The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom

Ruiz presents his third agreement, Don’t Make Assumptions. When people make assumptions, they believe them and react to situations that don’t really exist by sending emotional poison into the world. He shares the example of seeing a person one likes at a mall. The person smiles, and suddenly one assumes that the person must really like them. Soon, they’ve imagined an entire future with this person and even planned a wedding. However, nothing about their assumptions is true, so the bubble soon bursts.

Ruiz writes that people make assumptions—and consequently gossip about them—because they’re afraid to ask questions. Because they don’t ask questions, the mitote and previously made agreements in their minds lead them to misinterpret situations. The human mind is quick to make assumptions because of its need to understand and justify everything to feel safe. Assumptions replace necessary communication and set people up for suffering.

Next, Ruiz examines how assumptions operate in relationships. People tend to assume that everyone else sees the world the way they do, which is why people are afraid of being themselves. They’re afraid that others will

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