In the Shadow of Eight

Collin Gosselin is one of eight children born to Jon and Kate Gosselin, whose family became the subject of the reality television series Jon & Kate Plus 8. In this memoir, Collin recounts his childhood under constant television surveillance, his escalating mistreatment by his mother, his years-long institutionalization, and his fight to reclaim his identity and voice.

The family first appeared on camera in 2006 for a Discovery Health special when the sextuplets, Collin, Joel, Aaden, Alexis, Hannah, and Leah, were about 15 months old. Collin's older twin sisters, Mady and Cara, completed the group of eight. High ratings led to a full series on TLC, and the family relocated to a large estate in Wernersville, Pennsylvania. No child labor laws protected children on reality TV at the time, so filming proceeded as often as the network and Kate wanted.

Even early on, Collin sensed he was treated differently. Kate enforced rigid rules for all the children but punished Collin more swiftly, insisting he smile correctly for cameras. In June 2009, a televised special drew record-breaking ratings as Jon and Kate announced their plans to divorce. Jon stopped filming, telling CNN that the show was not healthy for the children. TLC sued him; he settled by paying a six-figure sum and waiving his right to stop the children from filming. The series was rebranded as Kate Plus 8. Kate told the children Jon had left because he did not want the family anymore, and five-year-old Collin developed a grudge against his father despite his own memories suggesting otherwise. By age nine, Kate stopped Collin's visits to Jon entirely, telling him his father no longer wanted to see him.

Around age 10, Kate moved Collin from the shared boys' bedroom to an air mattress in the unfinished basement and had a contractor wall off a small enclosed space with no door he could open from the inside, no furnishings beyond a mattress, and two surveillance cameras connected to a portable monitor she carried. Collin had to call out through the cameras to use the bathroom, ate dinner alone, and was assigned every household chore. Kate's discipline became physical: ear-grabbing, slaps, and verbal attacks labeling him the problem.

In fourth grade, Collin arrived at school with a visibly swollen ear and admitted to the school counselor that his mother had yanked it. Children and Youth Services (CYS), a child protective agency, investigated but failed to intervene; Jon later learned of 14 complaints against Kate, none resulting in action. Kate pulled Collin from school and banned the camera crew from the basement. A homeschool teacher, Mrs. Johnson, became a mother figure to Collin, but that trust shattered when she locked him in his basement room one evening despite his pleas. Kate took Collin to a psychiatrist, did all the talking, and secured prescriptions for six medications. In a 2016 interview with People magazine, Kate described Collin as having "special needs," a label he later understood as laying the groundwork for his removal.

At age 11, Collin escaped through a basement window and ran barefoot down the driveway, but he had no phone, no money, and nowhere to go. He returned home. Kate grabbed him by the ear, bound his wrists and ankles with zip ties, and left him on the floor in the dark for hours. EMTs arrived, and Collin was transferred to Fairmount Behavioral Health System, a psychiatric facility. Kate did not accompany him.

Collin's admission paperwork listed him as 13, though he was 11; the minimum age for the facility's adolescent program was 13. He was assigned to C-Pod, the adolescent unit, where his roommate Jaymes became his guide to institutional life. The routine consisted of loud wakeups, medication lines, unproductive group therapy, and idle time with no schoolwork. Staff placed him on five or six daily psychiatric medications that caused brain fog, exhaustion, and weight gain.

His 12th birthday passed unacknowledged except by Jaymes. During a phone call arranged by a social worker, Mrs. Johnson described Collin's escape as violent and called him a danger to others. About a year after admission, Kate visited Fairmount once. She refused the origami gifts Collin had made for his siblings, told him they were happier without him, and said he had broken the family. She never returned.

After more than a year at Fairmount, Collin confronted the facility's lead psychiatrist, Dr. Jack Brown, demanding to know why he was still there. Staff slammed him to the floor, Brown sat on his chest, and they injected him with a sedative. He was transferred to B-Pod, a windowless unit housing residents aged 18 to 21. His roommate Ryan, admitted for substance use and self-harm, told Collin his extended stay was not normal. Collin wrote a desperate letter to his father and passed it to Ryan, who was discharged days later.

After 21 months at Fairmount, Collin was transferred to George Junior Republic (GJR), a residential program with open grounds and classrooms. His psychiatrist there began tapering most of his medications over five months. Collin returned to formal education for the first time since fourth grade. A counselor named Mr. Simon facilitated a phone call with Jon. Jon explained that Kate had told the siblings Collin was at home; Jon had not known Collin was institutionalized until a CYS letter arrived. Ryan's letter, forwarded through Jon's manager, confirmed Collin's location. Jon told Collin he had never stopped wanting to see him.

After nearly a year at GJR, Collin was released just before Christmas 2018 and moved in with Jon, Jon's girlfriend Colleen, his sister Hannah, and Colleen's daughter Jordan in Sinking Spring, Pennsylvania. Reintegration was difficult. Collin clashed with Jon, struggled to trust Colleen because Kate's abuse and Mrs. Johnson's betrayal had made maternal care feel unsafe, and was years behind academically and socially when he enrolled in eighth grade.

A court-mandated sibling reunion at the Works, a local amusement center, proved stiff and fleeting. At the end of the visit, Collin stayed inside, too afraid of encountering Kate to walk his siblings out. He watched them leave through the glass. None turned back. He has not seen them since.

Despite Colleen's objections, Jon began giving interviews about Collin's institutionalization. Kate responded through People magazine, describing Collin as having "special needs" and a "fairly fluid diagnosis." The coverage followed Collin into high school, straining his relationship with Jon.

Collin found direction through his high school's Junior Reserve Officers' Training Corps (JROTC) program and committed to enlisting in the Marines. He maintained a 4.0 GPA and shipped out to Parris Island, South Carolina, in July 2023, thriving for 10 weeks. In the 11th week, a Navy doctor informed him that an outside source had reported diagnoses of bipolar disorder, OCD, and ADHD. Despite Collin's protests that the diagnoses were fabricated, the doctor discharged him. While at Parris Island, Collin learned that Kate had posted on Instagram calling him "a very troubled young man" with "multiple psychiatric diagnoses."

Determined to clear his name, Collin paid over $2,000 for a comprehensive evaluation by Dr. Paul Delfin, a clinical psychologist. Dr. Delfin concluded that Collin met criteria for none of the diagnoses attributed to him. Collin published the results through The Sun in September 2024, controlling his own mental health narrative for the first time.

Now 22 and in college majoring in finance, Collin describes a life that finally feels like his own. He remains close to Jon and his new wife Stephanie, to Colleen, and to Hannah. He expresses love for all his siblings and hopes they will read his book. He closes by urging readers to listen to children, believe them when they speak up, and act when they need protection.