Ben is an eleven-year-old boy who lives a quiet life outside London and harbors a secret passion for plumbing. He reads *Plumbing Weekly* obsessively and dreams of a career fixing pipes. He feels highly misunderstood by his parents, who completely ignore his mechanical talents and try to force him into competitive ballroom dancing. Initially judgmental and resentful of his weekly visits to his grandmother, his perspective shifts when he uncovers a cookie tin full of precious gems in her kitchen.

Granny presents as a highly traditional older woman who adheres to a strict routine of cabbage-based meals and early bedtimes. She lives alone, loves playing Scrabble, and lets her broken television collect dust. Underneath this unassuming exterior, she claims a secret past as an international jewel thief known as "The Black Cat." She uses her storytelling abilities and thrilling tales of past heists to capture her grandson's attention and forge a meaningful connection with him.

Mum works as a nail technician at a local salon called Gail's Nails. She possesses an absolute obsession with professional ballroom dancing and sketches costume designs in her spare time. Her intense focus on her own interests makes her oblivious to Ben's actual talents, and she frequently dismisses her mother-in-law's feelings in favor of attending dance events.

Dad works as a security guard at a local grocery store, though his physical fitness limits his ability to chase shoplifters, restricting him to blocking the exits. He met his wife when he incorrectly accused her of stealing potato chips. They have shared a deep bond over ballroom dancing ever since. He enforces strict rules on his son while remaining blind to the boy's actual desires.

Raj is the friendly owner of the neighborhood corner store who regularly interacts with Ben. He understands the boy's interests better than Ben's own parents do, keeping issues of *Plumbing Weekly* safely hidden in his freezer so they do not sell out before Ben arrives. He offers wise, gentle advice about understanding older generations.

Mr. Parker is a retired major and the aggressive leader of the local Neighborhood Watch group. He constantly spies on his neighbors and harbors deep suspicions about Granny, frequently barging into her home to interrogate her and Ben about their activities.

Flavio Flavioli is a famous professional ballroom dancer and television personality. He represents everything Mum and Dad want for their son's future, serving as the glamorous ideal they hope Ben will eventually achieve on the dance floor.

The Queen is the monarch of the United Kingdom and the owner of the highly guarded Crown Jewels. She has a habit of wandering the Tower of London late at night when she experiences insomnia.

Edna is an elderly cousin of Granny's who shares many of her traditional interests. She provides Ben with a continuing link to his family's hobbies by inviting him over to her home to play Scrabble.