Friends and Family

In the prologue, Babette "Babs" Holloway, a Black woman in San Francisco, reflects on her friendships with white women. Her childhood best friend Jodie, a white girl, offered an escape from Babs's strict, old-school Black parents. Their bond shattered in tenth grade when someone taped a newspaper clipping about a vandalized Black family's home to Babs's locker. Jodie saw it, chose a new white friend, and never looked back. After Jodie, Babs never let her guard down with white women until she met Nora, a warm, progressive woman who became her closest friend over 12 years of raising their children together.

The novel opens during Babs and Nora's daily morning walk through San Francisco's Presidio. While Nora confides about her husband Stuart's emotional cruelty, Babs hides a secret: She has been receiving threatening, racially charged texts from the wife of Thomas, a white sculptor with whom Babs had an affair. The affair is over, and Babs has confessed to her husband Galen, a software engineer, but he remains distant. That evening, Babs tells Nora the full story. Thomas fetishized Babs and, when discovered, blamed her and told his wife she had seduced him. Nora is supportive and nonjudgmental; when she asks why Babs does not simply block the number, Babs explains she wants to monitor the threats. Babs's sister Mecca, a spiritually oriented vegan midwife in Oakland, warns that white women always have a blind spot, especially those who think they do not.

At home, Babs and Galen's tension sharpens around his 50th birthday plans. He wants a casual pig roast with his largely Black friend group, but Nora's mother Elaine, an 80-year-old society matron, offers to host a surprise party at the Lachman family vineyard in Napa Valley. Babs initially resists, knowing Galen would hate a lavish affair, but is swept up by the fantasy of giving him a taste of the ease that families like Nora's enjoy. She and Galen share the concept of "Bolinas," their shorthand for spaces and lifestyles exclusively enjoyed by white people, and Babs sees the vineyard party as offering Galen a piece of that world.

On the day of the party, 120 guests gather at the vineyard, but Galen's face contorts with hurt when he arrives. Before Babs can explain, their 17-year-old daughter Reese calls in a panic. A neighbor called 911 reporting a suspicious armed Black man at the Holloway house. Nathan, Nora and Stuart's 17-year-old adopted Black son and Reese's best friend since kindergarten, was loading equipment with the other teenagers when police arrived with guns drawn, pinned him to the ground, and searched him for a weapon he did not have.

The families race home. Galen comforts Nathan gently, telling him he has nothing to apologize for. Stuart, however, questions whether Nathan provoked the officers, asking about his clothing and whether he was smoking pot. Enraged by his father's doubt, Nathan punches his fist through the kitchen window and storms out. At the police precinct, the sergeant is dismissive toward Galen and Babs but cooperative with Nora after she mentions her family connections without revealing Nathan is Black; Galen observes the sergeant helped only because he assumed Nathan was white. Nathan flees to Point Reyes in Nora's car and calls the Holloways rather than his own parents. When the family drives out to retrieve him, Galen shares a story from his childhood: His father forced him at six years old to fight white classmates who had called him racial slurs, a violent but instructive lesson about self-defense.

In the aftermath, Nathan spends increasing time with the Holloways, attending dinners with accomplished Black mentors and immersing himself in conversations about Black history and community. Galen's best friend Joel invites him to try boxing. Nathan absorbs it all with visible hunger, finding a belonging he has never experienced at home.

When the 911 call transcript arrives, Babs and Nora listen together. The caller described Nathan as a 35-year-old, 250-pound Black man with a knife, a wildly inaccurate portrait of the 170-pound teenager. Nora wants to move forward, arguing the system worked. Babs is incredulous. Their disagreement crystallizes: Nora believes the process has run its course, while Babs sees willful blindness. Galen pushes Babs to rewrite her letter to neighbors, naming race explicitly. Reese and Nathan create protest banners inspired by a historic flag from the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) reading "A MAN WAS LYNCHED YESTERDAY." When Nathan tries to hang one at his parents' house, Stuart refuses and Nora supports him.

A young white neighbor tearfully confesses to Babs that she made the 911 call. Babs, filled with rage, tells her to go to hell. Nathan is later falsely accused of shoplifting; Nora fiercely defends him at the store but insists on telling Stuart against Babs's advice. On their next walk, the friendship collapses. Nora accuses Babs of promoting violence by encouraging Nathan's boxing and undermining her parenting. She claims Nathan comes home angry after time with the Holloways. Babs counters that the world sees a Black man and treats him accordingly, regardless of Nora's wishes. Nora declares Nathan should no longer visit the Holloways.

Babs goes to Nora's to deliver a final message, but Stuart arrives and goads Nathan into demonstrating his boxing. The sparring escalates until Nathan punches Stuart, knocking him down. Nora screams that she will call the police, an echo of the threat that traumatized her son. She is immediately horrified, but the damage is done. That evening, Nathan appears at the Holloways' door, declaring he cannot go back. Babs agrees to let him stay through the school year.

Over the following months, Nathan settles into the Holloway household. Babs tells Galen about the threatening texts, and he calls Thomas's wife directly, warning her to stop. The weight lifts. Babs and Galen also begin to reconcile; on a walk along the Lands End trail, Galen apologizes for making Babs walk on eggshells, and they commit to a new pact of openness. Mecca introduces Babs to the Black Brunch Club (BBC), a monthly gathering of Black creatives, where Babs discovers a deep sense of belonging.

When college acceptances arrive, Nathan chooses Howard University, a historically Black university, over Stanford, wanting to be surrounded by people who look like him. Stuart is aghast. Nathan confesses privately to Babs and Galen that he worries he has not grown up "Black enough." Galen reassures him there is no formula for Blackness. At graduation, Nathan raises his fist toward the Holloways. Stuart approaches Babs afterward and thanks them.

The novel's final section retells the Jodie story in fuller detail, revealing that the vandalism was a racial slur spray-painted on Babs's family's driveway. Jodie helped scrub it, but when the story appeared in the newspaper, she chose the easier friendship. For Galen's 51st birthday, he roasts a pig in his own backyard pit, exactly as he originally wanted. The party brims with a diverse community: Babs's new book club, BBC friends, Avenue Brewery neighbors, and longtime friends. Four months earlier, Nora had approached Babs at a café with a heartfelt apology, acknowledging she had been selfish and blind. Babs accepted but told Nora she had apologized to the wrong person: She owed Nathan the deeper reckoning. Now, at the party, Nora appears at the door with a gift. Babs calls her back. She knows she will never love or trust Nora as she once did, but she recognizes their shared love for Nathan and the possibility of moving forward without forgetting. She opens the door wide and invites Nora inside.