I Was a Rat!

A newspaper clipping from the Daily Scourge announces that Prince Richard has become engaged to the mysterious Lady Aurelia Ashington after a whirlwind romance at the Midsummer Ball. Meanwhile, an elderly cobbler named Bob and his wife, Joan, a washerwoman, hear a knock at their door late one evening. On the doorstep stands a small boy in a torn page's uniform. When they ask who he is, the boy can only repeat: "I was a rat." He cannot provide a name or address. He claims to be three weeks old, says his parents are underground, and has two brothers and two sisters. When he sees a photograph of the Prince's fiancée, he calls her "Mary Jane," though Bob dismisses this.

Bob and Joan, who never had children of their own, take the boy in. They name him Roger, the name they would have given a son. Roger's habits are thoroughly ratlike: He plunges his face into his food bowl, must be taught to use a spoon, and curls up in bed as if wrapping a nonexistent tail around himself. By morning he has shredded the bedsheets, blankets, and Bob's nightshirt into strips.

Over the following days, Bob and Joan try to find where Roger belongs. At City Hall, the office for lost children has no records matching him. The couple considers the local orphanage but rejects it after seeing the building's squalor. At the police station, Roger helpfully explains he came from a nest behind the cheese stall and confirms he was a rat. He muddles the word "pencil" with "patient," a recurring confusion. A doctor at the hospital finds Roger perfectly healthy, dismisses his claim as a "rodent delusion," and tells Bob and Joan to send him to school.

School proves disastrous. Placed in Mrs. Cribbins's class, Roger has never held a pencil and does not know what arithmetic means. When Mrs. Cribbins approaches him with a raised hand, Roger instinctively bites her. The Head canes him, and Roger, who has never experienced corporal punishment, screams, fights free, and flees into the streets. At the marketplace, he crawls under the cheese stall, toppling it and scattering cheeses everywhere. Bob must pay for the damages, and the sergeant warns that rats ought to be "exterminated."

The Philosopher Royal, the King's personal philosophical adviser, takes Roger to the Palace for testing. Roger claims to have visited the Palace before and insists the Prince's fiancée is called Mary Jane in the kitchen. The Philosopher Royal dismisses everything as delusion. When he fetches his cat to test Roger's reaction, Roger shrieks in terror, dives out a window, and disappears. Bob and Joan confront the Philosopher Royal that evening, but the old man deflects blame with philosophical jargon. The couple has no leads.

Roger is found by Mr. Oliver Tapscrew, a fairground showman seeking the rumored "rat-boy." Tapscrew and his wife, Martha, dress Roger in a rat costume covered in fake scabs and pustules and exhibit him in a filthy pit as "Rat-Boy." When Roger politely thanks a spectator for throwing him food, the audience recognizes him as an ordinary boy. Tapscrew beats him and orders him only to snarl. Roger complies, spending days eating the rotten food spectators throw at him. As the fair travels, Roger grows thin and listless. Each night he whispers a comforting litany before sleep: "Bob and Joan, bread and milk, nightshirt, privy, patients."

A boy named Billy, who leads a gang of young thieves, frees Roger by prying a plank from his wagon. Billy tells Roger he now belongs to him and terrifies him with stories of "the Sterminator," a figure who hunts rats, insisting "Once a rat, always a rat." Billy recruits Roger as the gang's "wriggler," exploiting his ability to squeeze through small openings during burglaries. During one break-in, Roger raids the pantry, accidentally eats dried chilies, and rushes outside to plunge his head into a rain barrel. A policeman discovers him. Believing the officer is the Sterminator, Roger bites his hand and flees. Convinced he will never succeed at being a boy, he lifts a sewer grating and descends underground, deciding to go back to being a rat.

Bob and Joan trace Roger to the fairground but arrive too late. They discover the wretched conditions in which Roger was kept but cannot find him. The couple continues searching, sustained by the purpose Roger has given their lives.

Underground, Roger lives among the city's rats in the sewers. Workers report sightings of a sinister figure in the drains, and the Daily Scourge publishes sensational stories about a "Monster of the Sewers." Roger is captured and caged at the Quarantine Department. The Government Chief Scientist examines him, dismissing all human behavior as reflex. The Prime Minister, eager to divert attention from the government's unpopularity, wants the creature declared as loathsome as possible. A readers' poll returns 96 percent in favor of destroying the monster, and the government sets up a tribunal.

Bob and Joan realize the "monster" could be Roger and travel to the tribunal. When a witness fails to appear, Bob impersonates him to gain entry, then confesses his real identity and tells the court the monster is a little boy named Roger. The tribunal proceeds: A scientist presents analysis purporting to prove the creature is nonhuman, Tapscrew lies about providing loving care, and the Philosopher Royal testifies that the creature is essentially a rat with no claim to moral consideration. Bob erupts, demanding they bring Roger into court so everyone can see he is human. Police eject him and Joan. The tribunal condemns Roger to death.

In despair, Bob and Joan remember that Roger called the Princess "Mary Jane." Bob realizes the scarlet slippers he has been crafting for the love of his trade could gain them entry to the Palace. Princess Aurelia herself appears at the tradesmen's entrance, invites them in, and tries on the slippers, which fit perfectly. When Joan mentions the name Mary Jane, the Princess reveals it is her real name, changed because it was not considered suitable for royalty. She whispers that she knows who Roger is and promises to help, calling it "a deadly secret."

The Princess halts the extermination and visits Roger in his cage. He recognizes her at once by smell. In their conversation, the full story emerges: Roger was a rat living near the cheese stall behind Mary Jane's house. Mary Jane, a kitchen girl, fed him scraps and called him "Ratty." One day a beautiful lady transformed them both: Mary Jane into a fine lady for the Midsummer Ball, and Roger into a page boy to accompany her in the coach. Roger was supposed to return on the coach and change back into a rat, but he got lost playing with Palace page boys and missed it. Both transformations became permanent. They try to wish the magical lady back, but nothing happens. The Princess concludes the magic comes only once and reflects that what matters is not what one is but what one does.

The Daily Scourge reverses its position, celebrating the Princess's compassion in revealing that the monster was only a little boy. The paper has simply found a more lucrative story. Roger returns home to Bob and Joan and begins learning cobbling as Bob's apprentice. He acknowledges that being a rat would be easier, but being a person is manageable as long as others accept him as one. Joan makes tea, Bob toasts cheese, and the three sit together around the hearth. The story ends with the quiet observation that "toasted cheese and love and craftsmanship would do to keep them safe."