Me (Moth) (2021) is a YA novel-in-verse by American author Amber McBride. It traces the main character Moth’s transformative relationship with her Diné classmate Sani in the wake of tragedy. Two years prior to meeting Sani, Moth’s parents and brother died in a car accident. Now living with her aunt in Virginia, Moth is unable to overcome her sorrow. Sani has struggles of his own, and the two readily connect, offering each other friendship, guidance, and support. Written from Moth’s first-person point of view and in a series of poems, the novel explores themes including Friendship and Love as Pathways to Healing, Cultural Inheritance as a Form of Self-Recognition, and The Enduring Nature of Grief.

This guide uses the 2021 Feiwel and Friends hardback edition.

Content Warning: Both the source text and this guide include sexual content, cursing, and depictions of graphic violence, domestic violence, emotional abuse, physical abuse, child abuse, bullying, substance use and dependency, racial discrimination, disordered eating, suicidal ideation, self-harm, child-death, and death.

Plot Summary

17-year-old Moth has been living in Virginia with her maternal aunt, Jack, since her parents, Jim and Marcia, and her brother, Zachary, died in a car accident two years prior. The family was on their way from their home in New York City to see Aunt Jack in Virginia when the accident happened; Moth was the only survivor. Blaming herself for her loved ones’ deaths, Moth feels perpetually sad and alone.

In Virginia, Moth also feels like an outsider. She is one of the only Black students at her school. Her classmates bully her and are condescending towards her. At home, her aunt has resorted to drinking excessive amounts of alcohol and getting upset with Moth to cope with her own despair. As the school year winds down for the summer, Moth is filled with dread.

Then one day, she meets a new boy named Sani on the bus ride home. Sani is Diné and has just moved to Virginia to live with his white mother and his new stepfather. His Diné father is still living back in New Mexico. Moth is intrigued by Sani, particularly by his tattoos, his hair, and his marked musical talent. The two start talking at school and connecting over their shared familial difficulties and mutual love for singing and dancing. One day, Moth admits that she doesn’t dance anymore (she stopped after the accident because of her survivor’s guilt), but it used to make her feel alive.

After school lets out for the summer, Aunt Jack gets upset with Moth for being sad all of the time and yells at her family’s urns that she is leaving town for the summer. Moth isn’t sure if she should believe her, but in the morning, her aunt is gone. She decides to throw a raucous house party as revenge, but no one shows up. She races down the block to confront Sani for not coming, and accidentally eavesdrops on his fight with his mother and stepfather. Moth feels her heart breaking as she watches Sani’s dad attack him while his mother stands idly by. Unnerved, Moth races home and sits outside alone until Sani comes over to see her, apologizing for being distant and sympathizing with her aunt’s abandonment.

After another altercation with his stepdad the next day, Sani flees to Moth’s house. She comforts and holds him. Then Sani asks if she will run away with him: He wants to drive to New Mexico to see his father. Moth has been scared of cars since the accident, but agrees.

Moth and Sani head out on their road trip in Sani’s Jeep. Moth feels more hopeful than she has in a long time. Along the way, the two stop at historical sites and ancestral landmarks. They spend the night at motels or in the back of the Jeep under the stars. They start writing a song together, swap stories from their respective Hoodoo and Diné cultures, and commiserate over their mutual despair. Moth opens up about her recent trauma, and Sani tells Moth more about his family situation and his unspecified mental illness, for which he sometimes takes medication. The more time they spend together, the deeper their love for each other grows. At times, they feel as if their connection was fated or as if they’ve known each other for many years.

Eventually, Moth and Sani arrive in New Mexico. Moth is glad to meet Sani’s father but is distressed by his seeming lack of interest in her and refusal to acknowledge her. She also notices that he is upset with Sani, particularly for not taking his medication and for letting Moth distract him. The two set out on a camping trip to escape Sani’s father’s frustration.

While out camping, Moth and Sani continue to share stories and talk about life. Sani confides in Moth that all he wants to do is write songs, play guitar, and become an accomplished musician, but feels that he can’t because his family doesn’t believe in him, and he doesn’t like taking his pills. Moth reminds him he can’t chase his dreams if he doesn’t take care of himself first. The two end up playing music together around a campfire, and Moth dances for the first time since the car accident. The dance feels freeing, but she tells Sani she can’t let herself do it again.

Back at Sani’s dad’s house, Sani’s dad confronts Sani. He reveals that he and Moth’s late grandfather used to be friends. Before his death, her grandfather tasked Sani’s father with bringing Sani and Moth together so they might help each other. Then he reveals that Moth is in fact a ghost: She died in the same accident that killed her family. Sani’s dad urges Sani to help Moth cross over to the spirit world.

Moth is reeling from Sani’s dad’s revelations, but she soon realizes that he is right. She is overcome by memories of the accident and of her grandfather’s Hoodoo teachings. She and Sani talk about what they now know and decide to help each other. Ultimately, Sani brings Moth back to New York and helps her cross the threshold into the spirit world. Moth is sad to leave Sani, but her grandfather is waiting for her at the border and helps her to the other side.

10 years later, Sani has become an accomplished musician. He performs a concert at Madison Square Garden, singing the song he and Moth wrote together on their trip a decade prior.