Rincewind is a tall, scrawny, and highly cynical failed student of Unseen University. His primary survival mechanism is running away in a panic, a tactic he employs frequently. He accidentally absorbed one of the eight Great Spells from the Octavo into his mind years ago, which prevents him from learning any other magic but actively keeps him alive in dangerous situations. He longs for a safe, boring life but is constantly forced into unwanted adventures.

Twoflower is an insurance clerk from the distant Agatean Empire and the Discworld's very first tourist. He is relentlessly optimistic, naive, and interprets the world entirely through the lens of heroic stories and travel brochures. His absolute certainty that he is a safe, uninvolved observer often acts as a bizarre shield against the immediate threats around him.

Cohen is a legendary hero renowned across the Discworld, but he is now 87 years old. He struggles with arthritis, a stiff back, and a lack of teeth that forces him to eat soft foods. Despite his physical frailty, decades of surviving epic encounters have made him a cunning, ruthless, and highly effective fighter who prefers unfair tactics to honorable duels.

The Luggage is a large, battered chest made of extremely rare, sapient pearwood. It moves around on hundreds of tiny legs and possesses an entirely chaotic, homicidal protective instinct. It ignores the laws of physics, holding vast quantities of items and consuming any living threat to its owner without a trace.

Ymper Trymon is an ambitious, modernizing wizard who serves as the second-in-command at Unseen University. He despises the theatrical rituals of the older wizards, preferring organizational charts, memos, and strict efficiency. He possesses a bleak, pitilessly logical mind and seeks to consolidate all magical power under his own bureaucratic control.

Galder Weatherwax is the traditionalist Chancellor of Unseen University. An eighth-level wizard, he relies on ancient, elaborate ceremonies and views magic as a mysterious art. He is highly suspicious of Trymon's calculating nature and relies on his established political acumen to maintain his authority during the magical crisis.

Death is the anthropomorphic personification of mortality on the Discworld, appearing as a tall skeleton in a black robe who speaks in small capital letters. He treats his cosmic duties as a necessary profession and is occasionally annoyed by magical summons that interrupt his rare social outings.

Bethan is a practical young woman initially furious about being rescued from a druidic sacrifice, as she had spent years preparing for it. Once freed, she quickly adapts to life on the road, displaying a no-nonsense attitude and a strong, assertive nature as she travels with her rescuers.

Herrena is a seasoned swordswoman and professional tracker hired by the wizards of Unseen University. She is highly skilled, deeply distrustful of magical employers, and relentlessly pursues Rincewind's party across difficult terrain.

Belafon is a young druid who works as a computer hardware consultant. He pilots a massive stone megalith through the sky to deliver it as a replacement component for a stone circle, keeping the rock airborne purely through the psychological power of persuasion.

Swires is a six-inch-tall gnome living in the enchanted Forest of Skund. He acts as a local guide for travelers, eagerly offering them food and pointing them toward shelter in a nearby gingerbread cottage.

Ysabell is the adoptive daughter of Death. She lives in his frozen, dark domain and suffers from intense boredom due to the lack of living visitors, making her overly eager to trap travelers in the netherworld permanently.

Kwartz is the leader of a band of ancient trolls. Following a deeply ingrained geological legend, he mobilizes his tribe of living rocks to assist Rincewind in surviving the dangers of the Trollbone Mountains.

Lackjaw is a dwarven jeweler operating in a city rapidly succumbing to an anti-magic cult. He possesses the unique skill required to carve and fit dentures made out of a troll's diamond tooth.

The Shopkeeper is an irritable merchant who runs a wandering, magical establishment that jumps uncontrollably between dimensions and cities. He is the victim of a petty curse placed on him by a frustrated sorcerer over retail hours.

The Head Librarian of Unseen University is accidentally transformed into an orangutan when the Octavo releases a massive burst of magical energy. He quickly adapts to his new form, retaining his duties among the dangerous magical texts.