The memoir When I Was Puerto Rican recounts author Esmeralda Santiago’s early years. It is the first of her three memoirs chronicling her childhood in Puerto Rico to her eventual residence in the United States. It is a coming-of-age story centered on questions of identity—national identity, hereditary identity, familial identity, female identity, spiritual identity, and semantic labels. Other work by this author includes the autobiography/memoir, Almost a Woman.

Content Warning: The source material and guide feature depictions of racism, gender discrimination, sexual content, sexual harassment, sexual violence, child sexual abuse, child abuse, child death, illness, death, bullying, self-harm, and graphic violence.

Plot Summary

The book begins in Puerto Rico, when Esmeralda is six years old. Esmeralda introduces the reader to her parents and her perpetually growing list of siblings—by the end of the book she is one of 11 children. Her parents, whom she refers to as Mami and Papi, have a rocky relationship. There are hints that Papi has been unfaithful, and he does not spend as much time at home as his children would like. The first third of the book shows Esmeralda’s growing awareness that the problems in her parents’ relationship have implications for anyone who chooses to marry. But it is Mami’s situation that prompts her to ask herself the biggest questions about what she and other women owe themselves. 

As the book progresses, Esmeralda grapples with bullying, puberty, mortality, and romance. In the second half of the book, Mami eventually reaches her limit with Papi and decides to move the children to New York. Once there, Esmeralda struggles to find a group to fit into. She is astonished to learn that children who were born in mainland America to Puerto Rican parents do not mix with those born in Puerto Rico, like Esmeralda.

Before her time in New York, Esmeralda has put little thought into her future beyond simply wanting to be in another place, or at times, in another family. By the end of the book, she is graduating from high school and is forced to confront two of the book’s major questions: “What do I want to do with my life?” and “Have I learned enough to do it?”