Charlie is a 32-year-old divorced former business reporter who works as a substitute teacher in Barrington, Illinois. He lives a quiet, socially isolated life in his childhood home, caring for his rescue cats while harboring dreams of buying a local pub called McDougal's. Thrust suddenly into a bizarre world of billionaire supervillains after his uncle's death, he approaches his new circumstances with a heavy dose of sarcasm and strong egalitarian principles. He prefers treating subordinates fairly over adopting the ruthless business tactics expected of him.

Morrison is a highly competent, well-dressed executive who previously served as Jake Baldwin's right-hand woman. She manages his estate and guides Charlie through his sudden transition into the international villainy business. Highly efficient and calculating, she handles logistics ranging from supplying fake passports to facilitating high-level corporate negotiations. She frequently deals with rampant sexism within the villainous industry but maintains a ruthless, unshakeable professionalism.

Hera is an orange-and-white cat Charlie rescued from a hedge several years prior. She possesses human-level intelligence, communicates via a specialized computer keyboard, and functions as a highly compensated espionage agent for Baldwin Consulting. She displays genuine affection for Charlie while operating as his stealthy, heavily armed protector.

Jake is Charlie's estranged, billionaire uncle who recently died of pancreatic cancer. He amassed immense wealth through a parking garage empire and a secretive consulting firm that caters to global villains. He operated with deep frugality, refusing to upgrade basic computer software while investing in Caribbean volcano lairs and disruptive weather technology.

Anton is a prominent leader within the Lombardy Convocation and one of Jake Baldwin's few actual friends. He brings an unruly, leashed cat to convocation meetings and stands out as the only financially solvent member of his villainous cohort. He treats Charlie with surprising warmth and candor compared to his aggressive peers.

Persephone is a tiny orange-and-white kitten whom Charlie adopts shortly after his loan application is rejected. Like Hera, she possesses enhanced intelligence and works within the Baldwin organization. She serves as a paid intern under Hera's guidance, learning the tools of the espionage trade.

Known primarily as "The Stabber," Tobias is a sarcastic operative who handles high-level security and assassination tasks. He interacts with both the Lombardy Convocation and Morrison's faction, operating with a highly flexible moral compass. He frequently delivers violent threats with a casual, conversational tone.

Evan is a CIA agent who utilizes Baldwin Consulting's identity manipulation services. He travels to the island seeking a staged death to escape his current life and government ties. He provides Charlie with crucial intelligence regarding the federal government's perception of the Baldwin estate.

The guard dolphins of Saint Genevieve, led by a clone named Blythlyn C Seventy-three, are genetically modified, highly intelligent animals. They speak through microphones with heavy profanity and hold a deep disrespect for human management. They actively organize a labor strike to demand unionization and better living conditions from the Baldwin estate.

Andy is the executor of Charlie's late father's estate and a long-time family friend. He acts as an older, critical figure who continuously lectures Charlie about his financial stagnation, career choices, and perceived lack of forward momentum in life.

Gratas is a member of the Lombardy Convocation whose legitimate business front involves extensive South American mining operations. He behaves aggressively toward Charlie during negotiations and pushes hard to extract steep membership fees from the newly acquired Baldwin estate.

Joe is the general manager of Allegheny Hospitality, the corporate front for the Caribbean volcano lair. He oversees daily operations on the island, including handling captured intruders, managing the complex facilities, and supervising the various research divisions.

Astrud works in the Cetacean Relations Department on Saint Genevieve. She acts as the primary management representative trying to handle the dolphins' aggressive labor demands, often absorbing the brunt of their profanity-laced complaints.

Eve is the head of the Human Resources department for Allegheny Hospitality. She provides standard corporate presentations that attempt to reframe villainy simply as "professional disruption," arguing that actions are neither inherently good nor bad.

Belinda is a former classmate of Charlie's who now works as a bank loan officer in their hometown. She professionally but firmly denies his loan application for McDougal's Pub due to his lack of collateral, absent business experience, and uncooperative siblings.