Asha is Hirsi Ali’s mother and a complex figure, with her abuse of her daughters contradicting her earlier independence of mind in the face of gender oppression. While Asha later turns into a pious woman who imposes draconian rules on her daughters, Hirsi Ali notes that her mother was a rebel in her early years. Asha obtained a divorce from her first husband in the early 1970s, fighting for her rights in front of a Kuwaiti judge. She then moved to Mogadishu with her son, and eventually married Hirsi, choosing him “in a culture that disapproved of choosing your own partner” (16). Asha also fights with Ayeeyo after she organizes the female genital mutilation of Ayaan and Haweya, showing her strong spirit.

However, as the memoir progresses Asha becomes more bitter and conservative, shedding the ambition of her youth. Hirsi Ali notes that the young woman who left her family to live and work alone in Aden now refuses to work outside the home after her time in Saudi Arabia, even though her children are strapped for resources. Hirsi’s treatment of Asha embitters her further. Hirsi forms another family in Ethiopia without Asha’s knowledge or consent, does not provide consistent financial support, and refuses to participate in childcare and housework.

Effectively a single mother raising three children in constrained conditions, Asha turns to a strict form of Islam in the hope of providing her family with structure. Her most egregious actions are her beatings of her daughters—with one episode landing Ayaan in surgery—and encouraging Haweya to come home even though Holland has better mental health resources. Haweya dies shortly after her return, but Asha refuses to acknowledge her part in the tragedy. When Ayaan meets her mother for the last time in the memoir, she describes her as “a spent force […] nothing left of the proud young woman who had left her family in the miyé to go to Aden” (258). Asha represents how patriarchy forces women to internalize misogyny and give up on their dreams.

The father of Ayaan and an important member of the SSDF, Hirsi is a Magan of the highborn Darod clan. Hirsi was raised in relative wealth and sent to Columbia University in New York for his degree in anthropology. His politics at the beginning of the memoir lean towards the center-left (though he is a religious conservative). Hirsi’s education, status, male privilege, and magnetic personality give him an air of authority, with Hirsi Ali noting that in his presence the family falls into order, putting on their best behavior. Politically active, Hirsi does not hesitate in talking about his opposition to Siad Barre, which lands him in jail. Hirsi is a devout Muslim who interprets Islam as a religion of peace. He shuns harmful pre-Islamic practices such as female genital mutilation.

However, Hirsi Ali suggests there is a gap between her father’s theories and practice. While Hirsi insists his daughters can pray with him on the same mat, he also loads all the housework onto his wife, and then Hirsi Ali. When Asha passes on the utensils-cleaning job to Hirsi Ali, Hirsi does not object to his young daughter being overburdened with work. He also refuses to examine his male privilege in Islam, keeping multiple wives in different countries, and ordering Hirsi Ali into an arranged marriage. As is the case with Asha, Hirsi grows more conservative with age, ironically cutting off Hirsi Ali for speaking her mind even though he did the same during Barre’s regime.

As the memoir ends, he remarries his first wife in America and abandons the impoverished Asha. These actions complicate Hirsi Ali’s view of her father as a hero, and shows her that he is as fallible as any other human being.

Hirsi Ali’s beloved younger sister Haweya was a fiery, bright young woman who had to grapple with mental health issues in her adulthood. Haweya died in 1998 at the age of 26 after she ran out in a storm hallucinating, suffered a miscarriage, and contracted a deadly infection. Of Haweya’s death, Hirsi Ali notes that she felt heartbroken but relieved, “the idea that she was now no longer in pain, but resting peacefully, was surprisingly comforting” (258).

Haweya’s latter years depict a sharp change in character. The younger Haweya is described by Hirsi Ali as “fearless,” standing up to Asha’s beatings, venturing out in the streets, and moving to Mogadishu before Hirsi Ali. She is also a naturally gifted student, excelling at her schoolwork without trying too hard. To Hirsi Ali, Haweya is a source of strength and unconditional support: Haweya does not judge her for her hasty first marriage, and is the only family member with whom Hirsi Ali chooses to stay in touch when she first comes to Holland. Hirsi Ali also notes that unlike her, Haweya refused to be swayed by Sister Aziza, remaining iconoclastic.

