Gather initial thoughts and broad opinions about the book.

1. Anna Quindlen is known for her ability to write slice-of-life stories of female experience. Which female character did you connect with most? Why?

2. Discuss the ending. How could Quindlen’s decision to end with the surprise pregnancy be considered controversial or disliked by some readers?

3. Quindlen’s last book, After Annie, was written from multiple points of view. Why was it important that Polly alone tell this story?

Encourage readers to connect the book’s themes and characters with their personal experiences.

1. Reflect on Polly’s experience with caregiving for both her father and Sarah. Have you ever been in the role of caregiver? How did Polly’s journey compare to yours?

2. Consider Sarah’s request for Polly not to share her terminal diagnosis with the book club. Have you ever had a friend ask you to keep a painful secret? How did you manage the emotional weight of that burden?

3. Like Polly, have you ever made an unexpected discovery about your biological family? Did the revelation alter your sense of self or your relationships with family members?

4. Analyze Polly’s experience with students passing through her classroom each year and connecting with some more than others. Share about a teacher who left a lasting impact on your life or who you remained in contact with and/or reconnected with in young adulthood.

Examine the book’s relevance to societal issues, historical events, or cultural themes.

1. Discuss the potential legal, moral, and ethical implications of online DNA testing. How can this modern invention be both helpful and harmful to some?

2. Analyze the book’s portrayal of the process of trying to conceive, infertility treatment, and pregnancy loss. How does the story reflect the distinctly female experience of physical and emotional distress in this process, along with feelings of inadequacy as both a partner and a woman?

3. Consider Polly’s experience with having her father live in a memory care facility. How does the novel portray the real experience of families navigating finding the appropriate care for loved ones with progressive dementia?

Dive into the book’s structure, characters, themes, and symbolism.

1. Analyze Polly’s first-person narration. How does Quindlen use her interiority to reveal the larger themes in the novel?

2. Discuss Mark’s steady presence in Polly’s life and how he contrasts with the uncertainty she faces in every other area of her life.

3. Analyze the novel’s portrayal of the often-fraught mother-daughter relationship. What is at the heart of Polly and her mother’s conflict, and how does this affect Polly’s realization of The Many Faces of Motherhood?

4. Discuss Polly’s unique relationship with her brother, Garrison. How does he both support his sister and challenge some of her beliefs?

5. Trace the animal motif throughout the novel, including Mark’s profession and Barbara’s alpacas.

6. Discuss the symbolism of Sarah’s garden, both the transplanted one at Lou’s home and the one she leaves at the cottage for Polly.

Encourage imaginative and creative connections to the book.

1. Make a list of all the poems mentioned in the story. Read aloud the poetry selections Polly shared and studied with her students.

2. Create a map of all the significant places in the novel and discuss how they are important to Polly and her journey. Consider Windsor School, Bronx Zoo, Earthside Farm, Edgemere, Mark’s family home, and Sarah’s cottage.