Minnie is a 30-year-old chef and co-founder of a pie business called No Hard Fillings. Born just one minute after midnight on New Year's Day, she shares a birthday with Quinn Hamilton, a fact that has shaped her family's narrative of bad luck. Prone to mishaps and anxious about her birthday, she is nonetheless a caring and resilient person who finds comfort in baking savory pies and spending time with her best friend.

Quinn is a wealthy, successful businessman who was born one minute before Minnie, winning a substantial cash prize as London's first baby of 1990. Despite his material privilege, he endured a lonely childhood and struggles with emotional intimacy and commitment. He acts as the primary caregiver for his mother, balancing her needs with his own professional and personal life.

Leila is Minnie's exuberant best friend and the co-founder of their pie business. She is characterized by her brightly colored hair, vintage clothing, and steadfast belief in romance and fairy tales. Leila acts as a fiercely loyal support system for Minnie, frequently encouraging her to break out of her pessimistic shell.

Tara is Quinn's mother, a wealthy but emotionally fragile woman who struggles with severe anxiety, agoraphobia, and depression following a traumatic late-term miscarriage and a painful divorce. Despite her struggles, she maintains a warm and peaceful demeanor, relying heavily on her son for support.

Connie is Minnie's mother, a businesslike and often unsentimental woman. She harbors a long-standing bitterness over the circumstances of Minnie's birth, feeling cheated out of a monetary prize and a chosen name. This resentment frequently manifests as criticism of Minnie's life choices and a pessimistic outlook on her daughter's luck.

Bill is Minnie's father. He has a mild-mannered disposition and a deep, obsessive hobby of repairing old clocks, filling the family home with their constant ticking. He provides a quieter, more sympathetic presence compared to his wife's sharp criticisms.

Will is Minnie's older brother. He appears briefly in the family's early history, witnessing the immediate aftermath of Minnie's birth and the loss of the prize money.

Greg is Minnie's boyfriend at the beginning of the novel. He works at a newspaper and is generally dismissive of Minnie's business problems, prioritizing his own comfort and career over providing emotional support.

Ian is Leila's supportive and caring boyfriend. He is deeply devoted to Leila's happiness and career goals, providing a model of healthy partnership that causes Minnie to reevaluate her own relationship standards.

Lucy is Quinn's girlfriend early in the story and a colleague of Greg's. She is highly focused on networking and professional advancement, and she pushes Quinn to attend couples therapy to address his struggles with emotional intimacy.

Fleur is an aspiring influencer and app designer in her early twenties who works as the receptionist for Minnie and Leila's pie business. She is often more focused on her social media presence than her official duties.

Beverly is the assistant chef at No Hard Fillings. She struggles with depression and is frequently distracted by her intense anxieties regarding climate change, leading to occasional mistakes in the kitchen.

Alan is a middle-aged former ship's captain who works as the delivery driver for Minnie and Leila's pie company. He helps transport their savory creations across London.

Polly is Quinn's first serious girlfriend from his college years. She grows weary of constantly competing with Tara's mental health crises for Quinn's attention and ultimately ends the relationship.

Jaya is Quinn's girlfriend during a trip to India. She is deeply invested in documenting their romance for social media and is eager to progress their relationship to an engagement.

Rob is a restaurant manager and Minnie's former employer. He possesses an abusive disposition and uses his professional authority to retaliate against female employees who reject his advances.

Clive is Greg's roommate, who unexpectedly steps in to help mediate conversations and manage conflict between Greg and Minnie during their breakup.

Mr. Buchanan is Minnie's landlord, an unyielding man who delivers unwelcome news regarding her lease and heating situation on her birthday.

Clare co-owns a local hair salon. She operates as a friendly confidante to her younger clients, dispensing life and relationship advice from her chair.

Claire co-owns a local hair salon alongside her identically named friend. She helps style the bridal party and contributes to the group's ongoing conversations about romance and commitment.