Agnes of God

Agnes’s singing continues as Dr. Livingstone speaks, reflecting on her personal history and its influence on her attitudes. She recalls frequent arguments with her mother during childhood, particularly about religion. At one point, she told her mother that God is a “moronic fairy tale” (29), which provoked a strong reaction. She describes how her mother treated such statements as personal attacks.

Dr. Livingstone recounts a later period in her life when she became engaged to a Frenchman named Maurice, whom her mother disliked. This opposition intensified her attachment to him. Their relationship ended after Dr. Livingstone became pregnant. She explains that she did not want to continue the pregnancy or follow a path similar to her mother’s, while Maurice held a different view, leading to their separation.

She then recalls an incident from her mother’s later years, when her mother’s mental state had declined. In anger, Dr. Livingstone told her mother that God was dead. Her mother responded by kneeling and praying for God’s soul. Dr. Livingstone states that she was never deeply devout; her doubts began early, and her sister Marie’s death caused her to abandon religion entirely. She notes that her mother never forgave her for this decision and that she, in turn, never forgave the Church.