54 pages 1 hour read

Leil Lowndes

How To Talk To Anyone

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 1998

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Part 6Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Part 6: “How to Differentiate the Power of Praise from the Folly of Flattery”

Part 6, Chapter 51 Summary: “How to Compliment Someone (Without Sounding Like You’re Brownnosing)”

Giving and receiving praise is complex, as compliments can backfire if executed poorly. Navigating delicate social situations can be done through an indirect approach called “Grapevine Glory.” The idea is that an overheard compliment is more valued than a direct one, as it reduces the risk of the praise being perceived as manipulative. By praising someone through a third party, one can elude suspicion and magnify their praise. This tactic accommodates various social dynamics, such as the receiver’s professional position and self-image.

Part 6, Chapter 52 Summary: “How to Be a ‘Carrier Pigeon’ of Good Feelings”

“Carrier Pigeon Kudos” suggests that when hearing a compliment about someone, one should pass it along to the person being complimented. This technique creates goodwill rather than cultivating an environment for gossip. Sharing relevant news is also an effective way to create connections.

Part 6, Chapter 53 Summary: “How to Make ’Em Feel Your Admiration ‘Just Slipped Out’”

“Implied Magnificence” advocates for implying positive qualities about someone instead of offering overt compliments. For example, asking a stranger if they know any “fine dining restaurants nearby” implies that the stranger is of good taste. However, these compliments can be a double-edged sword; they must be carefully crafted to avoid negative implications. For example, complimenting a woman for looking like a former model implies that she is no longer as beautiful as she used to be.