Denis is a 23-year-old aspiring poet and writer who visits the Crome estate for a summer holiday. He has published a collection of poetry and is currently attempting to write a novel about a socially awkward artist. Self-conscious and easily embarrassed, he struggles to align his philosophical ideas with his actual lived experiences, forcing himself to overanalyze simple social interactions. He harbors a deep, unrequited affection for Anne Wimbush.

Anne is the 27-year-old niece of Henry Wimbush and a resident of the Crome estate. She wears her light brown hair around an oval face and smiles with two small wrinkles that make her expression difficult to read. She rejects the philosophical agonizing of the men around her, asserting that Denis should get a regular job instead of worrying over existential questions. She advocates for her own autonomy and speaks openly about gender politics.

Mr. Scogan is a middle-aged school friend of Henry Wimbush who possesses a beaked nose, dry skin, and a bird-like appearance. He frequently ambushes other guests to deliver long monologues about art, society, and human nature. He champions artificiality and rationality, imagining a future Rational State where human reproduction is outsourced to incubators and society is strictly categorized by intelligence.

Mary is a nearly 23-year-old guest at Crome who wears her blond hair in a short, bell-like cut. She possesses a scientific approach to psychology and sexuality, reading Havelock Ellis and tracking her dreams to diagnose her own repressions. Despite her intellectual confidence regarding psychological theories, she struggles to successfully navigate actual romantic interactions.

Priscilla is the wife of Henry Wimbush and the eccentric hostess of Crome. She wears a masculine coiffure alongside elaborate silk dresses. Following significant gambling losses that forced her husband to sell off art, she now receives a strict allowance and spends her time studying horoscopes, astrology, and New Thought spiritualism.

Henry is the 50-year-old owner of the Crome estate. He possesses a serene face and spends his time excavating oaken drainpipes on the property. He has spent the last 25 years writing and printing a comprehensive history of his family, preferring the predictable nature of historical records over the messy realities of modern human interaction.

Gombauld is a 30-year-old painter of French descent staying at Crome. He uses an old granary on the estate as his art studio, working to combine natural forms with simple geometric abstractions after leaving his Cubist phase. He is physically robust and self-assured, frequently expressing irritation when his artistic process is interrupted or his romantic advances are rebuffed.

Ivor is a charismatic, 26-year-old guest who injects sudden energy into the quiet country house. He plays the piano, sketches spirit art, and sings Italian songs. He embraces a carefree approach to romance, arguing that constant flirtation is never boring because women are essentially interchangeable to him.

Mr. Barbecue-Smith is a short, stout, bestselling author of pseudo-spiritual texts who considers himself a modern prophet. He claims to write thousands of words effortlessly by tapping into dissociative states of Inspiration beneath a bright light.

Jenny is an observant woman of around 30 who wears her hair in two buns. She rarely speaks or participates in discussions, preferring to sit apart from the others and sketch harsh, accurate caricatures of the guests in a large red notebook.

Mr. Bodiham is the harsh-voiced local reverend of the Crome parish. He preaches from his study, writing pamphlets about how the ongoing world war fulfills apocalyptic prophecies and proves the impending return of a wrathful God.

Mrs. Bodiham is the quiet wife of the local reverend, dressing in black and sharing his judgmental attitude. She watches the charity fair swimmers from the terrace and openly declares modern recreational activities to be disgusting.

Rowley is the oldest, most experienced laborer working on Crome's farmyard. He carries himself with the dignified air of an elder statesman and easily commands respect from the aristocratic visitors.

Mrs. Budge is an older, round woman from a neighboring country house. She is known for her enthusiastic but blindly obedient war efforts, such as eating thousands of peaches simply to send the stones to the government without questioning their purpose.

Lord Moleyn is a distinguished but cartoonish older guest who attends the Crome Charity Fair. He spends his time at the event talking to young female villagers in a manner that makes them visibly uncomfortable.

Mr. Callamay is a conservative statesman who visits the Crome Charity Fair. Alongside Lord Moleyn, he exhibits a troubling interest in the young women of the village, creating unease among the local girls.

Hercules is an 18th-century ancestor of the Wimbush family who was born unusually small. Inheriting the Crome estate at 21, he populated the household entirely with little people and small animals to escape the mockery of regular-sized society, building a temporary sanctuary for himself and his wife.

Filomena is the beautiful wife of Hercules Lapith. She shares her husband's small stature and love for music, living peacefully at Crome until the birth and rapid growth of their son shatters their sanctuary.

Ferdinando is the son of Hercules and Filomena. Unlike his parents, he grows to a massive size and develops a cruel, destructive personality. His return to Crome brings tension and disruption to the safe haven his father meticulously built.

George is the grandfather of Henry Wimbush. In his youth, he was a handsome, wealthy, but naive man who courted the three Lapith sisters. He eventually uncovers their secret habit of eating lavishly in private while pretending to be frail and spiritual in public.

Georgiana is the eldest of the three Lapith sisters courted by George Wimbush. She outwardly performs the role of a delicate, spiritual woman who disdains food, but secretly consumes large meals away from her suitors' eyes.