Geoffrey is a 21-year-old American archivist who travels to Tuscany seeking order and a break from his chaotic romantic past. He expects to apply his formal education to meticulously catalog an elderly aristocrat's art collection. Instead, he faces immediate absurdity, from overflowing septic tanks to household superstitions. His rigid insistence on logic clashes with the whimsical, unpredictable nature of his new environment.

Lisabetta, known as the Baronessa or Coco, is a 92-year-old aristocrat who presides over Villa Coco. She operates entirely on her own terms, organizing her home and library based on personal affinity rather than conventional logic. She assigns nicknames to her staff and guests, forcing them to adapt to her theatrical sensibilities. Her history includes youthful adventures on Capri and a deep attachment to a boat named Caprice.

Giacomo is Lisabetta's shy, younger cousin who frequently visits the estate. He lives in a marriage of convenience to appease conservative family expectations and secure financial stability. This arrangement provides him with a respectable facade but leaves him emotionally constrained. He views his time at the villa as a necessary escape from his rigid daily life.

Oscar is a dapper, cheerful British art dealer and one of Lisabetta's oldest companions. He frequently visits the estate carrying packages wrapped in brown paper. He serves as a voice of reason within the chaotic household, translating the aristocratic eccentricities for newcomers. Having renounced many pleasures in his fifties to preserve his health, he now advocates for living passionately.

Estelle is an Italian Algerian artist who lives in a cottage neighboring the villa. Her bohemian lifestyle and practical nature provide a calm counterpoint to the aristocratic theatrics of the main house. She has a grounded perspective on the estate's dynamics, having learned to manage her neighbor's demanding personality over years of friendship.

Princess Giuseppina Maria Augusta Raffaella, known as Pippa, is an eccentric aristocrat in Lisabetta's social circle. She is an unapologetic snob who insists she cannot understand American accents. Despite her haughty exterior, she is resourceful and highly creative when it comes to solving unusual problems.

Furman Childress is an American expatriate who knew Lisabetta during their youth on the island of Capri. Lisabetta mockingly refers to him as "Pullman" and views him as incurably American despite his long residence in Europe. He holds a grudge regarding a stolen diamond from their past.

Ghazel is a wiry Lebanese handyman and driver for the estate. He communicates with the owner in a highly specific pidgin language that only they understand. He tackles property maintenance with bizarre, chaotic methods, such as proposing a wall of dogs to keep pests away.

Nimali is the Sri Lankan cook who manages the culinary needs of the chaotic household. She helps maintain the daily operations of the estate alongside her husband, working through sudden changes in guest lists and impromptu olive harvests.

Vinsanda works at the estate alongside his wife, managing the physical labor required to keep the rustic property functioning. He participates in the communal rituals of the region, including the annual late-night olive pressing.

Laurine is Giacomo's wife, residing in Milan. She entered into a marriage of convenience with him to satisfy familial expectations. She maintains a separate romantic life while preserving the outward appearance of a traditional family unit.

Carlotta is Laurine's romantic partner. She is part of a complex, modern family arrangement designed to accommodate personal desires within conservative social structures.

The faina, or marten, is a local wild animal that acts as the villa's sworn enemy. It steals chickens and evades capture, representing the untamable natural forces that constantly disrupt human attempts at order on the property.