Malachi is a billionaire who inherited the Magnum Opus company from his father. He lives as a promiscuous celebrity, hiding deep insecurity about his unearned fortune. He attributes his immense wealth to divine favor. This belief makes him highly defensive when Winston Niles Rumfoord accurately predicts a strange, predetermined future for him in space.

Winston is an aristocrat who piloted his private spaceship into an uncharted space anomaly known as a chrono-synclastic infundibulum. This journey transformed him into a wave phenomenon stretching across the galaxy. He materializes on Earth once every 59 days. He possesses the ability to see the past and future, which gives him a detached attitude toward human suffering.

Beatrice is a wealthy poet and the author of Between Timid and Timbuktu. She despises the materializations occurring at her estate. She views her husband as a manipulative bully who uses his cosmic knowledge to toy with others. Fiercely independent, she purchases cyanide to avoid the horrific future her husband predicts for her.

Salo is an eleven-million-year-old machine from the planet Tralfamadore. Stranded on Saturn's moon Titan for hundreds of thousands of years, he passes the time sculpting and studying Earth. Despite being mechanical, he exhibits curiosity and loyalty toward the humans he observes.

Stony is an Englishman who drinks whiskey and serves as a soldier. He quietly observes the unusual structure and goals of the military, questioning the seemingly suicidal plans of his superiors. He values loyalty and tries to protect his peers from the harsh discipline of the army.

Noel is Malachi's father, an eccentric investor who became a multimillionaire by picking stocks based on the opening sentence of a Bible. Despite his immense wealth, he lived a solitary life in a single hotel room.

Ransom is the exceedingly thin president of Magnum Opus. Originally an IRS agent investigating Noel Constant's bizarre success, he used his intricate knowledge of corporate and tax law to exponentially grow the family's fortune.

Florence was a hotel maid who engaged in a transactional relationship with Noel Constant. After becoming pregnant, she married Noel and raised their son in a large house, though her husband remained living in his hotel room.

Kazak is a dog who accompanied his master into the chrono-synclastic infundibulum. Like Winston, he exists as a cosmic wave phenomenon and appears on Earth only during scheduled materializations.

Chrono is prophesied to be the future son of Malachi and Beatrice. Winston predicts that the boy will possess a small piece of metal that holds incredible universal importance.

Boaz is a soldier with unusually fine, well-tailored uniforms compared to his peers. An orphan from Earth who claims to be dependent on his wealthy friends for future success, he carries a hidden agenda and access to special privileges.

Helmholtz poses as a retired Midwestern teacher but secretly works as a recruiter for an off-world military operation. He targets individuals who have run out of luck or money.

Wiley is a fat man who works as a covert military agent under the guise of a retired teacher. He assists in approaching desperate individuals with crazy propositions to leave Earth.

Martin is a Boston-based repairman and a charming liar. He claims to the media that he was the mysterious guest invited to witness Winston's materialization, generating false press coverage.

Reverend Redwine is a passionate leader in the Church of God the Utterly Indifferent. He faithfully follows the church's teachings and excitedly awaits the prophesied arrival of the Space Wanderer.