Truly Madly Deeply

The novel is set in Staindrop, a small coastal town in Maine, and follows Calla "Cal" Litvin and Ambrose "Row" Casablancas across years of longing, secrets, and missed connections.

The story opens with eighteen-year-old Cal, a socially anxious young woman with androphobia, a fear of men rooted in past trauma, having sex with Row, her best friend Dylan Casablancas's older brother, on the hood of his Mustang the night before Cal leaves for college. Cal has harbored a secret crush on Row, a culinary student home from Le Cordon Bleu in Paris, but has never acted on it, knowing Dylan hates when friends pursue her brother. Cal asks Row to take her virginity because he is the only man she feels safe enough to be intimate with. Dylan arrives unexpectedly, catches them, and ends their fourteen-year friendship. Cal departs for Columbia University the next day, vowing never to return.

Five years later, Cal returns for the funeral of her father, Artem, a beloved physics teacher who died of cancer. She has been waitressing in New York and dreaming of launching a true crime podcast called Hot Girl Bummer but has made no progress. Her mother, Marina, confesses her fear of being alone, and Cal promises to stay through January first. Row arrives with a very pregnant Dylan and relays Artem's final messages, revealing that Artem mentored Row in applying physics to culinary excellence. Dylan briefly embraces Cal before pulling back emotionally. Row has become a famous chef and TV personality, opening a three-Michelin-starred restaurant called Descartes and planning to sell the land to GS Properties, a development company that intends to build a luxury hotel and mall. The town despises him for this decision, and Row is coldly hostile toward Cal without explanation.

Woven throughout the narrative are online chat excerpts between two anonymous users on an androphobia forum: oBITCHuary and McMonster. The two have been confiding in each other for three years, sharing an intimate emotional bond whose real-world implications remain hidden for much of the novel.

Cal rebuilds her friendship with Dylan, who is on bed rest, unhappily engaged to Tucker Reid, and miserable. When Row's restaurant loses servers, his best friend and manager, Rhyland Coltridge, hires Cal over Row's objections. Row relents under pressure from Dylan, their mother Zeta, and Rhyland but insists Cal stay out of his kitchen.

A flashback reveals that during Row's first summer home from Paris, he was already deeply in love with Cal. She had found photographs with her face cut out and confronted him; he told her she was irresistible but revealed that Dylan, not he, had cut the photos. Dylan's protectiveness was always about shielding Row's heart, not mere sibling possessiveness.

Cal's late father left her a letter with two final requests: spread his ashes somewhere beautiful, and start running again, something she abandoned after a traumatic incident. Row begins showing up each morning to run with her, using conversation and humor to prevent her from spiraling into flashbacks. During one solo attempt, Cal has a panic attack, reliving memories of being chased through the woods. Row finds her collapsed and tends to her gently. Their bond deepens, even as Row's anonymous stalker escalates from hate mail to leaving a dead coyote inside the house he is building for his family.

The novel's central revelation comes during a morning run when Row accidentally calls Cal by her forum username. Cal realizes that Row is McMonster. He joined the forum because of his own abusive father and did not recognize Cal's profile until she returned to Staindrop. Cal connects years of evidence: the paper ring he made her in first grade, the Oh Henry! candy bars he always kept for her, the slow dance he taught her before prom. Row confirms he was fully in love with her and that Dylan's fury stemmed from Cal dismissing their encounter as meaningless, which trampled his heart.

During a vulnerable night at a community park, they share their deepest traumas. Cal reveals that at fourteen she was secretly involved with Franco, an eighteen-year-old senior whose jealous girlfriend led the track team in chasing Cal through the woods, breaking her ankle, partially burying her alive, and leaving her to crawl back alone. Franco posted nude photos of Cal online. Cal identifies the girlfriend as Allison Murray, the town's current mayor. Row reveals that his father, Doug, was a violent alcoholic who beat him and his mother for years, showing Cal scars hidden under tattoos. He confesses he opened Descartes partly as revenge against his father, who had dreamed of owning a restaurant. They kiss in the snow, and Row tells Cal that Dylan has given her blessing for them to be together.

Their physical relationship intensifies. Cal finds liberation in her intimacy with Row, who centers her consent and comfort. Row confesses he is in love with Cal and asks her to fall in love with him, but Cal panics, saying the pressure of potentially disappointing him would destroy her. Shortly after, Row is attacked and stabbed behind Descartes by two masked assailants. Cal finds him bleeding and stays with him at the hospital. There, Row asks Cal to choose him, offering to abandon his planned London restaurant and remain in Staindrop. Cal turns him down. In the same hospital, Dylan delivers a baby girl named Gravity. They discover that Tucker has been having an affair with Allison, and Dylan receives the news with relief, seeing it as the excuse she needed to leave him. Row also reveals he has been handmaking the Oh Henry! bars himself, replicating the recipe since the candy went out of production, because he has worried about Cal's health since she was a teenager. Row signs the GS Properties contract, committing to London.

On Christmas Eve, Cal confronts Allison at the Murray mansion. Through her own investigation using security footage, Cal has traced Row's stalker to an associate of Allison's. Allison partially breaks down, revealing she too was dating Franco and was pregnant at fourteen before her father forced an abortion. Cal demands a public confession. On Christmas Day, Cal wins a 10K charity run, fulfilling her father's last wish. Row waits at the finish line, and the sheriff arrests Allison before the assembled crowd.

Cal and Row part at the airport on January first. Row gives Cal a box containing a key to a Manhattan recording studio he rented and decorated for her, having flown to New York on Christmas Eve to set it up. Using the studio, Cal records her first podcast episode and realizes the only person whose opinion matters is Row's. She acknowledges she has been in love with him for years.

Cal flies to London and crashes the opening night of La Vie en Rogue, Row's new restaurant, carrying a box of childhood keepsakes proving her love. She drops to one knee to propose, but Row stops her, producing a Tiffany ring he has carried since their first kiss. He proposes first, and Cal accepts.

The epilogue, set one year later, shows Cal and Row married in London. Cal's podcast has ten thousand subscribers, Marina's mitten business is thriving, and Dylan has left Tucker to co-parent Gravity. Row has quit smoking and built Cal a recording studio in their apartment. Cal reveals she is pregnant, presenting an ultrasound as her Christmas gift. Her hair tips are orange, symbolizing happiness, and she silently tells her father she has found joy.