Palaestrio is a clever and highly observant slave currently serving the arrogant soldier, Pyrgopolynices. Originally belonging to a kind Ephesian named Pleusicles, Palaestrio possesses deep loyalty and willingly travels across the sea to locate his former master's kidnapped lover. He operates as the central mastermind of the play, designing complex architectural and theatrical schemes to trick his new master and secure freedom for his friends.

The titular braggart soldier is an excessively vain and lecherous military man living in Ephesus. He holds an absurdly inflated sense of his own attractiveness and battlefield prowess, often lying about impossible conquests while actually relying on hired mercenaries to do his fighting. His narcissism blinds him completely, making him highly susceptible to the manipulations of his slaves and the women he attempts to seduce.

Pleusicles is a kind and honorable young man from Ephesus who is deeply in love with the courtesan Philocomasium. He travels to enemy territory to rescue her after her abduction. Though good-hearted and genuinely appreciative of the hospitality he receives, he struggles to remember basic instructions and leans heavily on his former slave's quick thinking to succeed.

Philocomasium is a beautiful courtesan kidnapped by the soldier and taken from her home in Ephesus. Far more intelligent than her honorable partner, she acts as a highly talented performer capable of improvising under pressure. She actively participates in the plot to secure her freedom by running through a hole in the wall between two houses and pretending to be her own twin sister, Dicea.

Periplectomenus is the kindly, 54-year-old neighbor of the braggart soldier. Despite his age, he remains energetic and highly enthusiastic about assisting his young guest in rescuing his kidnapped lover. While he has a tendency to babble and pontificate, he generously provides his home, servants, and financial resources to support the elaborate deception.

Artotrogus is a clever and opportunistic parasite who feeds off the soldier's wealth. He earns his meals by constantly praising Pyrgopolynices and spinning wild lies about his patron's military exploits, such as punching elephants or defeating thousands of men in a single day. He privately admits to the audience that he despises his patron and only tolerates him for the food and financial benefits.

Sceledra is a female slave tasked with guarding the kidnapped courtesan. When she accidentally spots the captive kissing another man, she gets tangled in Palaestrio's web of deceit. She is sharp enough to suspect foul play regarding the "twin sister" act but ultimately decides that silence and self-preservation are her safest options to avoid her master's wrath.

Acroteleutium is a smart, confident courtesan hired to play the role of a desperate, lovestruck neighbor in the plot against the soldier. She harbors a good-natured dislike for men and takes immense pleasure in manipulating them. She requires little instruction and easily outsmarts the men who attempt to over-manage her performance, fully understanding how to exploit Pyrgopolynices's vanity.

Milphidippa is the sharp-witted maid to the hired courtesan. She expertly plays her part in the deception, feeding the braggart soldier massive amounts of flattery while barely containing her laughter. Like her mistress, she proves to be much smarter than the men who attempt to coordinate the plot, improvising wildly exaggerated compliments to keep the soldier engaged.

Lurcio is a steward and substeward in the soldier's household who enjoys special access to the wine supply. He is found thoroughly drunk and begs others to cover for him so he can hide and sleep off his intoxication rather than face punishment.

The Slave Boy is a confident servant in the elderly neighbor's household. He briefly appears to lure the obnoxious soldier into a trap, expressing comic indignation when others attempt to over-coach his simple performance.

Caria is the cook in the elderly neighbor's household. She fiercely wields a kitchen knife and eagerly seizes the opportunity to physically intimidate and demand money from the arrogant soldier when he is finally caught.