Ignatius is an overweight, slovenly 30-year-old who possesses a master's degree but vehemently avoids traditional employment. He lives with his mother in a cramped New Orleans home, spending his days writing lengthy indictments against the modern century in school-ruled notebooks. Driven by an inflated sense of superiority and medieval ideals, he views contemporary society with utter disdain.

Irene is a working-class Catholic widow struggling to support her 30-year-old unemployed son on a stretched pension. She frequently seeks solace in alcohol and the bakery, feeling overwhelmed by Ignatius's demanding nature. Although initially subservient to her son's bizarre lifestyle, she begins to crave a more normal social life and independence.

Burma Jones is a perceptive young Black man attempting to survive the systemic inequalities of 1960s New Orleans. Desperate to avoid further vagrancy charges, he takes an extremely low-paying job as a porter at the Night of Joy bar. Aware of his exploitation, he uses his sharp intellect to subtly undermine his employer while analyzing the economic traps around him.

Mancuso is an earnest, hard-working, but largely ineffective police patrolman. Constantly under pressure from his sergeant to make an arrest, he is forced into a series of increasingly ridiculous undercover costumes. Despite his dedication, he suffers from terrible luck and is easily taken advantage of by the more cunning residents of the city.

Myrna is a politically radical university student from New York, funded by her wealthy father. She frequently engages in progressive causes and views Ignatius as an ideological project in need of psychological and sexual therapy. Their relationship exists primarily through antagonistic but deeply connected letters.

Lana is the ruthless, authoritarian owner of the Night of Joy bar. She runs her establishment with an iron fist, watering down the drinks and underpaying her staff. Highly suspicious of the police, she conducts a shadowy secondary business using the bar as a front.

Darlene is a waitress at the Night of Joy who dreams of becoming an exotic dancer. She is somewhat naive but dedicated to her pet cockatoo, aiming to incorporate the bird into a southern-flavored striptease act to boost her profile at the bar.

Claude is an elderly man with a comfortable pension and several rental properties. He is highly suspicious of the government and quick to label people as communists. After a mix-up with the police, he becomes a fixture in Irene Reilly's social life.

George is an orphan and street-smart teenager who acts as a courier for Lana's illegal side business. He is cautious, constantly evading the police, and uses the city's transients and bustling areas to stay hidden.

Mr. Gonzalez is the dedicated, long-suffering office manager at the failing Levy Pants company. He attempts to keep the business running smoothly despite the absence of its owner and the sheer incompetence of his staff.

Miss Trixie is an octogenarian assistant accountant at Levy Pants who desperately wants to retire. Due to the owners' misguided charity, she is forced to keep working, resulting in a state of perpetual confusion and disarray.

Mr. Levy is the wealthy, detached owner of Levy Pants. He despises the family business, blaming his tyrannical father for ruining it, and prefers spending his time lounging at his comfortable home or pursuing leisure activities rather than managing the company.

Mrs. Levy is a wealthy, controlling woman who occupies her time with psychology correspondence courses. She uses the employees of Levy Pants, specifically Miss Trixie, as captive subjects for her amateur psychological theories, much to her husband's dismay.

Santa is Mancuso's boisterous aunt and a friend to Irene Reilly. She represents a lively, social alternative to the dreary life Irene leads with her son, frequently encouraging Irene to get out of the house and socialize.

Dorian is an elegant, flamboyant young man who operates in the city's underground homosexual community. He treats Ignatius as an amusing novelty rather than a serious intellectual, famously purchasing Irene's ridiculous hat for its camp value.

Dr. Talc is a disorganized university professor who is still traumatized by his former students, Ignatius and Myrna. He receives anonymous, insulting mail that continuously destabilizes his professional confidence.

Mr. Clyde is the frustrated owner of Paradise Vendors, Incorporated. He reluctantly hires Ignatius to push a hot dog cart to pay off a debt, constantly battling his new vendor's lack of hygiene and salesmanship.

Mr. Watson is the owner of Mattie's Ramble Inn, a combination bar and grocery in Carrollton. He provides a listening ear and practical advice to members of the local community.

Miss Annie is the long-suffering neighbor of the Reilly family. She is frequently disturbed by the loud arguments and bizarre noises coming from their home, causing her nerves to fray over time.