The Little Old Lady Who Broke All the Rules

A few hours later, the group heads to the spa to begin the heist. As the pool area fills with guests, Brains leaves for the fuse box while the others enter the steam room. The plan is for Martha to release henbane and cannabis powders into the steam nozzle, but she discovers that the henbane bag has a hole and that the powder is a soggy mess. Improvising, she dumps the wet henbane and the entire bag of cannabis into the nozzle. Christina and Anna-Greta are meant to pretend to faint to create a diversion for Brains and Rake to break into the valuables cupboard. Brains has installed LED lights in his slippers to help them see, though Martha worries that they’re too conspicuous.

The narrative shifts to Nurse Barbara, who is in bed with Director Mattson. She presses him to divorce his wife, but he deflects. Mattson receives a call from his wife, who informs him that her trip to London with their children has been extended. Delighted, Mattson decides to take more time off work to spend with Barbara and tells her to call in a temporary nurse, Katia, to cover her shifts at the Diamond House retirement home. 

When Katia arrives the next day, she finds the home unusually quiet. The League of Pensioners is absent. Their rooms are tidy, and their coats are missing. Assuming that they’re away performing at a concert and that Barbara simply forgot to tell her, Katia expects them back soon.

Inside the steam room, the potent mixture makes everyone giddy and euphoric instead of drowsy. After some prompting from Martha, Christina and Anna-Greta lie down, laughing uncontrollably. The lights go out as planned, and Martha fetches the receptionist. As soon as the receptionist is gone, Brains begins to work on the lock of the metal cupboard but realizes that he’s wearing sneakers, not his slippers with the built-in LED lights. The reception lights also go out, and while working in the dark, he simply sweeps the cupboard’s entire contents into a gym bag just as the power returns.

The group gathers in their suite to examine the loot, but they’re deeply disappointed. The bag contains mostly worthless items like makeup and hairbrushes, along with a few watches and bracelets. They realize that the haul isn’t valuable enough to guarantee the lengthy prison sentence they desire. Frustrated, they brainstorm new, more ambitious crimes, including a kidnapping. That night, Martha wakes up with a sudden insight, having devised a plan for their next heist.

The next morning, the group discovers that the spa area is cordoned off and that the police are present. After breakfast in their suite, Martha proposes stealing paintings from the nearby National Museum and demanding a ransom, a “kidnapping” of art that harms no one. She argues that a theft of several million kronor’s worth of paintings should earn them the prison sentence they want. The others are intrigued, and a detailed planning discussion follows, covering which paintings to target, how to disable alarms and cameras, and how to get the canvases out in walker baskets. Martha and Brains agree to scout the museum the next day.

At Diamond House, Katia grows increasingly worried since the pensioners haven’t returned. Unable to reach Nurse Barbara, she calls various local parishes to inquire about any concerts but finds no information. Realizing that something is seriously wrong, she reluctantly calls the police to report five elderly residents missing. 

Back at the hotel, the group gathers for dinner to finalize the museum-heist plan. Later that night, Rake wakes Brains, claiming that he’s freezing because his radiator has frozen and started leaking. Brains dismisses it as one of Rake’s tall tales and sends him back to bed.

The group arrives at the National Museum at opening time to execute the heist. Anna-Greta uses her walking stick to trigger the alarm in the Dutch masterpieces room, creating a diversion. Christina disables a surveillance camera by pulling out its wire, and Brains cuts the cables securing a Renoir and a Monet. Martha hides both paintings under a coat in her walker basket. When Christina faints for real, the group hurriedly replaces one of the paintings with a “BACK SOON” sign and misdirects a security guard with a story of a fictitious bearded thief. At the elevator, Rake swaps Martha’s loot-filled walker for his identical empty one and calmly exits with the stolen art. The group slips out just as the first police officers rush in.

Back at the suite, the group celebrates with champagne and strawberries, admiring the stolen Renoir and Monet. From the balcony, they watch the police cordon and media chaos outside the National Museum with delight. Martha grows anxious about where to hide the paintings before the police search the hotel. While she and the others puzzle over this, Christina quietly takes the canvases away with her bag and returns without them, challenging the rest to find where she has put them.

Rake and Brains relax in the suite’s sauna and toast to their success. Martha interrupts to demand that they find where Christina has hidden the paintings. Wrapped in wet towels, the men search the entire suite but fail to locate the canvases. After they dress, Christina organizes a formal search game with a prize of chocolates. Rake eventually discovers that she has altered the paintings with watercolor, hung them on the wall among the hotel’s art, and changed the signatures to “Rene Ihre” and “Mona Ed.”

Inspector Arne Lönnberg receives Katia’s call about the five missing pensioners from Diamond House. He’s dismissive of the report, believing that the elderly friends have simply decided to go on an unauthorized trip for fun. Concluding that no crime has been committed, he crumples up his notes and throws them in the trash, deciding to wait unless the home calls again.

The day after the heist, the group reads about the crime in the newspapers with delight. The media speculates that the culprit is a kind-looking bearded man and that the “BACK SOON” sign left at the scene is a message from a religious sect or a terrorist group. They decide to send a ransom note, which they create by cutting out letters from newspapers. They demand 10 million kronor, to be delivered in two black Urbanista shopping trolleys placed on the Silja Serenade cruise ship to Finland on 27 March before 16:00. After a lengthy debate about logistics, Martha mails the letter, feeling a thrill at their new life as successful criminals.