An unnamed educator who teaches a highly censored and sanitized version of world history. Believing he is protecting his pupils' innocence, he removes all suffering and violence from his lessons, replacing factual events with lighthearted jokes. He reimagines the Ice Age as the "Chilly Age" and reduces the Spanish Inquisition to a time of trivial questioning. Following his classes, he walks home through an idyllic, flower-lined neighborhood, completely oblivious to his students' actual behavior.

A group of unnamed children who attend the history teacher's class. Subjected to a curriculum completely scrubbed of conflict and moral consequences, they lack the historical context needed to develop empathy. When they leave the controlled environment of the classroom for the playground, they immediately resort to physical aggression, targeting peers who are physically weak or intellectually smart.