For the Fans

For the Fans examines the psychological cost of constructing an identity around other people’s expectations. Through Kyran, Tom, and Avi, the novel repeatedly contrasts the identities performed for others with identities that feel internally authentic. These characters learn the danger of allowing appearance to become more important than emotional truth, causing isolation that prevents genuine connection and forces them into a state of denial that erodes their authentic selves. The novel ultimately argues that visibility becomes burdensome when some people believe acceptance depends upon presenting only an approved version of themselves.

Kyran’s first-person narration is particularly important to this theme because it creates an immediate divide between how he appears and how he experiences himself. To teammates, fans, and much of his family, he presents a confident “superstar” quarterback persona. He uses social media to project a life of effortless success, posting photos with captions like “#blessed” and emphasizing his own social status, athletic ability, and the importance of a successful football future. His own chapters, however, reveal anxiety, anger, confusion, and a constant awareness of how he is being perceived. Because readers have access to this private side, moments that might otherwise look like confidence frequently become recognizable performance. For example, Kyran gossips with Marcus and Garrison about which girl he should be dating. He thinks to himself, “[i]f I could love someone, I’m sure it should be Becca. On paper, she’s perfect for me. Beautiful, smart, similar background… My dad likes her. But I just don’t feel it. I don’t know what love feels like” (31). This contrast between who Kyran projects and who he truly is emphasizes his need to project heterosexuality and emotional detachment for the sake of filling the role of star quarterback. They reveal how thoroughly he has internalized the expectation that certain parts of himself cannot coexist with the identity he has built.

To contrast with Kyran and emphasize this disconnect, the characters of Tom and Avi serve as foils to his character. When Kyran first sees his father interacting with Avi and Hannah, he is shocked by how understanding and kind he is. He notes how his father is “actually smiling, for the first time in what feels like my entire life. And he sounds happy. What kind of fresh hell is this??” (17). Although the limited point of view never allows the reader to see how Tom feels, it is clear that the version Kyran has known—emphasizing achievement, respectability, and control—is not the version Tom wants to be, as his happiness comes once he is comfortable and happy with Hannah. Similarly, Avi’s perspective shows his comfort and happiness with himself, as he actively chooses to be artistic and unconventional rather than reshaping himself entirely for social approval. While he ultimately creates a fabricated version of himself online for money, he is not forced to maintain the public image that Kyran is, instead taking the blame for the OnlyFans account and attempting to protect Kyran’s reputation. After his divorce, Tom constructs a new life centered on the appearance of success and contentment, buying a nicer house and presenting a warm, easy-going persona to his new family, Hannah and Avi. This facade, however, is starkly different from the cold, authoritarian man Kyran knows.

The contrasting versions of Kyran and even Avi can be seen in the distinction between the different settings the two inhabit. Highly public settings like football fields, team events, and social media force them to hide their sexuality and their feelings for each other, with Kyran emphasizing his role as the quarterback over his sexuality. The conflict between the private and public spaces gradually collapses as their relationship becomes more difficult to compartmentalize, forcing them off of social media and into the public with their relationship. By the conclusion, neither character abandons public life completely. Instead, Kyran is drafted into the NFL, their relationship becomes public, and both men end the novel living a more authentic version of themselves. Ultimately, the novel redefines strength as the ability to exist publicly without allowing an audience to dictate the boundaries of one’s identity.