Once and Again

Rebecca Serle

58 pages 1-hour read

Rebecca Serle

Once and Again

Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 2026

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Character Analysis

Content Warning: The section of the guide references infertility and pregnancy loss, sexual content, antisemitism, violence, and illness or death.

Lauren Novak

As the protagonist of the novel, Lauren grapples with The Tension Between Acceptance and Control across her arc. A round and dynamic character, her journey is an exploration of what it means to live in the present rather than attempting to rewrite the past. Professionally, Lauren is an accountant, a career that mirrors her psychological need for order, predictability, and the avoidance of catastrophe. This desire for control is amplified by her personal struggles, most notably her and her husband Leo’s painful journey with infertility and the weight of her family’s greatest secret: the silver ticket. Initially, she perceives the ticket as an ultimate safety net, a power to be held in reserve for the worst possible outcome. However, her anxieties, particularly her fear of loss, rooted in the knowledge that her mother saved her father from a fatal car crash, make her hypervigilant and unable to fully embrace the present.


Lauren’s marriage to Leo is grounded and loving, but becomes strained by the immense pressure of fertility treatments, which highlights the limits of her control. Her ex-boyfriend, Stone, represents a past self, one she deeply associates with the ocean and a more spontaneous way of living. His return forces a confrontation with her present choices and leads to her impulsive decision to use her ticket to erase an act of infidelity. This choice acts as a turning point in her development that introduces The Illusory Nature of Second Chances. While it gives her the chance to save her marriage, erasing her infidelity doesn’t erase her memory of it. It also leaves her powerless when a greater crisis arises with her father’s health. The do-over does not solve her problems; it simply exchanges one for another, highlighting the idea that controlling the past cannot prevent future pain.


Lauren’s transformation centers on her shift from control to acceptance. The revelation that her mother used her own ticket to save Lauren, not her father, reframes her entire existence and the source of her family’s anxiety. Lauren’s ability to accept her father’s decision to say goodbye rather than use the ticket and change their past signifies the completion of her arc. The novel’s epilogue emphasizes Lauren’s growth through her new perspective: “Life isn’t one thing […] But somehow, sometimes, we are able to carry on. Maybe. And that’s the magic, isn’t it? Not the ticket. Not the trick of turning back the clock. The magic is living with it. The magic is living through it” (241). Lauren learns that true strength lies not in erasing the past or dictating the future, but in accepting life’s inevitable sorrows and finding peace within the present moment.

Marcella Novak

Marcella is a character defined by a single, life-altering choice to save her daughter’s life and the profound trauma left in the wake of that choice. As Lauren’s mother, she functions as a source of both immense love and stifling anxiety, her personality having been fundamentally reshaped by the secret she carries. On the surface, Marcella is a nervous and overprotective woman whose primary focus is the health and safety of her husband, Dave. Her constant worry, which often manifests as a need for control, creates a palpable tension within the family and strains her relationship with Lauren.


Marcella’s backstory reveals her to be a dynamic and round character whose present-day anxieties are a response to her past. Having experienced the ultimate loss—the death of her child—and taking her opportunity to undo it, she’s left in a state of perpetual fear, knowing that she has no more magical interventions to save her loved ones. She creates a fictional story about saving Dave to shield Lauren from the traumatic knowledge of her own death, but in doing so, she inadvertently passes down the weight of the secret, contributing to the theme of Intergenerational Inheritance of Trauma and Strength. Her actions demonstrate that while she can alter an event, she cannot erase its emotional fallout. Her deep-seated fear governs her entire life, making her risk-averse and unable to trust in the natural unfolding of life, a stark contrast to her own mother, Sylvia.


Marcella’s motivations are rooted in a fierce, protective love. Every decision and anxious warning stems from her desire to prevent any further tragedy from befalling her family. When she reveals the truth to Lauren, it represents a moment of vulnerability that recasts her character as a figure of tragic depth. She tells Lauren, “I’m your mother. It has always been my job to protect you” (201). This statement encapsulates the way she sees herself, explaining decades of worry and depression and finally allowing for a moment of true connection and understanding with her daughter.

Sylvia Steiner

Sylvia, Lauren’s grandmother and Marcella’s mother, is a round and largely static character whose wisdom is a product of a rich and adventurous past that informs her philosophy of acceptance. In direct contrast to Marcella’s anxiety, Sylvia embodies a free-spirited and pragmatic approach to life’s unpredictability. She acts as a mentor figure for Lauren, offering a perspective that privileges living in the moment over attempting to control it. Her consistent presence in the Malibu house, a symbol of family history, and her love of cooking establish her as the grounding force of the Novak family, despite her private and enigmatic nature.


