens to a packed audience. Fallon and Kaia perform an original skit with rapid-fire hat changes and silly voices. Holly, improving under the care of a new specialist Claire found, attends with the family. Near the end of the school year, Fallon teaches the bus a novelty song she learned from Uncle Geebie, choosing joy over the song's painful origin. In a final reflection, she notes that a memory, unlike a river's current, can be tilted toward the sun. She resolves to shape her own river, "tilting toward joy" (383).
The novel opens in early January when Fallon comes home from auditions for the school musical, Hello, Dolly! Her mother, Holly, a former dental hygienist debilitated by an undiagnosed chronic illness, is unusually alert on the couch. A phone call from Holly's sister, Claire, whom Fallon calls Aunt Lune, delivers devastating news: Their brother, Geebie, has died in a car accident. Fallon retreats to her bedroom and sits against the door for two hours without noticing, then bikes to visit her best friend, Trent Zimmerman, insisting she is fine.
In a flashback, Fallon reveals her third-biggest secret. At age five, on New Year's Eve morning, she found Uncle Geebie in her backyard, slumped on a swing with a knife in his lap. When he noticed her, he lunged and slashed her face. Fallon told everyone she could not remember what happened, shielding Geebie to protect her mother and fearing no one would believe her.
Fallon learns she has been cast not in the supporting role she wanted but as the lead, Dolly Levi. She had wanted to play Irene, a character who wears enormous hats in every scene, because there is a lot a person can hide underneath a hat brim. She confronts the drama teacher, Mr. Castiglioni, suspecting he cast her out of pity, but he insists she earned the role through talent.
Trent encourages Fallon to speak at Geebie's funeral and reveal the truth. At the podium, however, blinking Christmas lights visible through the window overwhelm her: She is simultaneously at the podium and back in Geebie's house at Christmas as a five-year-old. She vomits and flees to the bathroom, where Trent and her friend Kaia Kelly, whom Fallon met at theater camp, comfort her.
After the funeral, Fallon tears blinking Christmas lights off a neighbor's fence in a surge of panic. Her parents suggest therapy and announce that Aunt Claire will move in for three months while Holly is sick and Fallon's father, a police officer finishing his degree at community college, is stretched thin. Fallon is horrified. Her hostility toward Claire runs deeper than friction, anchored to a phrase that surfaces whenever Claire asserts authority: "You're fine, Fallon. Nothing happened. Go back to sleep" (75).
At her first session at the Cedar Haven Community Therapy Collective, Fallon spots Stella Brymner, a popular eighth grader she has long distrusted. Over the following weeks, Stella approaches Fallon after Fallon disrupts a rehearsal by arguing that Dolly manipulates everyone without their consent. Stella urges Fallon to write an op-ed arguing the play promotes gaslighting, a term for making people doubt their own perceptions. Stella shares her own experience of being pressured by a director on a commercial shoot and fired when she refused. Fallon inadvertently signals that something similar happened to her, and Stella invites her to SHASA (Survival and Healing After Sexual Assault), a group at the Collective.
Fallon writes the letter, but Aunt Claire, who works part-time at the local newspaper, refuses to publish it, dismissing Fallon's concerns. Her friendships fracture when she discovers Trent and Kaia have secretly started dating. Feeling left out, Fallon drifts toward Stella. They protest in the school parking lot instead of attending rehearsals and lose their roles to understudies. A community member obtains Fallon's op-ed and brings it to the school board, which votes to cancel the production, something Fallon never intended. Kaia is furious, and their friendship collapses.
At SHASA, Fallon begins to open up, telling the group that her aunt knew what happened to her and never told anyone. The group leader, Elise, responds: "I'm really, really sorry that happened to you, Fallon. That's awful" (250). Fallon feels a small but real shift, a tiny piece of long-carried weight finally lifted.
Claire publishes a newspaper article dismissing the students' concerns as overreaction. Enraged, Fallon searches Claire's old writing and finds an article under the pseudonym "Sharon Smith," titled "Things I Never Said." It describes a girl whose brother sexually abused her under the guise of secret "night games." The details match Geebie exactly. Fallon realizes "Sharon" is Claire. She confronts Claire, screaming that Geebie did the same thing to both of them and Claire knew. Holly overhears. Fallon locks herself in her room.
Part Three opens with Fallon's first-biggest secret. During two Christmas nights at Geebie's house when she was five, Geebie woke her, took her to his office, and sexually abused her, disguising it as a secret game. Afterward, Fallon crawled back to bed beside Claire and tried to tell her what happened. Claire responded: "You're fine, Fallon. Nothing happened. Go back to sleep" (75). This dismissal is Fallon's second-biggest secret, and the Christmas lights from Geebie's office became her lifelong trigger.
Holly comes to Fallon's room, holds her, and listens. Fallon tells her everything, including that Geebie was the one who gave her the scar. Holly tells Fallon none of it was her fault. In SHASA, Elise validates Fallon's rage at Claire but offers a tentative explanation: Survivors of childhood trauma sometimes deny what is happening to someone else because acknowledging it would mean facing their own abuse.
Claire returns for a conversation arranged by Holly. She apologizes, reveals she has started therapy, and discloses that after Fallon told her what happened that Christmas, Claire confronted Geebie and demanded he stop. She believes this confrontation is why he was in Fallon's backyard with the knife on New Year's Eve, that he attacked Fallon in retaliation. Fallon hugs her aunt and asks to call her "Aunt Claire" instead of "Lune," because Lune was Geebie's nickname for Claire, and Fallon no longer wants to use it.
Fallon rebuilds her friendships. She apologizes to Trent, admitting she felt left out and was not ready to share everything yet. Her father tells her the lesson is not to stay silent but to consider where the fire goes once she strikes the match. She apologizes to Kaia, and they reconcile when Fallon quotes Dolly's line: "It's no use arguing! I've made up your mind!" (355). Together they propose a replacement revue show.
During her weeks of isolation, Fallon discovers makeup artistry through online tutorials. She conceals her scar but finds it erases something essential about who she is. She shifts to creative work instead, eventually highlighting her scar in neon blue with gold flecks for a field trip, embracing it as part of her identity.
The Cedar Haven Middle School All-New Revue! opens to a packed audience. Fallon and Kaia perform an original skit with rapid-fire hat changes and silly voices. Holly, improving under the care of a new specialist Claire found, attends with the family. Near the end of the school year, Fallon teaches the bus a novelty song she learned from Uncle Geebie, choosing joy over the song's painful origin. In a final reflection, she notes that a memory, unlike a river's current, can be tilted toward the sun. She resolves to shape her own river, "tilting toward joy" (383).
