63 pages 2 hours read

Julie Smith

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2022

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Part 3Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Part 3: “On Emotional Pain”

Part 3, Chapter 10 Summary: “Navigating the Emotional Landscape”

A common sentiment shared by many therapy-goers is the desire to rid themselves of certain discomforting emotions and to resurrect feelings of joy and tranquility. However, rather than working to eliminate negative emotions, therapy teaches individuals to acknowledge their presence and discern their underlying messages.

Emotions aren’t necessarily allies or adversaries. They’re nuanced interpretations of the world, informed by both sensory inputs and past experiences. Someone who has previously experienced a panic attack might interpret a racing heart as a recurrence, when in reality it might simply be that they had too much coffee. The brain interprets physical cues based on past experiences, sometimes leading to heightened responses.

Although it would be ideal to dictate daily emotions, reality is more intricate. Emotions aren’t arbitrary; they arise from a blend of external stimuli and internal interpretations. Because interpretation plays such a large role in the experience of emotion, individuals have more influence over their emotional state than they often realize.

Attempting to suppress negative emotions is like trying to hold back waves at the beach. Just as waves possess an inevitable force, emotions too have their natural trajectory. Accepting and facing these emotional “waves” is essential to maintaining balance.

Another misconception is treating emotions and thoughts as absolute truths.