Benny is a 23-year-old real-estate agent living in Orange County, California. Despite surviving a highly traumatic childhood marked by family violence and neglect, he maintains a relentlessly optimistic, "nice" worldview, genuinely believing everything happens for the best. His meticulously clean, all-white home reflects his desire for peace and order. He suddenly faces the inexplicable loss of his job, relationship, and professional reputation in a single day.

Spike is a seven-foot-tall, muscular figure with a shaved head and white eyebrows who identifies himself as a "craggle." Arriving in a mysteriously shipped crate, he claims to be 1,800 years old and possesses unexplainable physical abilities. He exists to act as a bodyguard and supporter for individuals who are dangerously nice, arriving precisely when their lives are under attack.

Harper works as a waitress but actively trains as a private investigator under Robert Jericho. She dresses in colorful, quirky clothing, commonly sporting yellow jeans and a pink baseball cap. She follows a personal philosophy of striving to be "smooth and blue," which helps her maintain a serene, upbeat attitude in the face of bizarre and dangerous situations.

Catherine is the wife of the headmaster at Briarbush Academy and a former entomologist with a dark past in Asia. She uses a secluded laboratory on the school grounds to conduct secretive, disturbing experiments on the students, attempting to mold them into ruthless, obedient assets for powerful organizations.

Upton is a 90-year-old billionaire and a high-ranking member of a secretive group called the Better Kind. He lives in a heavily guarded mansion named Palazzo del Coniglio. Driven by a lifelong sense of entitlement and rage, he uses his massive resources to target Benny's inherent goodness.

Llewellyn is an austere woman in her fifties who leads the Better Kind, a coalition of wealthy elites who target and destroy people they deem dangerously nice. Despite her immense generational wealth, she chooses to live in a modest-looking home filled with priceless art, believing her superiority gives her the absolute right to reshape society.

Talmadge is an elderly man with a white mustache and goatee who favors pristine white three-piece suits. He operates a Florida warehouse and possesses a deeply comforting, benevolent aura that puts suspicious freight workers at ease. He sends Benny an unexpected inheritance based on their shared history of surviving difficult childhoods.

Known by his preferred nickname "Fat Bob," Robert is a retired police officer who now operates as a private investigator. He takes deep pride in helping innocent people fight against unjust circumstances. He warns Benny that excessive kindness makes him a prime target for malicious forces.

Handy is the manager of a real estate office in California. After happily employing Benny for three years, he suddenly fires him without cause, acting under extreme pressure from unseen individuals who threaten his financial stability.

Jill is a highly successful real estate agent and Benny's girlfriend at the start of the story. Driven by intense ambition, she previously shared a vision with Benny of dominating the local real estate market, but abruptly ends their relationship on the exact same day his professional life falls apart.

Naomi is Benny's mother. Following the sudden death of her abusive first husband, she inherits a substantial life insurance payout and uses it to travel the world on cruise ships. She actively avoids parenting, delegating the raising of her son to an abusive relative, boarding schools, and detached tutors.

Cosima is Benny's maternal grandmother, a cruel and morbid woman rumored to have killed her two previous husbands. She forces a young Benny to wear only black and subjects him to depressing, death-focused lessons in an effort to break his naturally optimistic spirit.

Jubal is a very wealthy man who meets Naomi on a cruise ship and quickly becomes her second husband. He casually finances Benny's enrollment at the elite Briarbush Academy to get the boy out of the way before leaving the country to continue his lavish, globe-trotting lifestyle.

Mordred is an intense, volatile man hired to tutor a young Benny. He holds radical political views, heavily uses marijuana, and harbors a deep, violent hatred for piano music due to his own traumatic childhood experiences.

Jurgen is Benny's roommate at Briarbush Academy. Projecting the severe demeanor of an intense leader, he is deeply suspicious of the school's faculty and correctly deduces that the academy actively tries to change students into cruel, entitled adults.

Mengistu is an older student at Briarbush Academy, widely considered to be the smartest boy in the entire school. He forms a close trio with Benny and Jurgen, using his intellect and courage to help them uncover the disturbing activities happening in the headmaster's laboratory.

Prescott is a student at Briarbush Academy who begins assisting Mrs. Baneberry-Smith in her laboratory. He undergoes alarming behavioral changes, developing strange physical compulsions and unusual dietary habits before disappearing entirely from the general student body.

Oliver is a wealthy attorney involved in orchestrating Benny's sudden personal and professional ruin. He belongs to an elite circle that deeply despises naturally kind people, viewing individuals like Benny as offensive ideologies that need to be aggressively crushed.

Dr. Liebhaber is a bitter, retired child psychologist hired by Naomi Catspaw to house and tutor Benny. Exhausted by her previous career, she refuses to interact with Benny directly, instead allowing him to educate himself by reading alone in her extensive library.

A strange man in a white tunic who watches over the ruined remains of Briarbush. He claims to have been stationed there by an internal security agency and views himself as the founder of the Church of Earth, offering chaotic warnings about the location's dark history.