Where We Belong

Marian Caldwell is a 36-year-old television producer and showrunner of the hit series South Second Street, living in New York City. One evening, after her boyfriend Peter Standish, the CEO of her network, deflects her questions about marriage, she returns alone to her Upper East Side penthouse. When her intercom buzzes, she expects Peter but instead opens the door to find an 18-year-old girl named Kirby Rose, who announces, "I think you're my mother" (13). Marian recognizes Kirby's distinctive blue-gray eyes instantly: Kirby is the baby she gave up for adoption 18 years ago, a secret known only to Marian's mother.

The novel alternates between Marian's and Kirby's perspectives. A flashback to July 1995 recounts 18-year-old Marian's encounter with Conrad Knight, a mysterious, artistic classmate and musician with striking blue-gray eyes, at a party during a Chicago heat wave. That night, Marian lost her virginity to Conrad. Though he used a condom, he briefly entered her without one, and the encounter resulted in a pregnancy Marian would keep secret.

Kirby has grown up in St. Louis with her adoptive parents, Art and Lynn Rose, and her younger sister Charlotte. She has always known she was adopted, and her father once explained that the adoption agency would release her birth mother's information when Kirby turned 18. Throughout high school, Kirby struggles with her identity, feeling like an outsider. She retreats into drumming, her one true passion. One night, she overhears her parents speculating that her difficult temperament might stem from her birth parents' possible problems, which devastates her. On her 18th birthday, she contacts the agency, receives Marian's name, and secretly takes a Greyhound bus to Manhattan.

Marian invites Kirby inside, and the two begin an awkward conversation. Marian learns basic facts about Kirby's life but cannot move beyond small talk. After Kirby goes to bed, Peter comes over and Marian confesses her secret. Peter is shaken but says he still loves her. Marian, however, withholds one critical detail: She never told Kirby's birth father about the pregnancy.

Over the next two days, Marian takes Kirby sightseeing and shopping, acting more as a tour guide than a mother and avoiding real conversation about Kirby's origins. At work, Kirby surprises the writers' room by performing "Rapper's Delight" with elaborate table drumming. On her last night in New York, Kirby asks about her birth father. Marian reveals his name, Conrad Knight, and shows Kirby the only photograph she has of them together. She then confesses that she never told Conrad about the pregnancy. He does not know Kirby exists. Kirby is stunned and hurt.

A flashback details Marian and Conrad's three-and-a-half-week summer relationship. The two became inseparable, keeping their bond secret. When Marian's period was late, Conrad bought a pregnancy test. Marian saw the positive result but lied, telling him it was negative. Flooded with relief, Conrad told her he loved her for the first time. She said nothing and soon broke up with him, citing the end of summer and her departure for the University of Michigan. Marian confessed the pregnancy to her mother, Pamela, who helped schedule an abortion, but on the table, Marian could not go through with it. She deferred college, hid at the family's lake house in Wisconsin, and gave birth on April 1. After three agonizing days with the baby she named Katherine, she signed the adoption consent.

Back in the present, Kirby returns to St. Louis and reveals to her parents where she has been. She mails back the expensive clothes Marian bought her with a polite note explaining they are not her style. Marian calls to apologize for shopping instead of talking, and the two share their first genuinely honest moment, agreeing to figure out their relationship together. When Marian tells Peter that Conrad does not know about Kirby, Peter is deeply troubled, arguing that a man has a right to know about his own child. The couple essentially separates, though Peter continues managing Marian's show.

Meanwhile, Kirby confides in her school guidance counselor, Mr. Tully, who encourages her to find Conrad. She also begins dating Philip Chang, a senior from another school whom her best friend Belinda introduced. When Marian's mother Pamela visits New York, she reveals that Marian's father Jim has known about the pregnancy and adoption all along. Jim wanted Marian to keep the baby and even offered to help raise her. The secret created a lasting rift in her parents' marriage and in the once-close relationship between Marian and her father.

Kirby discovers that Belinda has shoplifted a prom dress. She calls Marian for advice, and Marian tells her to confront Belinda, her first decisive act of parenting. When Belinda refuses to return the dress, their friendship ruptures. Kirby decides to skip prom and instead travel to Chicago with Marian to meet Conrad and Marian's parents.

In Chicago, Marian has a profound conversation with her father at Gillson Park, their first without the barrier of their shared secret. Jim tells her he was never disappointed in her and cannot wait to meet his granddaughter. Kirby arrives at the Caldwell home and bonds immediately with Jim, who shares her big ears and dry humor. Marian then drives Kirby toward Conrad's address in Lincoln Park. Along the way, at her friend Janie Wattenberg's childhood home, Marian impulsively tells Janie's mother that Kirby is her daughter, feeling liberated by the honesty. They find Conrad on the sidewalk outside his brownstone. At a nearby café, Marian delivers her confession: She lied about the pregnancy test, had the baby, and gave her away. Conrad is shocked and angry. When he realizes Kirby is his daughter, he whispers, "My kid?" (302). He takes Kirby's number and leaves abruptly.

That evening, Conrad texts Kirby and invites her to Zelda's, the bar he owns on Rush Street, which features live music every night. There, father and daughter bond over music, trading favorite bands and discussing drumming. Conrad invites Kirby onstage for an open mic set; she drums while he plays guitar and sings. The crowd gives them a standing ovation, and Conrad introduces Kirby as his daughter. Back at the Caldwell home, Kirby tells Marian that Conrad confided Marian was "the love of his life." Marian is deeply affected but says nothing.

In St. Louis, Kirby reconciles with Belinda and grows closer to Philip. Peter helps save South Second Street from cancellation, and he and Marian reconcile. He proposes, and they go ring shopping. But at a lavish engagement party, Marian tells Peter she cannot marry him. Meeting Kirby and confronting her past has changed her, and she wants something more authentic, even if it is messier. Peter accepts her decision.

On graduation day at the Cathedral Basilica in St. Louis, Marian, Conrad, and Kirby's family all come together. Conrad gives Kirby sheet music for a song he wrote for her, complete with a drum solo, expecting her to play it with him over the summer. At the Rose home afterward, everyone looks through 18 years of Kirby's photographs. Kirby watches her birth parents and adoptive parents together and experiences a powerful feeling of belonging.

After the gathering, Conrad drives Marian to her hotel. Over a drink, they have their most honest conversation in 18 years. Conrad tells her he hates what she did but is trying not to hate her. He recites the closing line of The Great Gatsby about being "borne back ceaselessly into the past" (371), revealing he named his bar after Fitzgerald's wife Zelda. Marian echoes Conrad's own words from the night they met: "You can run, but you can't hide" (371). He leaves without promising anything but without closing the door. Alone at the bar, Marian feels at peace, envisioning a new story about a musician and his spirited daughter, content not to know where the current will take her.