Sylvia’s most significant character trait is her wisdom, expressed through her relationship to her silver ticket. For decades, she has allowed her daughter and granddaughter to believe she had used it on a frivolous or long-forgotten event, hiding the truth that it remains untouched. This secret is the key to her entire worldview. Sylvia’s decision not to use her ticket represents a profound belief in accepting life as it comes, with all its pain and imperfections. She explains her philosophy to Lauren, stating, “Life moved only forward. I didn’t want to tamper with it” (213). The novel frames this act of restraint as one of strength and intentionality rather than passivity, positioning her as a foil to Marcella, who used her ticket out of love and grief and subsequently lived with constant fear.


By gifting her unused ticket to Lauren, Sylvia performs her final act as a mentor. This transfer is the culmination of the family’s legacy, a bestowal of ultimate responsibility. It provides Lauren with the opportunity to make a choice free from the generational trauma that has defined her family legacy. Sylvia’s story, revealed late in the novel, about choosing to keep her daughter, Marcella, rather than using the ticket to undo the death of the man she loved, reinforces her core belief. Sylvia represents the novel’s core argument that peace is found not in avoiding loss, but in embracing the life that unfolds from it.

Dave Novak

Serle characterizes Dave, Lauren’s father and Marcella’s husband, as a kind, life-affirming man defined by his deep love for his family and the ocean. His physical vitality, expressed through his lifelong passion for surfing, stands in stark contrast to his underlying heart condition that undergirds the narrative stakes and makes him the focus of his wife’s and daughter’s protection and anxiety. Though a relatively static character, he impacts Lauren’s growth, encouraging her to live in the present rather than attempting to control it.


Marcella’s fabricated story that she used her ticket to save Dave from a car accident shapes Lauren’s perception of her father as someone who has already cheated death once, intensifying her need to protect him. However, when faced with his own mortality, Dave refuses Lauren’s offer to go back and fix his heart, arguing that doing so would erase a decade of precious memories. “I don’t want to take it back,” he insists. “I loved that decade. I loved my life” (220). This decision serves as the final lesson for Lauren, demonstrating that a life’s worth is measured by the experiences it contains, not by its length or its freedom from pain.

Leo

Leo, Lauren’s husband, serves as her anchor to reality in the novel’s present with all its complexities and challenges. A round character, he is portrayed as gentle, supportive, and deeply in love with his wife. However, he is also pragmatic and becomes increasingly worn down by the emotional and financial toll of their prolonged struggle with infertility. Unlike the Novak women, Leo is not privy to the existence of the silver ticket, and his perspective is therefore grounded in the real-world limitations that Lauren often hopes to magically transcend. His exhaustion with the fertility process creates the central rift in their marriage.


As a foil to Stone, Leo represents a mature, committed love rather than the nostalgic passion of the past. His frustration with Lauren’s all-consuming desire for a child serves as a plea to embrace the life they already have together. His blunt declaration that they should stop trying is a catalyst for Lauren’s infidelity, which in turn leads her to use her ticket. When Lauren later confesses the truth of her infidelity, Leo’s reaction underscores the novel’s theme of accepting imperfection. His response, “I have no idea how I’ll get past this. […] But I want to” (236), suggests that true healing comes not from magical erasure but from the difficult, conscious choice to forgive and move forward together.

Stone Morrow

Stone, Lauren’s first love, represents her past. Their reconnection in the novel’s present is a catalyst for Lauren’s central crisis. As the man with whom she shared a decade of her youth, Stone represents a life of passion, freedom, and deep connection to the ocean. He is a round character whose reappearance in Malibu is driven by the impending loss of his stepmother, Bonnie, grounding his return in real-world sorrow. His presence forces Lauren to confront the path she did not take and the person she used to be, triggering a wave of nostalgia and regret that destabilizes her present life with Leo.


Stone’s primary role in the narrative is to test Lauren’s commitment to her current life and to expose the fantasy inherent in the idea of a perfect do-over. His confession that he regrets leaving her and ending their relationship (230) validates a long-held romantic notion for Lauren, making their subsequent affair feel almost inevitable. This affair, born of grief and nostalgia, is the mistake Lauren chooses to undo with her silver ticket, an act that eventually illustrates The Illusory Nature of Second Chances. By using her do-over on this personal, emotional transgression, Lauren learns a difficult lesson about the unforeseen consequences of altering the past.

Irina

Irina, Lauren’s great-grandmother who receives the first silver ticket in their family line, appears only in a flashback that establishes the family’s origin story. Serle depicts her as a brave and resourceful child living in a time of intense danger during the anti-Jewish pogroms in 1920s Ukraine. Her story establishes the element of magical realism in the novel and grounds the silver ticket in a history of trauma and survival. Motivated by the desperate need to save her father, Irina uses the ticket to keep him from capture and certain death during the pogroms. This act sets a precedent, framing the ticket as a tool of protection. Her story introduces the theme of Intergenerational Inheritance of Trauma and Strength, demonstrating how this power becomes a defining and burdensome legacy for the women in her family.

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