Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

Benjamin Stevenson

Everyone in This Bank Is a Thief

Benjamin Stevenson
64 pages2-hour read
Fiction
Novel
Adult
Published in 2026

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Character List

Meet the key characters, with insights into their roles, motivations, and relationships—spoiler-free.

Major Characters

Ernest is an amateur detective and author who firmly adheres to the "fair-play" rules of Golden Age mystery fiction. He arrives in Huxley seeking a loan to fund a professional detective agency. Though highly observant and dedicated to logic, his intense focus on solving puzzles frequently causes him to prioritize mysteries over the safety and feelings of the people around him.

Key Relationships

Fiancée and Investigative Partner of Juliette Henderson

Potential Financier and Employer of Winston Huxley

Producer Attempting to Adapt Books of Remy Allard

Juliette is Ernest's highly capable and sharp-witted fiancée. She serves as his grounding force, routinely challenging him when his dedication to detective work blinds him to real human consequences. She is physically capable and deeply loyal, but she refuses to tolerate his more reckless investigative decisions.

Key Relationships

Bryce is a desperate father visiting Huxley. He is driven by profound grief and parental devotion for his terminally ill daughter, Emma, who is waiting for a heart transplant. He struggles under the immense pressure of his family's medical crisis, a situation that pushes him into increasingly volatile circumstances.

Key Relationships

Daughter of Emma Fredericks

Wife of Queenie Fredericks

Winston is the elderly co-director of Huxley's Bank, carrying himself with the distinct entitlement of old money. Though he initially pretends to consider funding Ernest's detective agency, he actually wants to hire Ernest to quietly locate his missing brother. He is fiercely protective of his family's reputation and pioneer legacy.

Key Relationships

Missing Brother of Edward Huxley

Grandfather of Harold Huxley

Hired Investigator for Ernest Cunningham

Employee of Felix Gao

Tobias is a local divorce lawyer who also serves as a part-time police negotiator for the town of Huxley. He projects a calm, highly professional demeanor while communicating with those trapped inside via a two-way radio. His involvement becomes intensely personal because his teenage son is among the hostages.

Key Relationships

Inside Contact for Ernest Cunningham

Supporting Characters

Edward is the missing co-director of Huxley's Bank. Before vanishing, he mysteriously changed the bank's vault code, leaving the branch entirely unable to access its cash reserves. He has been struggling with severe grief following the tragic death of his son the previous year.

Key Relationships

Brother and Co-director of Winston Huxley

Deceased Son of Ben Huxley

Pet Parrot of Ditto

Eric is a 15-year-old competitive esports player trapped in Huxley's Bank. As a top-ranked junior player in the video game Buccaneers, he earns significantly more money than his parents, but he remains a frightened teenager caught in a terrifying physical situation. He live-streams parts of the ordeal to his online followers.

Key Relationships

Father of Tobias Cuthbert

Former Gaming Rival of Ben Huxley

Cordelia is a young woman seeking treatment for a severe heart condition. She is the public face of a highly successful $150,000 online medical fundraiser. Despite her apparent physical frailty and need for an IV, she remains remarkably calm under pressure, claiming her illness has removed her fear of dying.

Key Relationships

Grandmother of Laverna Bright

Laverna is Cordelia's fiercely protective grandmother and a former truck driver accustomed to hauling dangerous cargo. She is constantly vigilant over Cordelia's medical needs, strictly managing her granddaughter's medications and well-being during the tense bank standoff.

Key Relationships

Granddaughter of Cordelia Bright

Remy is a smooth-talking Hollywood producer who optioned Ernest's books for a television adaptation. He claims to be banking in Huxley for his clothing company, but his presence in the remote town immediately raises Ernest's suspicions. He tends to view crises through the dramatic lens of a movie script.

Key Relationships

Author Adapted by Ernest Cunningham

Lead Actor for Laurence Birch

Felix is a security guard at Huxley's Bank whose uniform pants seem unusually heavy for his frame. His family has worked for the Huxleys for generations, stretching back to his great-great-grandfather. This long history fills him with a quiet, steady resentment toward the bank's wealthy founders.

Key Relationships

Great-great-grandfather of Yang

Coworker of Michelle

Employer of Winston Huxley

Gabriel is a young priest who has taken a strict year-long vow of silence, forcing him to converse entirely by typing on a tablet. Despite his vow, he remains highly observant and is surprisingly eager to share local gossip with Ernest and Juliette.

Key Relationships

Fellow Hostage of Ernest Cunningham

Parishioner of Edward Huxley

Michelle is the receptionist at Huxley's Bank, apparently fresh from a long vacation. She is observant and sharp, exchanging flirtatious glances with Felix the security guard while managing the bank's front-of-house operations before the lockdown occurs.

Key Relationships

Coworker of Felix Gao

Employer of Winston Huxley

Laurence is a dedicated method actor cast to play Ernest in a television adaptation. He immerses himself so deeply in the role that he copies Ernest's clothes and steals his coffee loyalty card, shortly before being involved in a tragic accident.

Key Relationships

Producer of Remy Allard

Character Inspiration for Ernest Cunningham

Ben is Edward Huxley's son and Winston's nephew, who tragically died a year prior to the bank events. He was an avid competitive gamer who once defeated Eric Cuthbert in a high-stakes tournament, earning a gold bar as a prize.

Key Relationships

Grieving Father of Edward Huxley

Former Gaming Rival of Eric Cuthbert

Milton is a teller at Huxley's Bank who manages to escape when the building goes into lockdown and the steel shutters automatically seal off his workspace.

Key Relationships

Demanding Customer of Remy Allard

Ditto is Edward Huxley's pet parrot. The bird frequently repeats cryptic, unsettling fragments of overheard conversations, turning it into an unexpected witness in Ernest's investigation of the bank's mysteries.

Key Relationships

Owner of Edward Huxley

Harold is the 19th-century founder of Huxley's Bank and the town's pioneer patriarch. His legacy, built upon the discovery of a massive gold nugget in 1892, overshadows the modern descendants who run the institution.

Key Relationships

Grandson of Winston Huxley

Grandson of Edward Huxley

Former Prospecting Partner of Yang

Yang was a Chinese gold prospector from the 1800s who worked alongside Harold Huxley. He is Felix's great-great-grandfather, and his history is deeply tied to the origins of the Huxley fortune and a long-standing grievance held by his descendants.

Key Relationships

Great-great-grandson of Felix Gao

Former Prospecting Partner of Harold Huxley

Emma is Bryce Fredericks's terminally ill daughter who suffers from myocarditis. Her desperate need for a donor heart drives the emotional core of her family's actions and decisions throughout the narrative.

Key Relationships

Devoted Father of Bryce Fredericks

Mother of Queenie Fredericks

Queenie is Bryce Fredericks's wife and Emma's mother. She works as a seamstress for Remy Allard's television production, caught up in the profound stress of her daughter's ongoing medical crisis.

Key Relationships

Husband of Bryce Fredericks

Daughter of Emma Fredericks

Employer of Remy Allard