Miss Rehana is a young, beautiful woman living in South Asia who seeks a British passport at the consulate. Her late parents arranged her engagement to a man in London whom she barely knows, yet she displays a strong-willed independence. She remains calm and thoroughly skeptical of shortcuts, finding contentment in her present reality rather than chasing foreign illusions.

Muhammad Ali is an elderly man who frequents the consulate to run a weekly scam on women desperate to emigrate. He relies on his deceptive promises of legal passports to make a living, selling a fantasy of Western escape. Despite his cynical profession, he is surprisingly moved by those who defy his expectations.

Ramani is a young, good-looking rickshaw driver whom many fellow villagers consider foolish and naive. He possesses a vivid imagination and an unwavering desire to please the older widow he wishes to marry. To secure her affection, he enthusiastically volunteers for a controversial government sterilization program in exchange for a promised transistor radio.

Hashim is a wealthy, pragmatic moneylender who runs a strict but orderly household based on scientific principles. Originally an atheist who values logic and numbers, his personality shifts drastically after he retrieves a stolen religious relic. He becomes dangerously obsessed with the item, abandoning his previous rationalism to enforce terrifying new rules on his family.

Hashim's son, who initially keeps his father's secret regarding the stolen religious relic. As his father's behavior grows erratic and tyrannical, Atta takes desperate, fearful measures to restore peace to his household.

Hashim's brave and cunning daughter. Unwilling to remain a passive victim in her own home, she ventures into the city's dark alleys to hire a professional burglar, using her wits and family connections for protection.

King Horwendillus's jester in an alternate retelling of the classic tragedy. He acts as a surrogate parent and chief entertainer to a young, lonely prince who relies heavily on him for affection. Despite his comedic role, his position makes him highly vulnerable to court politics and a child's dangerous jealousy.

A lonely, seven-year-old Danish prince who feels emotionally neglected by his royal parents. He relies heavily on the court jester for affection but harbors intense jealousy and a growing resentment toward the adults around him, fundamentally misunderstanding their adult interactions.

A lovesick individual who emerges from a larger crowd to pursue a famous pair of cinematic shoes. He is driven by a desperate belief that attaining this fantastical artifact will help him win back his former partner and restore his lost sense of home.

The narrator's former partner who broke his heart by sleeping with an actor. Over time, she has become less of a real person and more of an idealized fabrication in the narrator's mind, representing his ultimate longing for belonging and affection.

An ambitious explorer seeking funding for an unprecedented ocean voyage. He brashly attempts to use the language of romance and seduction to secure the financial backing he needs to cross the Atlantic, blurring the lines between economic greed and emotional desire.

The powerful monarch of Spain who holds the keys to westward expansion. She enjoys manipulating court dynamics, deliberately stringing her ambitious petitioner along while seeking an empire that spans both known and unknown worlds.

The narrator of his tale, a man who feels torn between his Indian roots and British present. He serves as a devoted, if sometimes wary, pupil to his brilliant but deeply troubled best friend, frequently getting swept up in grandiose philosophies to mask his own internal disharmony.

A highly intelligent writer living with paranoid schizophrenia. He constantly seeks to cure his own mental unrest by studying mysticism and philosophy, pulling his friends into his erratic orbit of suspicion and charm.

An undercover agent for the India Secret Service operating in the United Kingdom. He is a cerebral, academic man who relies on deep bonds of friendship and shared pop-culture references to anchor himself in a dangerous profession.

Chekov's lifelong friend and fellow operative. More athletic and action-oriented than his partner, he views his covert work through the lens of epic fantasy and science fiction, though extreme political realities heavily weigh on him.

A man who reflects on his youth spent bridging South Asian and British cultures. Growing up with an intense desire to escape his strict father, he looks back nostalgically at the surrogate figures who offered warmth and stability during his childhood in London.

An earnest, caring Indian woman who acts as a surrogate mother to the narrator and his siblings. She struggles with English pronunciation but communicates her deep affections clearly through shared hobbies and quiet devotions.

Mustafa Dar is a man living in London who was promised to Miss Rehana when they were children. He represents the detached, unappealing reality of the arranged marriage waiting for her in the West.

An older, self-appointed voice of reason in the village who frequently questions his younger neighbor's choices. He holds a rigidly logical worldview and attempts to intervene when he thinks others are being foolish. Over time, he finds himself slowly captivated by the very imaginative fantasies he originally criticized.

An older widow with five children who captures a young rickshaw driver's affections. She is highly pragmatic about her future and adamantly opposed to having any more children, a boundary that drives her suitor to make drastic personal choices.

Hashim's wife and the mother of Atta and Huma. She faces immense psychological strain as her husband abruptly enforces rigid, unpredictable rules on the family and confesses to past infidelities.

A notorious professional thief hired to infiltrate a wealthy home. He is cautious and demands specific details before taking on highly confidential jobs, carrying out his work under the cover of darkness.

The blind wife of the professional thief, Sín. Her condition isolates her from his illicit work, but she remains deeply connected to the consequences of his actions.

A scholarly storyteller who claims to have uncovered an alternative version of Shakespeare's Hamlet recorded on vellum. He fields questions from a skeptical audience while presenting a heavily revised history of the Danish court.

The imposing king of Denmark and Hamlet's distant father. His complex, private relationship with his wife deeply unsettles his young son, leading to disastrous misinterpretations of his behavior.

The queen of Denmark and Hamlet's mother. Her evening activities with her husband inadvertently spark her young son's violent imagination.

A man who eventually marries Queen Gertrude, stepping into a royal household already fractured by jealousy and misplaced revenge.

Yorick's wife, whose marriage to the odd-looking jester surprises many in the court. She becomes an unwitting pawn in a young prince's elaborate schemes of revenge, suffering for crimes she did not commit.

Eliot's wife and a photojournalist living in Wales. She must constantly manage her husband's severe delusions and volatile moods, relying heavily on their mutual friends for support during his darkest episodes.

A mutual friend of Khan, Eliot, and Lucy who joins them for social outings. She acts as an observer to the group's intense and complicated interpersonal dynamics.

Zulu's wife, who remains largely excluded from the realities of her husband's covert operations. She is deeply skeptical of the childish code names her husband and his partner use to conduct serious state business.

A gentle hall porter who forms a tender connection with a tenant's nanny. He is deeply devoted to his courtship, engaging in quiet games of chess as a form of flirtation in an otherwise chaotic city.