Adam is a young novelist whose life is thrown into chaos when border guards confiscate and burn his completed manuscript upon his arrival in England. Penniless and indebted to his hotel proprietor, he struggles to secure enough money to honor his engagement to his fiancée. He functions as an adaptable observer to the frantic, directionless lives of his wealthy peers, constantly searching for financial stability.

Nina is Adam's pragmatic fiancée. She finds the chaotic social whirl of London exhausting but continually participates in the endless string of parties. Her approach to romance is heavily influenced by financial security, leading to constant fluctuations in her engagement status depending on the exact contents of Adam's wallet.

Agatha is a prominent member of the "Bright Young People" social set. She attends countless parties across London and frequently finds herself in absurd situations, including being aggressively strip-searched by customs officials. She enthusiastically embraces the chaotic pace of her era without much thought for personal safety or reputation.

Colonel Blount is Nina's senile, eccentric father who resides at the dilapidated family estate, Doubting Hall. He struggles with his memory, frequently confusing people's identities and completely failing to grasp the purpose of Adam's visits. His primary interest lies in the cinema, an obsession that overrides any practical responsibilities he holds toward his daughter's future.

Often simply referred to as the drunk Major, this elusive figure is a military man who frequents London's social spaces. He possesses a knack for disappearing just when people need him. Despite his chronic intoxication, he maintains a bizarrely strict sense of military fastidiousness regarding gambling debts and numbers.

Ginger is a wealthy young man who recently returned from a colonial military post in Ceylon. He serves as a coarse, inarticulate contrast to the other young men in London society. He possesses vast financial stability but lacks the wit or imagination of the artistic crowd he tries to mingle with.

Simon is a young earl who works as a gossip columnist under a newspaper pseudonym. He actively despises his profession but relies on it for free meals at expensive restaurants and continued social access. He faces intense pressure from his editors to secure exclusive stories about the peerage.

Miles is a frequent companion of Agatha and Adam in the London party scene. He participates fully in the extravagant, aimless socializing of his peers and maintains connections with various subcultures, including the dangerous world of motor racing mechanics.

Lottie is the proprietor of Shepheard's Hotel, a London establishment steeped in outdated Edwardian style. She tolerates her eccentric, indebted guests and freely lends money to them, operating her business more like a chaotic private club than a professional hotel.

Mrs. Ape is a domineering Christian evangelist who travels with a troupe of young women named after virtues. She leverages religion for financial gain, passing the collection hat during moments of panic and treating her performers with harsh discipline behind closed doors.

Walter is a retired Prime Minister whose political career frequently takes a back seat to his romantic entanglements. He finds modern social cues confusing and constantly worries about the lack of respect shown by the younger generation toward national duty.

Father Rothschild is a well-connected priest who moves easily among politicians, socialites, and artists. He keeps a close eye on the social dynamics of the English elite and frequently offers unsolicited guidance to those in power.

Lady Metroland is an ambitious society hostess focused on securing her questionable status among the elite. She ruthlessly controls the guest lists for her extravagant events and casually suggests illicit employment for young women in her orbit.

John Brown is the acting Prime Minister of England. He struggles to maintain control over his own household, waking up to find his residence overrun by wild partygoers following his daughter's impromptu invitation.

Jane is the innocent young daughter of Prime Minister John Brown. In her naïveté, she eagerly invites a group of drunken revelers back to her home, completely unaware of the political scandal it will cause her father.

Lord Monomark is a powerful publishing magnate who wields absolute control over his writers. He frequently bans the mention of specific people or places in his papers based on personal slights or bad dining experiences.

Baroness Yoshiwara is the wife of a Japanese diplomat. She finds English courtship rituals baffling and is frequently put off by Walter Outrage's romantic advances.

Archie is a social climber who hosts extravagant events to attract the English peerage. His parties serve as the primary battlegrounds for gossip columnists trying to secure exclusive stories.

Chastity is a young woman employed by Mrs. Melrose Ape to represent a Christian virtue in her evangelical shows. She endures harsh treatment from her employer and views the chaotic world around her with a practical cynicism.

Edward is a young aristocrat locked into a socially approved engagement. He is admired by the older generation for appearing stable and grounded, despite secretly dreading his impending marriage.

The Duchess of Stayle is a young noblewoman experiencing immense pressure from her parents to go through with a sham marriage. Her engagement is viewed by society as a pillar of tradition.

Lord Vanburgh is an English peer who participates in the London party scene. He commiserates with fellow nobles about the dullness of high society while actively feeding information to the press.