The move to Holland supposedly triggers the change in Haweya, since she no longer has much to fight against. Haweya tells Hirsi Ali that, “I was so used to fighting with everybody for every little thing, and suddenly there is nothing to fight for—everything is possible” (253). Haweya suddenly feels lost, ultimately turning to Islam for guidance. The more pious Haweya grows, the more she criticizes Ayaan’s Western attire, with her judgmental tone marking a radical departure. She also starts getting hallucinations which she confuses for divine visions. However, Haweya’s mental health issues may well have predated Holland, since Hirsi Ali describes her history of reckless behavior and unplanned pregnancies.

Hirsi Ali notes that it would be unfair to blame Islam for Haweya’s worsening state, as the unrest inside Haweya is chemical. She suggests Haweya’s condition was a result of her childhood trauma—Haweya’s excision was particularly grisly—and inherited factors.

Mahad is a complex character in Hirsi Ali’s memoir, since he veers between supporting her and playing the role of the patriarchal older brother. Hirsi Ali notes that she and Mahad squabbled endlessly as children, her grandmother Ayeeyo stating the “enmity” arose when Hirsi Ali displaced Mahad from their mother’s lap (the two are a year apart). While always teasing and hitting her—one time he even pushed her in the latrine—Mahad comes to her aid in unexpected ways, such as when he explains the menstrual cycle to her and gives her money to buy sanitary napkins.

As a male, Mahad’s childhood privileges are very different from Hirsi Ali and Haweya’s experiences. Mahad is spared Asha’s beatings, sent to more expensive schools, and treated better than his sisters. This leads to a hardening of his views on women: When Ayaan changes her mind about Abshir, an angry Mahad twists her arm hard, believing he has the right to control her, being her superior. In 2006, Mahad tells the documentary crew of a Dutch program called Zembla that the story of Hirsi Ali’s excision is fake, their progressive family shunning such practices. Hirsi Ali knows Mahad lied to save the honor of his clan, but the lie has devastating effects, strengthening the case for the revocation of her citizenship.

Hirsi Ali has a complicated relationship with her grandmother Ayeeyo, though the memoir shows Ayeeyo’s actions are influenced by the bitter struggles of her life. Ayeeyo is from the northern Isaq people, her father a herder. Following her father’s death and her mother’s remarriage, Ayeeyo’s stepfather married her off at the age of 13 to a 40-year-old Darod man called Artan.

Raising nine children in the harsh conditions of the desert, Ayeeyo develops a strong sense of survival as well as a deeply-ingrained mistrust of people different from her, often thinking of other clans and nationalities as “gaalo” (dirty). Ayeeyo’s worst act is arranging to mutilate the genitals of Haweya and Ayaan, because of the common, widespread Somali belief that the clitoris is a dirty organ that needs to be clipped early in life. However, Ayeeyo is also depicted as strong, like the women of Hirsi Ali’s maternal side. When Barre’s secret police come to their house in Hirsi’s absence, Ayeeyo refuses to let them enter, driving them off with her yelling.

A radical preacher from the Islamic Brotherhood, Boqol Sawm (He Who Fasts for a Hundred Days) is Hirsi Ali’s religious teacher or ma’alim for a brief while. Boqol is polemical and advocates the Saudi style of strict Islam, walking around Eastleigh (Hirsi Ali’s Nairobi neighborhood) screaming at people to cover up their daughters. Boqol represents the negative side of Islamic extremism.

Boqol’s counter in the text, Sister Aziza is a radical as well, attempting to proselytize people, but with a very different approach. Sister Aziza encourages her students to develop pious thoughts and robe themselves without threatening them with hell or damnation. Hirsi Ali notes that Sister Aziza’s advice can be contradictory, such as her belief that women are equal to men, yet must obey their husbands.

Sister Aziza and Boqol represent the wave of religious revivalism that spread through Kenya and other African and Asian nations in the late 1980s and 1990s. With nations often wracked by war and conflict, people needed a stable system to guide them. Radical religion—supported by money from Saudi Arabia—stepped in, offering people a clear path to salvation through following a strict set of rules.

Epitomizing the Dutch love for freedom of speech and intellectual provocation, Theo van Gogh was a filmmaker, writer, and vocal critic of Islam. His artistic vision revolved around confronting controversial topics to open a dialogue around them. Hirsi Ali describes him as “the Lord of Misrule” (311), referring to the “fool” who stirs up revels and trouble in traditional Christmas pageants. Theo’s brutal murder by Mohammed Bouyeri represents the grave threat religious extremism poses to free speech and individualism.