Eric

Set on the Discworld, a flat world carried through space on the backs of four elephants standing on the shell of a giant turtle, Terry Pratchett's novel follows the hapless wizard Rincewind and a teenage demonologist named Eric through misadventures involving three wishes, ancient wars, the creation of the universe, and the bureaucratic depths of Hell.

In his private realm between realities, Death, the skeletal personification of mortality, senses a tremor while tending his bees. In Ankh-Morpork, the Discworld's largest city, something invisible tears through the streets, disrupting magic. At Unseen University, the premier college of wizardry, Archchancellor Ezrolith Churn, the institution's head wizard and a 98-year-old who never wanted the job, offers little help. The Bursar, one of the university's administrative wizards, reluctantly performs the Rite of AshkEnte, a ritual that summons Death himself. Death reveals that the disturbances are caused by Rincewind, a wizard of extraordinary incompetence who was blasted into the Dungeon Dimensions, chaotic wastelands outside space and time, during a previous magical crisis. Rincewind is trying to get home, which requires a million-to-one conjunction of circumstances. The Bursar is relieved, assuming Rincewind will not survive.

But the million-to-one chance occurs. Rincewind wakes on the floor of a room filled with bubbling glassware, a skeleton on a hook, and a decrepit parrot on a perch. He is trapped inside a carefully drawn magic circle. His captor, Eric Thursley, hides behind a table waving a sword etched with magical symbols and demands that Rincewind, whom he takes for a summoned demon, grant three wishes: mastery of the kingdoms of the world, the most beautiful woman who has ever lived, and eternal life. Rincewind insists he is just a wizard and offers to fetch mints from the shops instead, but when he tries to leave the circle, magical sparks shock him back. Because he entered through the demon-summoning process, he is bound by its rules. Rincewind soon discovers that Eric is not an elderly occultist but a boy of nearly 14 wearing a false beard. The parrot, which turns out to be alive rather than stuffed, explains Eric's background: He is a bright, spoiled child from a wealthy family, playing with his dead grandfather's occult equipment.

In Hell, Astfgl, the ambitious new Demon King, is furious. He had planned for Duke Vassenego, an elder demon, to materialize before Eric and corrupt the boy, but Rincewind slipped through the summoning circle first. Astfgl, a modernizer who favors red silk cloaks and office furniture over traditional demonic trappings, resolves to take a personal interest.

Back in Eric's room, the Luggage, Rincewind's sentient, many-legged travel chest made of magical wood, drops out of the air. Eric takes its arrival as proof of demonic power and repeats his demands. Rincewind snaps his fingers in exasperation. To his shock, they are transported a thousand miles above the Disc, floating in space with the whole world below. Eric demands tribute. Rincewind snaps his fingers again, and they land in the jungles of central Klatch.

They emerge near the Tezuman Empire, a civilization of stepped pyramids devoted to mass human sacrifice in honor of their god Quezovercoatl, the Feathered Boa. Dignitaries arrive and grovel before Eric, whom they seem to have been expecting. Communication is painfully slow because Rincewind can read the Tezuman language but cannot speak it, so all exchanges must pass through their stone-carving writing system. Eric is paraded into the city, showered with jewels, and enthroned. Rincewind, suspicious of the warm reception, explores the main pyramid and discovers a prisoner in a pit: Ponce da Quirm, an elderly explorer who spent his life searching for the Fountain of Youth. Da Quirm reveals that the pyramid walls contain the Tezumen's complete recorded history, including graphic depictions of what they plan to do to the prophesied Ruler of the World. Rincewind finds his own likeness carved on the next block.

An escape attempt fails, and Rincewind, Eric, and da Quirm are tied to sacrificial slabs atop the pyramid. At the same moment, the Luggage charges up the pyramid and Quezovercoatl materializes, revealing himself to be only six inches tall. Before he can speak, the Luggage lands on him, squashing him flat. The Tezumen, seeing their god reduced to a greasy spot, free the captives and begin worshipping the Luggage instead. Rincewind gives the parrot to da Quirm and hurries Eric away.

Their next transport drops them inside a massive wooden horse, the famous stratagem of the ancient Tsortean Wars, a conflict fought over the beautiful Elenor. Eric is thrilled at the prospect of meeting the legendary beauty. Tsortean soldiers capture them, but the Luggage smashes through the city gates, and Rincewind talks the guard into running off to join the fighting. Soldiers from Ephebe, the rival city in the war, bring Rincewind and Eric before Lavaeolus, a wiry, cynical captain who designed the wooden horse. Lavaeolus leads a small party, including Rincewind and Eric, through a supply tunnel into the citadel. Inside, they find Elenor: not the legendary beauty Eric expected, but a plump, middle-aged woman with at least seven children fathered by King Mausoleum during the long siege. Eric is devastated.

Lavaeolus invites Elenor to leave before the city burns. Rincewind accidentally starts the fire by tripping over the Luggage and dropping a lamp. On the beach, Lavaeolus confides his anxiety about the voyage home. Rincewind, knowing Lavaeolus will endure 10 years of ordeals, tells him only that he gets home safely. Eric reveals that "Lavaeolus" translates to "Rinser of Winds," suggesting Lavaeolus may be Rincewind's ancestor. Rincewind snaps his fingers again.

They arrive in absolute nothingness, a void before the creation of the universe. A small, ordinary-looking man appears and explains he is not "the" Creator but "a" creator, a craftsman who specializes in bespoke work like trees and snowflakes. He reads from a book, and the Discworld appears. Rincewind and Eric land safely on a pristine beach, where Eric realizes the horrifying literal truth of his wish to live forever: It means starting from the very beginning of time, with no people and no civilization.

Rincewind has Eric use his demonological knowledge to draw a magic circle in the sand and run it in reverse. Instead of returning them home, the technique deposits them before the gates of Hell. Inside, Astfgl has transformed Hell from traditional torments into something far worse. He discovered that bodiless souls can simply refuse to feel physical pain, so he replaced fire and brimstone with bureaucratic boredom: A man once sentenced to have an eagle peck out his liver now endures the eagle describing its hernia operation. Demons show the damned vacation photographs. On a pointless treadmill, Rincewind finds da Quirm, who died after drinking unboiled water from the Fountain of Youth, and Lavaeolus, who reveals that a back exit exists on the far side of the caverns. The Luggage accelerates the treadmill until it breaks free and rolls across Hell toward the exit.

Astfgl seizes Rincewind and Eric, dragging them to the great hall for punishment. Before he can act, Duke Vassenego and the senior demon lords stage an intervention, announcing a new title for Astfgl: Supreme Life President of Hell. Vassenego appeals to Astfgl's vanity, promising an enormous office with thick carpets, colored marker pens, and the grand task of producing a complete analysis of Hell's priorities. Seduced by the trappings of authority, Astfgl allows himself to be led away, forgetting Rincewind entirely. The novel reveals that Vassenego orchestrated the entire chain of events, using Rincewind as an unwitting distraction. The wish-granting power was never in Rincewind's fingers; Vassenego was pulling the strings all along. The old demon lords restore the traditional tortures.

With all attention on Astfgl's promotion, Rincewind and Eric walk calmly to the back exit, climbing broad stone steps inscribed with phrases like "I Meant It For The Best" and "For the Sake of the Children," good intentions literally paving the road out of Hell. They step through a wall and into the world. The Tezumen poison their priests and adopt atheism. Astfgl sits alone in his massive office, unable to reach anyone through his speaking tube, surrounded by paperwork, potted plants, and desk toys, writing his first policy note. This, too, is described as happiness of a sort.