Tommy is a sixth-grade boy trying to figure out the social rules of middle school. He serves as the primary narrator, compiling testimonies from peers to understand if Dwight's paper puppet possesses actual insight. He worries about looking foolish, especially regarding his crush on a classmate, and struggles to decide whether he should trust Dwight's odd advice.

Dwight is an eccentric, highly intelligent sixth-grader who excels in math but struggles socially. He wears the same shirt for a month, sits in holes in his yard, and frequently acts out in class. He uses his impressive origami skills to create a Yoda finger puppet that dispenses startlingly accurate advice to his classmates.

Harvey is a tall sixth-grader who acts as the chief skeptic of Origami Yoda. He displays both nerdiness and arrogance, frequently mocking Dwight's habits and trying to discredit the puppet's answers. His cynical attitude masks his own insecurities about popularity.

Sara is a smart sixth-grade girl who lives next door to Dwight. She is conscientious, questioning the ethics of using Yoda's advice to study for unannounced quizzes. She is the central focus of Tommy's anxiety, as his desire to ask her to a dance drives his entire investigation.

Caroline is a cool sixth-grade student who wears hearing aids and reads lips. Her hearing loss sometimes isolates her from peers, but she handles school gracefully. She becomes the focus of Dwight's affection when she asks his puppet for help dealing with a physical bully.

Kellen is Tommy's friend and an enthusiastic believer in Origami Yoda. He tries hard to fit in and frequently misreads social situations, especially regarding his feelings for a female classmate. He relies on the puppet to help him survive an embarrassing morning involving a water stain on his pants.

Quavondo is a student who acquires the nickname "Cheeto Hog" after panicking and eating an entire bag of snacks during a zoo trip. Desperate to repair his reputation, he turns to Origami Yoda for guidance, leading to a high-risk social experiment at a school assembly.

Mike is a boy who wants desperately to get a hit in softball but tries too hard, leading to constant strikeouts and tears. He believes in "the Force" and seeks out Origami Yoda to learn how to hit home runs, only to receive challenging psychological advice instead.

Rhondella is a friend of Sara's who finds Kellen's intense attention highly irritating. She refuses to admit any reciprocal interest in him and is reluctantly dragged into consulting Yoda about Kellen's bothersome behavior.

Lance is a student who occasionally interacts with Tommy's group. Because his parents do not allow him to see R-rated movies, he asks Yoda if a new vampire film is worth missing.

Mr. Snider is an English teacher who displays a bust of William Shakespeare in his classroom. He demonstrates a fair-minded approach, appreciating students who use original thinking to fix their accidents.

Mr. Howell is a strict teacher who supervises homeroom and school field trips. He frequently issues in-school suspensions to Dwight for bizarre behavior and clashes with students over snack rules.

Mr. Stevens is a life science teacher at McQuarrie Middle School. He inadvertently tests Yoda's precognitive abilities when the puppet predicts his unannounced pop quiz.

Mr. Good Clean Fun is an assembly entertainer who visits the school to talk about hygiene. He uses a singing monkey puppet and gets interrupted by student antics during his presentation.

Cassie is a new student who enrolled mid-year and struggles to make friends. After she accidentally breaks a classroom decoration, she turns to Dwight for help on the bus ride home.

Marcie is an eighth-grade student aiming to win the local spelling bee. She dismisses the sixth-graders' obsession with Yoda but consults the puppet anyway in hopes of gaining an advantage.

Zack is a large, physically aggressive boy who picks on other students. He bullies Caroline by breaking her custom pencils, prompting Dwight to step in and confront him.

Amy is a sixth-grade girl who is close friends with Sara and Rhondella. She is pragmatic about using Yoda's advice, seeing no harm in listening to a paper puppet if it helps her prepare for class.