Picking Cotton: Our Memoir Of Injustice And Redemption

“I was no longer me. The girl in my mind, the picture-perfect student who would soon be getting married to Paul, was sucked down by that black hole.”

As Jennifer is at the hospital being treated after her rape, she does not know if she will ever be able to feel normal again. She describes herself as becoming nothing but her emotions, and all of her emotions are horrible. She envisions a new future in which there are no plans, but only pain. 

“I wondered if being raped by a black man made me a less desirable prospective wife for her son.”

Not only does Jennifer’s family not want to talk about the rape, neither does Paul’s mother. She is demonstrably uncomfortable around Jennifer, and Jennifer can’t help but wonder why she feels blamed for the fact that she was victimized. 

“There was no etiquette guidebook to tell you what to do when someone you loved has been raped.”

Even though she wishes her mother was not so uncomfortable about talking about the rape—which they never really do—Jennifer understands. They are all in an unfamiliar situation, and she knows that her mother’s gift of flowers and a ‘Get well soon’ card are her best attempt at trying to help.