Throughout the novel, Anna Quindlen provides many perspectives on and variants of motherhood. In Lou, she offers the quintessential mother, one who delights in every facet of raising children and grandchildren. Mary contrasts with Lou’s deep maternal instinct, as she was dissatisfied with being only a mother and chose to pursue a demanding career that often kept her from her family. Emily occupies a middle ground between the two. She is devoted to her children yet honest about the strain of balancing work and motherhood, unwilling to romanticize it. Even the minor characters facilitate Quindlen’s exploration of motherhood; Josephine’s mother offers a portrait of maternal courage as she defies her husband’s expectations to protect her daughter. Amid all these women, Polly remains childless, waiting to discover when, or if, she will ever have the chance to become a mother herself.

Polly’s infertility is a defining tension in her life. Surrounded by women who are already mothers, she measures herself against a role that is slipping out of her reach. The longer she waits, the more her empty womb begins to feel permanent. Fertility treatments take over Polly’s body and every facet of her life, including her marriage. She says, “Inhospitable. That’s what they called my body for the purposes of pregnancy” (44). The remark highlights the moralization of the ability to have children, particularly for women; Polly internalizes her infertility as a failure. Simultaneously, every moment of her existence revolves around what her body is or (most likely) isn’t doing, which leaves her feeling disconnected from it. Her strained relationship with Mary further complicates her journey into motherhood, as Polly longs for a baby and can’t reconcile that longing with the emotional distance she’s always felt from her mother.

The women in Polly’s life teach her that motherhood is not a unified experience and that there is no perfect version of the role—and therefore nothing to “fail” at. Through Lou, Mary, Emily, and others, Quindlen shows that there is no single way to be a mother and no guarantee that motherhood brings fulfillment or contentment. Motherhood will not resolve Polly’s uncertainty about herself or her relationship with her mother. That work she must do herself, something that both Garrison and Mark encourage as they push her to release her resentment. As Mark says, “You didn’t want to connect the dots because they all led to your mother, the one person you can’t deal with” (214). Polly must accept that she doesn’t have to measure herself against some ideal, hers or anyone else’s, and that a baby doesn’t fix everything.

Quindlen also elevates the work of being a woman, whether as a daughter, a sister, or a friend, to a level as demanding and necessary as being a mother. Polly begins to realize that she has already been occupying a kind of maternal role, particularly in her work as a teacher and in her relationships with students like Josephine. Josephine’s trust in Polly and Polly’s influence on her students reveal that care, guidance, and emotional presence are not limited to biological motherhood. In the end, Quindlen suggests that motherhood is just one expression of love and responsibility; how someone nurtures those around them defines them just as much as any child they might bear.