Niagara Falls, or Does It?

Niagara Falls, or Does It? is a children's novel about a fourth-grader in New York City who struggles academically but possesses boundless creativity and charm.

On the first day of fourth grade at his public school, PS 87, Hank Zipzer is summoned to Principal Love's office over the loudspeaker. Nick McKelty, the class bully, taunts him as he leaves, and Hank's best friend, Frankie Townsend, advises him to breathe deeply. Principal Love scolds Hank for being 17 minutes late, reminding him of identical conversations in previous grades. Hank explains to the reader that his backpack ended up in the coat closet that morning, causing the delay, but he cannot articulate this excuse to the principal.

Back in class, Hank's strict teacher, Ms. Adolf, assigns a five-paragraph essay on summer vacations, due the following Monday, and singles Hank out to read his aloud first. Hank privately despairs. He struggles severely with writing, spelling, and handwriting, and the assignment feels impossible.

At lunch, Hank sits with Frankie, their rhinestone-loving friend Ashley Wong, and Robert Upchurch, a younger third-grader who skipped a grade. All three live in Hank's apartment building. Frankie suggests Hank write about the family's summer trip to Niagara Falls, but Ashley reveals that Hank told her a different, less dramatic version of the trip, exposing his habit of embellishing stories. When Nick, whose father owns a bowling alley called McKelty's Roll 'N Bowl, steals Hank's snack, Hank invents a story about a tuna fish that ate an Ohio license plate to scare Nick away from Ashley's lunch. Frankie marvels at Hank's gift for quick talking, and the compliment sparks an idea.

Hank visits Ms. Adolf and presents a handwritten list of reasons he should not have to write the essay. Ms. Adolf calls the list creative but still expects the written essay on Monday.

After school, Hank's grandfather Papa Pete, a large, warm man with a big mustache, walks the children home and stops at McKelty's Roll 'N Bowl, his regular bowling hangout. There, he auditions Frankie, a talented amateur magician, for his bowling league's season-opening party, hiring him after a sponge-ball trick. Hank proposes they form a magic business: Frankie as head magician, Hank as assistant, and Ashley as business manager. Ashley negotiates a $30 fee, and Papa Pete requests that a small live animal be pulled from a top hat. The friends realize they have no rabbit but trust Hank to find a solution.

The trio names their act Magik 3 and schedules a planning meeting in their basement clubhouse. At dinner, Hank's parents, his quiet, crossword-puzzle-loving father Stan Zipzer and his mother Randi, insist he start his essay immediately. His younger sister Emily, an academically gifted reptile enthusiast who carries her pet iguana Katherine on her shoulder, inadvertently highlights the contrast with Hank's struggles through her easy school success.

Hank attempts the essay at his desk but manages only a sentence and a half before getting distracted. He watches his dachshund, Cheerio, chase his tail and reflects on his broader frustrations: He studies material until he knows it at home, but the information slides out of his mind by the time he reaches school.

That evening, Hank sneaks to the clubhouse. Watching Cheerio spin gives him an idea: They can use the dog as their live creature for the magic trick. He proposes building an oversized top hat from a hatbox, covering it in black felt, adding wheels, and creating a secret pocket with biscuits to keep Cheerio calm. When Ashley praises his creativity, Hank connects the word to his essay problem. He decides he will not write the essay at all but will instead build a working model of Niagara Falls to present as a "living essay" (85), complete with flowing water, papier-mâché cliffs, and a boat.

Over the next several days, Hank, Frankie, Ashley, and Robert construct the model in the basement. They build papier-mâché cliffs, add a LEGO boat and a fish-tank pump, and devise a water-delivery system using cardboard tubes wrapped in plastic wrap, designed to connect to the classroom sink. Frankie worries the tubes will not hold water, but Hank assures him everything will work. The night before the presentation, Hank tells his mother the essay is perfect without revealing its true form.

On Monday, the friends carry the model to school. In the hallway, Nick brags to Principal Love about his eight-paragraph essay and cryptically warns Hank that a surprise is coming. In class, Hank dons a yellow raincoat and fisherman's hat, and Ashley connects the hose to the sink. Water flows over the cliffs, the pump circulates it, and the LEGO boat floats. The students are amazed as Hank recites facts about Niagara Falls and Frankie improvises a comic Italian-tourist routine.

Then the cardboard tube disintegrates. Ashley accidentally turns the faucet to full force, blowing the hose free and spraying water everywhere. Ms. Adolf is drenched and her roll book destroyed. Principal Love, who has entered the room, slips and sends the papier-mâché crashing onto his face. Hank realizes Nick told the principal to come watch him fail. Principal Love orders Hank to his office.

Hank faces his furious parents and the principal. Principal Love assigns two weeks of detention; Hank's father adds two weeks of grounding with no electronics. Hank realizes the magic show falls within his punishment period and tells his friends, who are crushed.

During detention, Ms. Adolf must leave early each day because her husband's car is in the shop, so Hank is sent to the music room. There, the new music teacher, Mr. Rock, a young-faced man with curly silver hair, overhears Hank pounding drums and venting his frustration. Mr. Rock tells Hank his brain is not stupid and bonds with him over baseball trivia, noting that Hank's mind holds plenty of information. He explains that every brain learns differently. Over the week, Mr. Rock teaches Hank xylophone, shares music that evokes rain and nature, and helps Hank work on his essay through guiding questions.

Mr. Rock then visits Hank's apartment and suggests to his parents that Hank be tested for learning differences. Hank's father dismisses the idea, calling Hank lazy and pointing to Emily's success. Mr. Rock counters that a high-achieving sibling adds pressure and that many children have learning challenges. Hank's mother asks her husband to at least consider it. Speaking directly to Hank, Mr. Rock tells him that creativity should always be encouraged. Hank asks his parents if he can do the magic show; they say they will think about it and agree the next morning.

On Saturday night, Magik 3 performs at McKelty's Roll 'N Bowl. Nick attempts to hijack the show with a blindfolded bowling exhibition, but his ball rolls into the gutter. Ashley ties two cherry stems into a knot with her tongue to warm up the crowd, and Frankie performs scarf and rope tricks. For the grand finale, Frankie reaches into the giant hat to reveal Cheerio. The audience's applause startles the dog back inside, where he spins furiously, propelling the wheeled hat down a bowling lane and into the pins for a strike. The crowd erupts in cheers, and Nick stomps away, humiliated.

That night, Hank sits on the apartment balcony with Papa Pete, eating pickles and looking at the moon. He confides that he is scared the testing will prove he is stupid. Papa Pete compares people to pickles: all different shapes and flavors, but all delicious to someone. He assures Hank that he is "positively delicious" (132). Hank pops the last bite into his mouth and hopes his grandfather is right about him.