The Colored Museum

George C. Wolfe

The Colored Museum

George C. Wolfe
49 pages1-hour read
Fiction
Play
Adult
Published in 1987

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Character List

Meet the key characters, with insights into their roles, motivations, and relationships—spoiler-free.

Major Characters

Miss Pat is a flight attendant aboard the bizarre Celebrity Slaveship. She presents a polite, saccharine demeanor while enforcing strict rules on her passengers, such as a ban on drums and the mandatory fastening of shackles. Her attitude highlights the contrast between modern middle-class hospitality and the historical trauma of the transatlantic slave trade.

Key Relationships

Connected to Topsy Washington

Fellow Exhibit of Aunt Ethel

A transgender woman and self-described "Snap Queen" who frequents a gay club called The Bottomless Pit. She wears extravagant drag attire and drinks heavily to cope with her demons. She claims to possess the supernatural ability to steal heartbeats with a simple snap of her fingers, providing her a measure of control in a prejudiced world.

Key Relationships

Connected to Topsy Washington

Patron of Waiter

A world-renowned musical diva who returns to the United States after finding success in France. She uses a fake French accent and insists on controlling her public narrative. Her glamorous performance is continuously derailed by the emergence of her closely guarded secrets.

Key Relationships

Employer of Admonia

Partner of Flo'rance

Connected to Topsy Washington

An energetic woman who describes attending a massive, fantastical party featuring historical and fictional Black figures. She embraces the music and madness inside her, serving as a unifying force who connects the various characters across time and space into a single celebration of identity.

Key Relationships

Connected to Miss Pat

Connected to Miss Roj

Connected to The Man

Connected to Lala Lamazing Grace

Supporting Characters

Aunt Ethel is the host of a down-home cooking show who wears a bandana and a reassuring grin. She stands before a steaming pot and shares her recipe for cooking a "batch of Negroes." Her character mimics the stereotypical caricatures historically performed in vaudeville, boiling down collective trauma and culture into a literal recipe.

Key Relationships

Fellow Exhibit of Miss Pat

Predecessor to Girl and Guy

An aesthetically perfect Black couple who have chosen to live entirely inside the glossy, soulless pages of Ebony Magazine. They speak in unison and maintain constant, rehearsed smiles. By abandoning all cultural contradictions and past pain, they suffer from a hollow emptiness.

Key Relationships

Successors to Aunt Ethel

Connected to Topsy Washington

Junie is a soldier deployed in the Vietnam War who survives a booby trap explosion. Upon returning to life, he realizes he can see the future pain his fellow soldiers will endure when returning to the United States. He contemplates taking drastic action to spare them from their painful fates.

Key Relationships

Squad Member of J.F.

Squad Member of Hubert

A bald woman who is preparing for a breakup lunch with her partner. She has lost her hair after years of applying harsh chemicals to meet shifting aesthetic ideologies. She finds herself trapped in a stressful argument between her two talking wigs over how she should present herself.

Key Relationships

Owner of Janine

Owner of LaWanda

An Afro wig dating back to 1968. She rests on a vanity stand and argues passionately that she is the right hairpiece for the upcoming breakup lunch. She views herself as the healthier option that represents attitude and cultural resistance.

Key Relationships

Hairpiece of The Woman

Rival of LaWanda

A long, flowing wig who argues with Janine over who will be worn to a breakup lunch. She describes herself as modern and emotionally expressive. She urges her owner to focus on dramatic flair rather than past political movements.

Key Relationships

Hairpiece of The Woman

Rival of Janine

A tuxedo-clad host who solemnly introduces a domestic drama play. He controls the pacing of the sketch, clapping to generate sound effects and distributing an acting award to the performers. His presence actively prevents the audience from emotionally connecting with the melodramatic events onstage.

Key Relationships

Commentator on Mama

Commentator on The Lady in Plaid

Commentator on Medea Jones

The central matriarch in a stereotypical domestic drama play. She wears a dress made from the exact same material as her couch and window drapes. She insists on strict adherence to middle-class manners, constantly demanding that her family members wipe their feet before entering.

Key Relationships

An angry young man frustrated by his oppression under an unseen figure he calls "The Man." He frequently erupts into emotional, exaggerated speeches about his desire to take charge of his life. His dramatic outbursts lead to physical altercations with his mother and bitter arguments with his wife.

Key Relationships

Son of Mama

Brother of Medea Jones

Subject of Narrator

Walter's wife, who speaks entirely in third-person, poetic monologues. She ignores her husband's demands for dinner, choosing instead to reflect on her ancestral connections to the Nile and her spiritual sisters in other cities.

Key Relationships

Walter's sister, who enters the family apartment speaking and gesturing as if performing in a classical Greek tragedy. She adopted this performance style after studying at a prestigious performing arts college, hoping to make her suffering feel universal.

Key Relationships

A corporate professional dressed in modern business attire. He attempts to throw away items from his past, including old records and protest buttons, to survive in a corporate environment he calls an Ice Age. His efforts to discard his history are physically interrupted by a manifestation of his younger self.

Key Relationships

Older Manifestation of The Kid

Connected to Topsy Washington

A manifestation of The Man's youth, dressed in street style from the late 1960s. He physically fights to prevent The Man from throwing away beloved soul records and cultural artifacts. He insists that he will always remain a core part of The Man's identity.

Key Relationships

Younger Manifestation of The Man

Lala's servant, who constantly interrupts the diva's performance by bringing out telegrams and hidden truths. She forces Lala to confront the history she desperately tries to keep locked away behind a large black door.

Key Relationships

Acquaintance of Flo'rance

Lala's lover and mentor, a white man whom she claims molded her into a star and gave her a new name. He appears onstage bound, gagged, and wearing a white mask with blonde hair.

Key Relationships

Acquaintance of Admonia

A young Southern girl wearing a faded dress who has been locked away by her mother. Following an encounter with a local garbage collector, she lays a large white egg. She carefully tends to the egg, listening to the multiple heartbeats growing inside it.

Key Relationships

Romantic Interest of Garbage Man

Daughter of Mother

A Black American soldier serving in the Vietnam War. He appears in Junie's supernatural vision of the future, representing the domestic violence and systemic abuse awaiting the soldiers back home.

Key Relationships

Squad Member of Junie Robinson

Another soldier in Junie's combat squad in Vietnam. Junie foresees a dark future for Hubert involving domestic abuse, driving Junie to contemplate extreme preventative actions.

Key Relationships

Squad Member of Junie Robinson

A silent staff member at The Bottomless Pit. He continually brings Miss Roj her strong drinks as she recounts her stories and falls deeper into intoxication.

Key Relationships

Server to Miss Roj

The local garbage collector whom Normal Jean describes as smelling like all the good things people throw away, such as cantaloupe juice and strawberries. His encounter with Normal Jean leads to her unique pregnancy.

Key Relationships

Romantic Interest of Normal Jean Reynolds

Normal Jean's mother, who reacts to her daughter's unconventional pregnancy with intense shame. She locks Normal Jean away and attempts to take the resulting egg from her.

Key Relationships